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#Post#: 10575--------------------------------------------------
Taarof
By: Alharacas Date: December 26, 2018, 5:00 am
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HTML https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taarof
Being German, I find the whole concept not just bewildering, but
actually a bit frightening.
This does not only relate to Persia/Iran, by the way. They have
their own version of Taarof in Spain. What about your country?
How do you deal with it? And is there any way of knowing whether
an offer is genuine?
#Post#: 10579--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sepideh Date: December 26, 2018, 9:03 am
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You are totally right. It's a bit frightening for foreigners and
sometimes they couldn't recognize what is Tarof and what isn't.
My friend used to travel overseas and during her journey, he
simply used Tarof and offered her water before drinking (It is a
habit in Iran that people offer what they are going to eat or
drink earlier) to a foreigner but she just received this
response : "I didn't order a water!" She was disappointed and
told me they don't even know what Tarof is ;D
Watch this video and you'll see what we Iranians experience by
Tarof every day ;D
HTML https://www.chaiandconversation.com/2012/presenting-our-video-about-tarof
#Post#: 10585--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Alharacas Date: December 26, 2018, 12:44 pm
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Thank you very much, Sepideh. Er, what happens when you've got a
building with lots of people coming and going?
Fighting over the check is what always happens after a meal with
Spanish friends. Being German and therefore completely unnerved
by this, I just used to slip out quietly during the meal and
settle the bill with the waiter beforehand - whenever I thought
it was my turn to invite everybody, that is.
#Post#: 10587--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sepideh Date: December 26, 2018, 1:31 pm
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You know, it depends on people here in Iran too. Someones use
Tarof rarely and someones use more than enough. For entering to
building someones just say sorry and go at first, someones use
the offer one time and it might be increased depending on the
type and habit of people ;D
For example, for entering to a building, if specially the person
is older than me I just use it once and offer: please go first
and if she/he refuses I just say sorry with smile on my face and
then go at first. ;D
#Post#: 10591--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sudeep Date: December 27, 2018, 2:58 am
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<quote>Taarof more often works in a totally opposite way. For
example, an absolutely desired object/person/offer may seemingly
be refused while deep inside is demanded and wished. For
instance, young Persian ladies may never express their passion
to a potential lover based on shyness and social norms; while,
they expect the person of interest remain consistent in
expressing love and posing.<quote/>
One can get easily confused with this kind of behavior ???
#Post#: 10592--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sudeep Date: December 27, 2018, 2:59 am
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[quote] Taarof more often works in a totally opposite way. For
example, an absolutely desired object/person/offer may seemingly
be refused while deep inside is demanded and wished. For
instance, young Persian ladies may never express their passion
to a potential lover based on shyness and social norms; while,
they expect the person of interest remain consistent in
expressing love and posing. [/quote]
One can get easily confused with this kind of behavior ???
#Post#: 10595--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Nikola Date: December 27, 2018, 5:12 am
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What if someone gives you a present? Can you accept it straight
away or do you say "Oh no, thank you but I can't accept this."
And the other person goes "No, no, no, I insist"?
#Post#: 10597--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sepideh Date: December 27, 2018, 9:48 am
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Nikola
It would happen but on occasions and depends on some
circumstances. But in this case happens rarely and people
usually say thank you and accept if it is usual to get the gift
from the intended person.
#Post#: 10604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Allie Date: December 28, 2018, 9:25 am
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I confess I read it but I don’t think I understand.
If I understood it partially, I think we have something
reminiscent of it.
It’s considered polite to offer something you’re eating to
people around you (even if you don’t want to share).
It’s considered polite to refuse (even if you really want it).
But we’re pretty informal so you may not count on it. The person
may actually want to share your sandwich… Or maybe you’re like
Joey (you don’t share food).
The other food situation described happens too.
If you’re “polite”, you have to say to you’re satisfied after
you’ve eaten at someone’s place.
The host will ask you to eat more before you actually do it.
Even though it’s polite to say you don’t need more food, it can
be seen as impolite not to eat seconds.
In both cases, you don’t have to insist much.
- I have this tuna sandwich. Would you like some?
- No, thanks.
- Sure?
- Sure, I am fine / Ok, just a bite
- The food was delicious! I am satisfied
- You barely ate. Please, take some more!
- I wouldn’t like to disturb
- Nah, you’re grand. Please, take it (serving more food)
But there is no number of times to refuse and you can accept
what is being offered.
- The food was delicious! Can I have more potato salad, please?
So, is it still Taarof?
(By the way, Brazil is not the best place to be a vegetarian,
which I am, so I am an expert at having none of it)
#Post#: 10611--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taarof
By: Sudeep Date: December 28, 2018, 12:27 pm
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Elf,welcome to India if you are a vegetarian ;D
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