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#Post#: 23--------------------------------------------------
Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Slowcoach
Date: August 15, 2013, 1:47 pm
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Hard for those of us who feeling safer as "bottoms" to say as we
don't (yet) have experience in switching - or at least, I don't.
I am told that the desire to switch can sometimes be developed
as confidence increases but at the moment, I feel safer as the
bottom - safer but more painful! :))
#Post#: 33--------------------------------------------------
Re: Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Admin
Date: August 15, 2013, 3:51 pm
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Surely you'd feel safer as top as you're then in control.
I must say i prefer the use of top and bottom instead of sub and
Dom
#Post#: 35--------------------------------------------------
Re: Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Slowcoach
Date: August 15, 2013, 4:12 pm
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No, that is where I may be really different (although maybe
there are others like me). Being the "top" carries
responsibility and not least knowing what you are doing. I
really would not have any idea as to how to "top". Also, I would
be scared of over doing it or under doing it or just making a
bloody fool of myself. My fantasy so far (and maybe it will
develop) is to hand over control (surrender is a word, I heard
once) to someone who you trust entirely. You know that it will
be painful or uncomfortable but if it is someone "nice" in whom
you have trust, then it sort of doesn't matter about the pain as
you know that you will get over it! We hear the term "sweetly
sadistic" from time to time and I think that this is quite close
to my fantasy. Handing over control (surrendering if you like)
to someone that you trust completely is not scary, it is
exciting especially if there is an element of uncertainty
involved - not all pre-scripted. In life, we have to take
responsibility and sometimes we want a break from it - it is
gorgeous to hand over control to someone whom you really trust
and much, much safer. You don't have to do anything except be
passive for a while. Does this view surprise everyone? Is it
really that unusual?
#Post#: 36--------------------------------------------------
Re: Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Admin
Date: August 15, 2013, 4:25 pm
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That's why safe words are there, if you (as top) over do it, the
bottom will let you know by safe wording
#Post#: 37--------------------------------------------------
Re: Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Slowcoach
Date: August 15, 2013, 4:33 pm
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True and good point!
I will stay as "bottom" for time being, however, and one day I
might just graduate to higher level.
Snails do sometimes come right out of their shells but
everything has to be right first!
Being told to out the cat out - night night, all! :)
#Post#: 42--------------------------------------------------
Control
DIR By: fenton3k
Date: August 15, 2013, 4:57 pm
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Slowcoach, in reply #2 above, has come up with an interesting
observation.
It's a bit like a rollercoaster ride. One is in a situation
which one knows from an engineering point is quite safe* but
where one has no control once it starts moving and one is both
exhilarated and scared at the same time.
Is this the sort of feeling that Slowcoach is trying to express?
(* and please, sidetrack this into a debate about the safety of
theme park equipment - it was only a parallel!)
#Post#: 43--------------------------------------------------
Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Admin
Date: August 15, 2013, 4:58 pm
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Well the thing with roller coasters........
#Post#: 48--------------------------------------------------
Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Grant Marks
Date: August 15, 2013, 5:31 pm
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I am not sure where the title theme is going but I will go with
the flow here. As I have said before. I top or domme depending
on your viewpoint, but I take my position very seriously. It is
a big responsibility to provide pain and pleasure in such a
potentially violent way to another human being. When some animal
owners hit their animals they don't really consider the strength
or amount of impact that the animal receives. Humans fortunately
are able to enjoy the pain but only at the level they can cope
with.
As part of this, it is always advisable for the sub to allow the
top to be able to gauge the effect he is having on the sub. This
is usually both vocally, by movements or sometimes by the way
the body is shaping and the manner in which they are breathing.
( breathing is good I have found).
I hadn't really considered my position as a top from the aspect
of responsibility, but I am very aware that after a prolonged
session, I am really knackered , while the sub is bouncing
around full of her, himself, until the endorphin's and adrenalin
cut out, then they do seem to calm down a little, bless them.
I wonder if my subs appreciate the efforts we Tops are
under........... ;)
#Post#: 50--------------------------------------------------
Re: Control/Tops/Subs....
DIR By: fenton3k
Date: August 15, 2013, 5:39 pm
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Topic started off in the Polls and got moved with original
title.
Good points you've made there Grant.
#Post#: 81--------------------------------------------------
Re: Favourite spanking impliments
DIR By: Grant Marks
Date: August 16, 2013, 2:45 pm
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Thank kind Sir. I wonder if a certain few Ladies might share
that opinion or do they think that it is just a load of, no I
wont say it, this is a nice site this is.............. :))
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