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#Post#: 9198--------------------------------------------------
Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 5:02 am
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As an introvert myself, I clearly understand the struggle. If
you want to understand more, please check it out:
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tLSewjqj84
If you are an extrovert, though, here the video for you
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js1N-_7FLWY
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
#Post#: 9199--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: the lost minion Date: November 15, 2018, 6:29 am
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Hm... I'm happy when a long-scheduled meeting with a friend gets
cancelled; I call in sick for my friend's wedding despite being
perfectly healthy; I don't invite anyone nor organize a wedding
for myself because I hate the sheer thought of it; I limit any
interactions when I have to move around people (running
errands); I don't get into chit-chats and if I do, the other
person is likely to get scared because I would make all sorts of
inappropriate remarks (but hey, at least I'm not boring); and I
don't keep eye contact when I try to say something meaningful
(because it would distract me). And I'm not shy - I'm pretty
effective when I have to get something done and I need people's
help for it. I guess I'm an introvert.
But I don't mind being around extroverts - as long as they keep
quiet or talk to someone else in another room.
#Post#: 9201--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Truman Overby Date: November 15, 2018, 6:49 am
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[quote author=Marmolada link=topic=618.msg9199#msg9199
date=1542284944]
Hm... I'm happy when a long-scheduled meeting with a friend gets
cancelled; I call in sick for my friend's wedding despite being
perfectly healthy; I don't invite anyone nor organize a wedding
for myself because I hate the sheer thought of it; I limit any
interactions when I have to move around people (running
errands); I don't get into chit-chats and if I do, the other
person is likely to get scared because I would make all sorts of
inappropriate remarks (but hey, at least I'm not boring); and I
don't keep eye contact when I try to say something meaningful
(because it would distract me). And I'm not shy - I'm pretty
effective when I have to get something done and I need people's
help for it. I guess I'm an introvert.
But I don't mind being around extroverts - as long as they keep
quiet or talk to someone else in another room.
[/quote]
Gryz, I always find it fascinating that extreme introverts like
yourself are very, very outgoing and expressive when you can be
anonymous. I'm speaking of forums like this, of course.
#Post#: 9202--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Pasha Date: November 15, 2018, 6:54 am
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I think all that intro- extrovert stuff is all BS. I think it is
all about social skills and comfort zone. If you used to spend
all time alone with yourself it will became your comfort zone
and if you had some social skills they will atrophied and it is
going to be harder to approach other people or keep conversation
because you have to get out of your comfort zone. But then you
are getting used to spend time with other people and after some
time being with people becomes your new comfort zone.
#Post#: 9203--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 7:09 am
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@Grzy
I didn’t expect you to be any different…
Anyway, I don’t mind being around extroverts. I actually like
it. They do the talking.
@Pasha, I see what you’re saying but I disagree.
I think it applies to shy people, maybe.
Those who think that it’s hard to approach people, but actually
may enjoy it and can grow accustomed to it.
Introverts are people that don’t necessarily have this kind of
problem (see Gryzbek’s comment for instance), but still they
prefer being by themselves.
#Post#: 9204--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 7:20 am
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By the way, I know this guy and I always thought he was an
extrovert.
Talking to people is no problem to him, nor talking in public.
He talks even to strangers… in the streets!
People notice his presences wherever he goes, he talks about
everything, is an expert in making people laugh, etc.
Clear extrovert, right?
Then I looked closer and noticed that when he is not naturally
surrounded by people (such as at work for example), he spends
much of his time alone, doing things such as reading and
watching films.
He has no problem going out when he has to, but if he can avoid,
he will and actually does it pretty often, he tries to spend his
lunch time alone and is hardly ever seen at happy hours…
I think he’s an introvert in disguise!
But you wouldn’t notice at first. No awkward silences, psycho
looks or the things in the video.
#Post#: 9206--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Truman Overby Date: November 15, 2018, 7:32 am
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Allie, as an extrovert { At least people tell me that I am ;D
}I can relate to the guy you described. We need down-time, if
you will, just not as much of it as introverts.
#Post#: 9207--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Alharacas Date: November 15, 2018, 7:33 am
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Most boring part of my answer first: I once read somewhere that
introverts and extroverts are both just at the opposite ends of
a sliding scale, with most people being somewhere in the middle.
Made a lot of sense to me.
Nor sure where exactly I'd be located on that scale. See me with
one or two good friends of mine, and you'd be sure I was an
extrovert - talking 19 to the dozen, happy, laughing. Put me
among strangers at whatever kind of social gathering, for never
mind how many hours, and in all likelihood I'll leave without
having said a word to anyone - I always feel nobody's going to
be interested in what I might have to say, am terribly
self-conscious, and also tend to put my foot in my mouth if I do
manage to get something out.
That said, it's also a cultural thing. Mildly interesting
anecdote: was staying at a hotel once with my very well brought
up friend from New York, M. At breakfast, we shared a table with
two also very well brought up British women. M. did her best to
keep some small talk going, in spite of the British women's
reluctance. Had they ever been to Amsterdam before? Were they
going to stay long? etc., etc. After breakfast, M. commented to
me "They seem nice, don't they? But my goodness, it IS hard
going, trying to talk to them, isn't it?"
In the evening, we ran into these 2 women in a bar. Same
scenario, with M. greeting them like long-lost best friends, and
the 2 women trying to melt into the bar. At some point, M.
excused herself for a moment. After a small silence, one of the
women said to me: "Your friend seems really nice. But heavens,
she does talk rather a LOT, doesn't she?"
#Post#: 9208--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: the lost minion Date: November 15, 2018, 7:39 am
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[quote author=Truman Overby link=topic=618.msg9201#msg9201
date=1542286198]
Gryz, I always find it fascinating that extreme introverts like
yourself are very, very outgoing and expressive when you can be
anonymous. I'm speaking of forums like this, of course.
[/quote]
Being anonymous is not as important for me. I used to have a FB
account for a couple of months (this is how I know how much it
sucks) and I was more or less the same. The problem is other
people are not. They are so full of shit, it's just painful.
I am also like that when I am with people who understand me.
There are not so many people who do - you need a certain amount
of openness to take what is not normal. Don't get me wrong -
most people are very tolerant. You only need to be just like
them. That's the only condition.
[quote author=Pasha link=topic=618.msg9202#msg9202
date=1542286484]
I think all that intro- extrovert stuff is all BS. I think it is
all about social skills and comfort zone.
[/quote]
It's neurological. It's about the stimulation threshold. I don't
feel like looking it up right now - maybe someone more
qualified, like Susan, will - but I can translate what I read
yesterday:
The context is the Yerkes-Dawson law that describes how arousal
influences learning. "Introverts are naturally more aroused, so
they need less external stimuli to achieve the optimal
effectiveness." It's from Manfred Spizer's book about how brain
learns.
The point is - clearly it is not about a habit you develop. It's
the other way round - you avoid the stimuli that you cannot take
and develop your habits accordingly.
#Post#: 9209--------------------------------------------------
Re: Introvert or extrovert?
By: Allie Date: November 15, 2018, 8:21 am
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@Alharacas
I think the spectrum makes a lot of sense. It’s complicated (und
unfair) to put people in boxes A and B.
I also like the fact you take culture in consideration. I’ve
seen and hear about many examples of it.
(Everyone is interested in you what you have to say because
you're intelligent, kind and have a great - and clever - sense
of humour)
@Jerry
Thanks for your comment.
This guy puzzled me and I was not sure if he was an introvert in
disguise, a mix of the two or an extrovert.
Maybe he is (mainly) an extrovert after all.
(By the way, do you relate to the video? :p )
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