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#Post#: 9210--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Truman Overby Date: November 15, 2018, 10:58 am
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[quote author=Allie link=topic=618.msg9209#msg9209
date=1542291665]
(By the way, do you relate to the video? :p )
[/quote]
I'm not one of those extroverts, Allie. :P That type is just
plain obnoxious. I'd call that personality a narcissist. ::)
#Post#: 9213--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Alharacas Date: November 15, 2018, 11:33 am
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[quote author=Allie link=topic=618.msg9209#msg9209
date=1542291665]
@Alharacas
I also like the fact you take culture in consideration. I’ve
seen and hear about many examples of it.
(Everyone is interested in you what you have to say because
you're intelligent, kind and have a great - and clever - sense
of humour)
[/quote]
Ooh! Allie, do tell us about some of these examples, will you?
Pretty please?
As to the rest of your kind words: thank you so much!
Unfortunately, being German means I'm just as bad at accepting
compliments as I am at making small talk. (goes beet-red and
pulls out handkerchief)
#Post#: 9216--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 12:57 pm
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@Alharacas
I was a little bit reluctant to post examples because I didn’t
want to generalize nationalities, so I will just mention two
ones that I can speak for.
I saw the story of a Brazilian girl who met a European girl (I
won’t say the country) through a mutual friend, but they didn’t
get along.
After going out together, they took the train to go home and the
mutual friend was the first to leave. The Brazilian girl felt an
obligation to be nice and friendly to the other girl and they
talked during the rest of the trip. When they had to say
goodbye, the Brazilian tried to exchange numbers to keep contact
(as we normally do), only to receive an answer along the lines
of “Look, we have a friend in common and we talked, but we’re
not friends and I don’t think we have to keep in touch.”
(Is it normal? For us, it’s brutal)
Another example I can give is personal. As you probably know, I
am part Norwegian, which means that even though I was not raised
there or speak the language, some things were preserved in spite
of the distance and time. It could have been the blue eyes or
the skiing skills, but what remained was the “social
awkwardness”.
Norwegian people are known to be cold, reserved and etc (unless
they are drinking) and I learned to keep my distance at home…
I feel embarrassed to greet people, afraid I may be disturbing
something, so getting even a “hi” from me is a bit of deal.
Can you imagine being like that when you were raised in a place
where people greet you (sometimes) with three kisses, a hug and
pat on the back? Or give you nicknames even though you’ve barely
met? Or talk to you while touching you?
#Post#: 9217--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 12:58 pm
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[quote author=Alharacas link=topic=618.msg9213#msg9213
date=1542303199]
As to the rest of your kind words: thank you so much!
Unfortunately, being German means I'm just as bad at accepting
compliments as I am at making small talk. (goes beet-red and
pulls out handkerchief)
[/quote]
We have two options here
1 - You take my compliments now
2 - I will keep making them until you decide to accept them
It's up to you!
(By the way, did I ever tell you you have a nice voice and a
beautiful accent?)
#Post#: 9222--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Nikola Date: November 15, 2018, 2:22 pm
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@Allie
That's a very interesting culture mix (and culture clash). So
how do you know if someone from Norway is an extrovert? Only
after a few shots? Or do they all go from introvert to extrovert
once they've had something to drink?
I think I'm more of an introvert myself. The stimulation
threshold theory makes a lot of sense, although I get very
sociable around the right people. It's just around those who
talk about things I have nothing to say about (celebrities, soap
operas etc.) I can be completely quiet, just like the guy in
that video. I don't stare though.
#Post#: 9224--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: the lost minion Date: November 15, 2018, 2:46 pm
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[quote author=Nikola link=topic=618.msg9222#msg9222
date=1542313334]
So how do you know if someone from Norway is an extrovert?
[/quote]
Norwegian introverts talk to people staring at their own shoes.
Norwegian extroverts stare at the shoes of the person they talk
to. This is how you tell the difference in normal circumstances.
#Post#: 9227--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Alharacas Date: November 15, 2018, 3:23 pm
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@Alllie - I'lltakethemI'lltakethem, anythinganything, okay?
Thanks. Thanks!
And, um, Allie? (shifts around uncomfortably) Why, er, would you
want to have somebody's phone number if you didn't get on with
them? Or give them yours? A German mobile phone number is
something private. Quite intensely so. My friends have mine, I
have theirs. I also have my plumber's, my chimney sweep's and my
mother's cardiologist's. And I count myself really lucky to have
been given those. It means they know I won't call them unless
something positively life-threatening is happening. My best
friend, on the other hand, doesn't have her sister's number.
#Post#: 9239--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: SHL Date: November 15, 2018, 10:57 pm
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[quote author=Pasha link=topic=618.msg9202#msg9202
date=1542286484]
I think all that intro- extrovert stuff is all BS. I think it is
all about social skills and comfort zone. If you used to spend
all time alone with yourself it will became your comfort zone
and if you had some social skills they will atrophied and it is
going to be harder to approach other people or keep conversation
because you have to get out of your comfort zone. But then you
are getting used to spend time with other people and after some
time being with people becomes your new comfort zone.
[/quote]
I have to agree with Pasha on this one. I`ve never even really
understood what the words, „introvert“ and „extrovert“ mean in
any concrete sense. I only understand them in that general sense
that the introvert is happy being alone, rather quiet and
withdrawn and the extrovert is the opposite. But, when I hear
those words, I just wonder, „yeah, so what?“ Maybe it`s just the
legal training and all, because I think those terms are
ambiguous and we are taught in law school to hate ambiguity in
language. Law school is not about learning, for instance, rules
and laws, as much as training your mind to think (at least in
the US) in a certain way and to put strict definitions on
language. After all, that`s what gets people into trouble a lot:
ambiguity in their use of language because it leads to
miscommunication and trouble down the line.
I like Alharacas`sliding scale idea, because that helps resolve
the ambiguity somewhat. These terms are supposed to be polar
opposite of some character traits, so putting them on a scale
makes sense. Besides, whatever they really mean (they sound like
1950s era psychology terms to me), most people probably fall in
the middle somewhere anyway. And like Pasha said, your comfort
zone can change all the time.
I also like Alharacas`cultural anecdote too. Americans are known
for being a bit overly friendly, in an almost childlike way. The
Brits on the other hand are normally quite the opposite
(although I`ve never had any trouble making friends with them,
but then that´s because I probably lean more toward the
introverted end of the spectrum.) I don`t mind being alone, and
really don`t need other people to entertain me. Like Pasha
mentioned, it`s probably just a facet of being socially
conditioned to be like that.
I`m also sure you can be socially conditioned to be the life of
the party and constantly be needing the attention of others
(what I suppose people mean by „extrovert“), but I don`t think
that makes the person stronger or better than the introvert, but
for some reason most of us have been taught that the extrovert
is the strong one and the introvert the weaker one. I think
that is BS.
#Post#: 9247--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Pasha Date: November 16, 2018, 3:37 am
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[quote author=Pasha link=topic=618.msg9202#msg9202
date=1542286484]
It's neurological. It's about the stimulation threshold. I don't
feel like looking it up right now - maybe someone more
qualified, like Susan, will - but I can translate what I read
yesterday:
The context is the Yerkes-Dawson law that describes how arousal
influences learning. "Introverts are naturally more aroused, so
they need less external stimuli to achieve the optimal
effectiveness." It's from Manfred Spizer's book about how brain
learns.
The point is - clearly it is not about a habit you develop. It's
the other way round - you avoid the stimuli that you cannot take
and develop your habits accordingly.
[/quote]
Yeah I got it there is a lot of nerdy psychological science
behind that. I tend to think that brain is not a rigid thing. On
that extra-introvert scale Alharacas mentioned you gradually
shift towards one end of that scale or other overtime. Today
you are an introvert 20 years later you could be an extravert.
#Post#: 9248--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: the lost minion Date: November 16, 2018, 4:25 am
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[quote author=Pasha link=topic=618.msg9247#msg9247
date=1542361035]
Yeah I got it there is a lot of nerdy psychological science
behind that. I tend to think that brain is not a rigid thing. On
that extra-introvert scale Alharacas mentioned you gradually
shift towards one end of that scale or other overtime. Today
you are an introvert 20 years later you could be an extravert.
[/quote]
Then I guess you need to make up your mind: it's either BS and
then why bother discussing it OR it's not BS. I don't know how
far you can shift on a scale and I doubt you can go from one
extreme to the other, but to comment on this scale thing - show
me one human trait that is described as binary and not scalar.
Of course, it's not all or nothing. What does that prove? That
introversion/extraversion doesn't exist? No.
Of course there is neuroplasticity - brain changes as you learn
new things, new skills - social skills as well. If you are an
introvert who has to deal with people, you'll eventually come up
with some tricks that will let you do that and maybe even come
across as more extrovert. I'm not so sure, however, that this
will turn you into an extrovert.
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