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#Post#: 18926--------------------------------------------------
Male - Female relations. Where is the limit between what's appro
priate and what is not...?
By: MartinSR Date: August 5, 2019, 9:58 am
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After reading a few of the last discussions, especially this
posted by @Sepideh about girl's possibilities of self-defence
and this by @SHL commenting the beauty of an stewardess, I came
to the conclusion that the border between the appropriate and
inappropriate behaviour may depend on the culture of the
community.
I don't want to defend men doing sometimes disgusting things.
And I don't want to discuss here obvious things like sexual
assaults, touching someone's private parts, verbal aggression
and so on...
I want to direct my question to the female members of this
forum. What will you expect from the man met on the street and
what behaviour would you consider at least inappropriate one?
To be more specific... you probably know there are many patterns
of our (men's) behaviour. There are men who will embrace the
woman they met for the first time (let's say just introduced by
a friend of both) and kiss her both cheeks. On the other hand
there are men who will not even shake hands with a wife or
girlfriend of their male friends, even though they know each
other for a long time.
So what kind of behaviour would you expect:
- from a man you met the first time (at work, at the party, ...)
- from your colleague at work/school
- from your friend (close or more distant)
- from your relative (close or distant).
Would you accept a compliment about the way you look like from a
stranger/friend?
#Post#: 18931--------------------------------------------------
Re: Male - Female relations. Where is the limit between what's a
ppropriate and what is not...?
By: SHL Date: August 5, 2019, 10:18 am
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MartinSR,
I do handshakes. Very polite and formal. Ok, my eyes might look
a bit too long at a pretty female stewardess but what’s wrong
with that?
The eyes cannot trespass, as we say.
#Post#: 18934--------------------------------------------------
Re: Male - Female relations. Where is the limit between what's a
ppropriate and what is not...?
By: MartinSR Date: August 5, 2019, 10:34 am
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[quote author=SHL link=topic=1306.msg18931#msg18931
date=1565018287]
MartinSR,
I do handshakes. Very polite and formal. Ok, my eyes might look
a bit too long at a pretty female stewardess but what’s wrong
with that?
The eyes cannot trespass, as we say.
[/quote]
I agree that handshake seems to be the safest option. But I
already was in situations feeling a little bit more was
expected. On the other hand theoretically the woman is the side
allowed to initiate a handshake (at least I was taught that at
school), but sometimes she doesn't (usually when I'm a bit
older, but not so much, and I'm not her boss, teacher or sth
like that)... and a short embarrassing pause occurs.
And what to do in a different country, with different culture.
I usually start with shaking my head, lowering it in respect.
Sometimes smile... but I heard the smile can be considered too
informal in certain communities.
#Post#: 18955--------------------------------------------------
Re: Male - Female relations. Where is the limit between what's a
ppropriate and what is not...?
By: Nikola Date: August 5, 2019, 4:03 pm
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1. A man I met for the first time - a handshake as you introduce
yourselves.
2. A colleague. This is tricky because I don't think I would hug
my colleagues if I worked in an office but because of the nature
of the job I used to do (stressful situations, occasional
violence and medical emergencies), people who felt they could
rely on each other would hug and not just at the end of the
school year, sometimes even throughout the day.
3. A friend - I hug some of my friends and I just say "hi" to
those who don't like being touched.
4. A relative - We don't hug in our family. I am actually more
likely to hug someone not so closely related than my parents.
I don't mind compliments from strangers but they do make me
wonder what that person wants. My friends usually really mean it
when they say something so I then either say "thank you" (I was
told this was an appropriate response) or explain to them why
they're wrong (I was told I should be doing less of this).
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