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#Post#: 19029--------------------------------------------------
Unexpected Visitors
By: Nikola Date: August 9, 2019, 4:22 am
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Is it considered rude in your culture to pay someone an
unexpected visit?
I'm asking because this is very individual in my country. Some
people are very laid-back and do this on a regular basis. On a
good day they will check if it's OK to pop round when they're 10
minutes away and they don't mind if you do the same to them. It
can be a bit awkward because the hospitality standards are quite
high here and you would usually offer visitors something to eat
and drink, ideally something homemade, not just a cup of tea and
biscuits. I have a friend who's extremely laid-back and he gets
lots of unexpected visitors so he's always prepared for them. He
has beer in the fridge and food like mozzarella, tomatoes,
olives, snacks etc. It also means that if you arrange to meet
him, any number of people you know or don't know might turn up
at the same time.
I am not this spontaneous myself and I think that the majority
of people I know tend to let others know in advance (a day or
two) but it might also be a clever strategy because there is a
higher chance of being offered something freshly cooked or baked
:)
#Post#: 19031--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Aliph Date: August 9, 2019, 6:00 am
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I really think it depends on the age of the people and their
working status. When I was a student living in a tiny bedroom in
a shared apartment in the middle of town, we had constantly
people dropping by. Afterwards with full time professional life
spontaneity got lost.
On Saturdays people are busy fulling up their fridges, going to
the market, the gym, museums, movie theaters or whatsoever and
on Sundays there are outdoor activities or just relaxing at
home. So I wouldn’t simply drop by, I usually know the habits of
my friends and phone before (a bit more then 10 Minutes).
We have more or less formal invitations for dinner on weekends
and the expectations are fairly high. That means a lot of work
and the occasion to try new recipes. As a rule I only invite
people that I like. No business dinners anymore.
#Post#: 19253--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Chizuko hanji Date: August 23, 2019, 5:16 pm
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Nikola, I wish I were the laid -back person like your friend. In
Japan, it is not polite if you drop by without a calling before.
Big dinner or small depends on the people. General speaking,
Japanese houses are small, so most people don't like to be
bothered by visitors even though the Japanese have good
hospitality.
Why do I want to be the laid-back person? Because it sounds like
children habits. Children don't care about appointments and
visit their friends anytime. They mostly enjoy hanging around
and if they get pizza, it would be the happiest moment ever!
Adults have parties with invitations and they sometimes complain
about the food after finishing.
#Post#: 19254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Nikola Date: August 24, 2019, 4:47 am
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Chizuko, have you been reading The Little Prince by any chance?
:D
I forgot how small Japanese houses are. Is it more common to go
out to socialise? I remember seeing large groups of people at
the park under the sakura trees having picnic on a blanket. It
looked like a nice thing to do.
#Post#: 19256--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Allie Date: August 24, 2019, 5:09 am
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I think common sense states that you should not pop up at
someone’s place without an invitation or at least telling your
host in advance.
Having said that, I know it happens.
I think it depends on proximity. Family members and close
friends do it all the time.
A friend of mine who happened to be my neighbour would spend a
lot of time at my place. Considering my cooking skills, I hardly
ever had anything ready, but she loved cooking at my kitchen and
sometimes she’d call me asking if she could come over and bake a
cake (actually, people seem to like to cook for me, but that’s
another story).
I don’t have much experience as a hostess, but traditionally, we
tend to be laid back when it comes to visitors. Serving coffee
is the norm. If you have some fresh made cake or pão de queijo,
the better, but biscuits will do.
If you invite someone over, it’s hardly ever for dinner. It’s
usually for lunch. In the ideal scenario, it’d involve barbecue,
music and chat till the evening.
“Dinner” makes me think of wine, good silverware and china,
fabric napkins… It’s not that I have anything against it, but
it’s somewhat formal and I as I said before, we’re laid back by
nature. I don’t think anyone in my generation would see anything
wrong at having people over and ordering some pizza, for
example.
Living in another country, I tend to show some sympathy to
compatriots, so sometimes I have unexpected guests… we may be
talking and then they come over for lunch or they end up
crashing here.
I just would like to make sure that this informality should not
misunderstood by carelessness. If there’s something good I can
say about my compatriots is that they are extremely welcoming.
They may not have the best things to offer, but they will make
sure to offer you the best inside their possibilities. If you
visit someone and it’s late, they will offer you to stay so you
don’t have to go home late at night and they will insist that
you sleep at the main bed (whereas they will sleep at the couch
or even the floor). Sometimes you visit extremely simple
households, but they treat you like a king and you can see how
much effort they put into it.
I’ve just come back from holidays there and I couldn’t help but
be shocked with all the gentleness and hospitality that was
shown towards me during my stay.
#Post#: 19257--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Chizuko hanji Date: August 24, 2019, 8:17 am
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Nikola.
Yes, the little prince taught me what is essential and
happiness. ;)
Japanese people really don't have habits of home parties with
people except for families. We fond of eating out to entertain
friends.
We think of hospitality seriously when we invite someone to our
houses and care about food, clean room, atmosphere and so on. It
often pressures to the host, then, we are likely to go to the
restaurant.
#Post#: 19259--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Nikola Date: August 24, 2019, 10:50 am
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[quote author=Human Being link=topic=1322.msg19256#msg19256
date=1566641380]
I just would like to make sure that this informality should not
misunderstood by carelessness. If there’s something good I can
say about my compatriots is that they are extremely welcoming.
They may not have the best things to offer, but they will make
sure to offer you the best inside their possibilities. If you
visit someone and it’s late, they will offer you to stay so you
don’t have to go home late at night and they will insist that
you sleep at the main bed (whereas they will sleep at the couch
or even the floor). Sometimes you visit extremely simple
households, but they treat you like a king and you can see how
much effort they put into it.
I’ve just come back from holidays there and I couldn’t help but
be shocked with all the gentleness and hospitality that was
shown towards me during my stay.
[/quote]
I heard the same from someone else. The friend I mentioned in my
post has a Bolivian partner and lots of Latin American friends.
He told me that it's not unusual for people there to empty the
entire fridge for you and let you choose what you want to eat.
And as you say, some of them don't have much money, it's pretty
amazing. I've heard stories about stingy hosts in some of the
richer parts of Europe, offering guests a single biscuit out of
a biscuit tin and putting the tin away immediately so they
couldn't have another one ;D
#Post#: 19262--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: NealC Date: August 24, 2019, 2:16 pm
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Ahem (Germany) cough
#Post#: 19266--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unexpected Visitors
By: Nikola Date: August 24, 2019, 2:27 pm
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Shush, it wasn't Germany :D
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