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#Post#: 9249--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 16, 2018, 5:35 am
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@Alharacas
I really wasn’t going to tell the girl’s nationality, but after
your comment I think I have to. She is German.
I see what you’re saying, but exchanging contacts is normal. It
doesn’t have to be phone number, it can be Facebook or Instagram
and it’s about being friendly. You get someone’s contact even
though you don’t intend to keep in touch.
How direct the answer was what is somewhat shocking.
If someone asked for my contact details (I mean, not a stranger
in a pub, of course, but as in this situation where it’s a
friend from a friend, after we had done something together and
talked) I would feel extremely uncomfortable to deny.
 I
would probably just give my number (or a social network I don’t
use much) or at least come up with the lamest excuse (“er… I
don’t have a phone”)
#Post#: 9250--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Truman Overby Date: November 16, 2018, 5:35 am
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Regarding Steve's comment that law schools teach future lawyers
to dislike ambiguity in language. That much is true, but the
part that you left out is that they also are taught to muddle,
distort, contort, twist, bastardize, fold, spindle, and mutilate
language any chance they get when they believe that it will help
a client.
#Post#: 9255--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Pasha Date: November 16, 2018, 7:16 am
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Allie some people are just rude. There is nothing you can do
about that.
#Post#: 9256--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Sudeep Date: November 16, 2018, 7:37 am
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I too pretty much get confused with this two words, that's the
reason whenever someone asks me about my status, I tell them I
am an ambivert(better to say something than "I don't know" ;D).
If you consider "talking" is a parameter to define whether
someone is intro/extrovert, then it might be confusing. I had a
friend who was quite shy and didn't talk much (hate chit chat)
and everyone considered her weird. But she was not weird rather
she was in her own world where no one knew how to enter. Like
other said the "comfort zone". Whenever we talked about some
social topic or some topic of her interest, she was like
unstoppable and poured information around the world and I was
like gazing at her thinking what to speak once she stopped
talking. No one could say she was an introvert at that time.
So, I think this introvert and extrovert are the labels that we
set according to who we are comfortable talking/listening to.
Once you get to know them why they are what they are, it will be
clearer and you will realize they are as normal as we think
extroverts are.
BTW, I don't consider them extrovert who talk much, I mean boast
themselves way above their own horizon. They need their screws
tight. ;)
#Post#: 9258--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Alharacas Date: November 16, 2018, 10:59 am
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@Allie - German? What a surprise! ;D
I'd thought about it, of course, and "German" was the only
answer I could come up with.
Of course I agree, some exuse would definitely have been the
better choice, particularly under the circumstances (common
friend).
What can I say, Allie? Will you accept my apologies for my
compatriot's behaviour?
#Post#: 9280--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: SHL Date: November 16, 2018, 7:40 pm
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[quote author=Truman Overby link=topic=618.msg9250#msg9250
date=1542368154]
Regarding Steve's comment that law schools teach future lawyers
to dislike ambiguity in language. That much is true, but the
part that you left out is that they also are taught to muddle,
distort, contort, twist, bastardize, fold, spindle, and mutilate
language any chance they get when they believe that it will help
a client.
[/quote]
Jerry, well you are right. We are taught to hate ambiguity in
language, but contrariwise we are also taught to exploit it when
we encounter it in law to the advantage of our client or cause.
That`s the catch. As much as lawmakers and courts try to narrow
down meanings and words, our job is to twist it to our
advantage. And it really gets ridiculous much of the time. Like
I had a case once I settled with the other side and we agreed
neither party would get alimony in the future. Sounds simple
enough. Right. Ooooh no. WRONG. There`s about 5 appellate cases
that say if you just say alimony is terminated as to each party
that`s not enough. Why? Oh, someone will interpret „terminate“
as meaning „until one or the other gets sick in the future and
needs to go back and get it.“ It´s stupid crap like that that
drives me crazy, so we follow case law and spell it out to a T,
to be on the safe side. I once had just a clerk at court reject
a Judgment I prepared wherein alimony was terminated and I used
all the „safe“ language and she said it was no good because I
didnt use these magic words „now and forever.“ I took it back to
her and asked where in the law did it say those words were
required, where in the Rules of Court, what case ever said this,
and where such a rule in the Local Rules of Court said this. She
said she didnt know but her supervisor told her. What???? I told
her I wanted it sent to a Judge for signature immediately, that
she had no right to reject it because of this nonsense she made
up, and she did and the Judge signed it. That`s how dumb it`s
become.
That`s why you guys need lawyers for this stuff or you`ll mess
it all up. It takes years to figure out all this.
#Post#: 9297--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: NealC Date: November 17, 2018, 10:46 am
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I went to court for a custody hearing and watched the case
before me where two lawyers were divorcing each other. The fast
way to a mostly no-fault divorce in NY is allege "Constructive
Abandonment", which basically means your spouse hasn't had sex
with you for a year.
So the wife had her lawyer question her before the judge and she
testified that she begged her husband for a year, and he would
not have sex with her despite her impassioned pleas. The wife
was a rather attractive woman and no one in the court believed a
word she said - what red-blooded male would resist her for a
whole year?
But she said the magic words, covered all the legal bases, and
got her case settled fast. It is all in the magic words.
4 lawyers on one case, what a sh*t show.
#Post#: 9302--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: SHL Date: November 17, 2018, 2:20 pm
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Neal,
Why would there be 4 lawyers on a case like that? What, was one
a witness???
See, there`s an example of a really stupid law. Define „having
sex“. What does THAT really mean? It can mean a myriad of
things. (I won`t get into the minutiae out of respect for the
ladies here- I`m a gentleman (It`s all that British /Irish
ancestry I guess) but you know what I mean.
We don`t have any such a dumb rule in CA. You could run a Mack
truck though a law like that for the reasons I mentioned.
#Post#: 9304--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: SHL Date: November 17, 2018, 2:23 pm
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Getting back to the introvert /extrovert issue, I frankly
believe it is BS- high school psychology class for 15 year olds
or 1950s era psychology. So it means nothing of any usefulness.
#Post#: 9314--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Susan Date: November 17, 2018, 5:03 pm
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I agree with Marmolada that there is a biological basis to any
real concept of extroversion. There is a researcher that can
predict, to a significant level whether a baby at the age of
four months will be an extrovert or an introvert. The babies
that react more to such stimulation such as a swab of alcohol
passed under their nose become introverts, those that react less
become extroverts. Our nervious system has an optimum level of
stimulation which can be biologically different for different
people. Biological introverts find the same stimulation more
stimulating than others, and interacting with people is very
stimulating, especially interacting with people we do not know
well and interacting in groups of people. Introverts generally
prefer interacting with fewer people at a time and can be
overstimulated by interaction with people they do not know well
and thus often either avoid the larger louder parties or prefer
not to stay as long. Inroverts can be quite social, but
generally need some time to recharge in situations of lower
stimulation.
The problem is that the way people generally define
extroversion-- for example who likes to talk and who doesn´t is
counfounded by so many things. There are people who are shy but
not introverted. There are people who are more sensitive to
others emotions. Different levels of empathy. Also, I agree
there is some impact by your comfort level-- how you were
raised.
True introversion/extroversion is on a bell shaped curve, that
is why the definition ¨ambivert¨ fits so well for so many
people. For many people who are not on the extreme ends of the
bell shaped curve, what Pasha said makes senses: there social
interaction is highly influenced by the however they were raised
and what comfort zone they were accustomed to. And if there are
problems affecting stimulation, like hearing loss, for example,
that can also make someone act differently. When we are sick
our optimal level of stimulation is lowered, so that is a time
when some extroverts experience more what it is like to be an
introvert-- they might like being with people but do not want
all the stimulation.
Marmolada probably is not in the center of the bell-shaped curve
from her description. I am definitively on the introverted side,
but it is a little complicated because of my upbringing which
was not socially typical. My parents were both quite
introverted, my mother was almost deaf, and my childhood home
was almost silent compared to many.
What was this about Norwegians? Is that a cultural stereotype?
It made me curious if there is also more of a cultural aspect to
this than I realized. (My parents both came from an ethnic
Scandinavian community-- four of my great-grand-parents were
Norwegian and three were Swedish. Perhaps there was more of a
cultural component to how quiet my family was. I thought it was
just a coincidence related to my parents.)
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