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#Post#: 18816--------------------------------------------------
Online Friendships
By: Nikola Date: August 2, 2019, 8:24 am
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This might be one of the things only I get paranoid about so
feel free to tell me I am weird or overly attached to people
I've never met in real life but I can't help thinking: what if
something happens to someone you talk to online and you don't
have any shared friends, you don't know each other's family,
where they live, nothing? They'll just disappear from your life,
right?
I know it's the internet, people come and go, that's how it
works, but have you ever met anyone you cared for enough to put
some extra thought into this and establish some... how to say
it... additional contact network? I'm not on Facebook, although
I'm not sure if that would help in any way. I mean, what happens
with people's accounts when they die? I don't suppose anyone
from the family gets access to them, do they?
#Post#: 18818--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: NealC Date: August 2, 2019, 8:34 am
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My kids have some rudimentary instructions about my online
friends/acquaintances. But feel free to give each other more
contact info (probably best done in PM) if you feel comfortable
doing it.
#Post#: 18822--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Nikola Date: August 2, 2019, 9:09 am
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[quote author=NealC link=topic=1294.msg18818#msg18818
date=1564752846]
My kids have some rudimentary instructions about my online
friends/acquaintances. But feel free to give each other more
contact info (probably best done in PM) if you feel comfortable
doing it.
[/quote]
Good idea. I just can't think of anyone on my side who would be
a good candidate because they'd have to be close enough and
speak English. I'll think about it. I once had a communication
channel established between London and Prague but I was never
too sure it would actually work.
#Post#: 18823--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Allie Date: August 2, 2019, 11:01 am
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I am enjoying today's questions.
Good one, Nikola.
I think internet makes way easier not to lose touch.
If someone wants to disappear, online or not, they just do. If
someone cares, usually there's a way.
You lived abroad. Didn't you have "friends" or ex colleagues who
would completely disappear only to come back when you landed
wanting chocolate or a place to crash for their next trip?
On the internet, if you connect to someone, it's normal to
exchange more intimate contact information.
As Neal suggested, we hang out here, but if you talk regularly
to someone you can give them your email/Skype and even Whatsapp
number.
Before Livemocha closed, I exchanged email/Skype with some
closer members.
It's important to notice some people don't want to be found.
I blocked people I met online. They seemed nice at first, but
turned out to be inconvenient or just plain @$$holes via PM.
Some Evengreener members have (or used to have) my Skype. One of
them is blocked as I don't talk to said member here either and
have no intention of doing so.
Of course, there's always another way.
You can ask Alharacas. I think she was the one who found Coligno
when he went missing (but I can be mistaken)
#Post#: 18825--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Nikola Date: August 2, 2019, 11:22 am
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@Human Being
It may sound weird but I don't think I've ever lost touch with
anyone unless I wanted to. I have friends but I don't really
have "friends" as you describe them. I'm still in touch with
people I met abroad and I visit them and we talk through
WhatsApp from time to time. I usually know whom I want in my
permanent collection :)
What you're talking about is keeping in touch. That's not a
problem. You can exchange Skype IDs etc. but what if something
happens to one of you? The family won't be logging into the
Skype account to let people know what happened and they probably
won't even think to do so because they'll be affected by what
happened, and telling random strangers on the internet wouldn't
be the first (or second or third) thing on their agenda.
I didn't know Coligno had gone missing. I'm still wondering what
happened to Terecia because she hasn't been online here or on
italki for 3 months now. I messaged her a while ago but haven't
heard back.
#Post#: 18826--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Allie Date: August 2, 2019, 11:29 am
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It was at the beginning of Evengreener, during April's Purge
when lots of users disappeared.
Coligno was one of them and no one knew how to contact him, but
then he was found. I just don't remember exactly who found him,
but even a Discussion was created on Italki as an attempt to
reach him.
#Post#: 18828--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: SHL Date: August 2, 2019, 12:27 pm
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[quote author=Nikola link=topic=1294.msg18816#msg18816
date=1564752251]
This might be one of the things only I get paranoid about so
feel free to tell me I am weird or overly attached to people
I've never met in real life but I can't help thinking: what if
something happens to someone you talk to online and you don't
have any shared friends, you don't know each other's family,
where they live, nothing? They'll just disappear from your life,
right?
I know it's the internet, people come and go, that's how it
works, but have you ever met anyone you cared for enough to put
some extra thought into this and establish some... how to say
it... additional contact network? I'm not on Facebook, although
I'm not sure if that would help in any way. I mean, what happens
with people's accounts when they die? I don't suppose anyone
from the family gets access to them, do they?
[/quote]
I only know how Facebook operates. I had a person I knew
personally who was also a Facebook friend. I had known the guy
since 2008, but lost close contact over the last 4 years or so,
but remained a Facebook friend (I never thought much of Facebook
frankly).
Last October I got a text from a mutual friend I hadn’t heard
from in years saying „So sorry to hear about so-and-so. I know
you were close.“ Well, we really weren’t that close, but I asked
what he was talking about. The guy said this fellow died
suddenly early one morning of a heart attack at age 54 a few
days prior. Of course, several posts went on his Facebook page
mourning his loss. Then the family held a memorial a few weeks
later.
Just this year on his birthday in April, 6 months after he died,
someone wrote in a „Happy Birthday“ to him. I posted a note that
the guy has passed away. The other guy said, „oh, I know. I was
at the memorial.“
I thought it was fairly strange to post a happy birthday for a
dead person. But the guy‘s Facebook page stayed up. So I email
Facebook to notify them of the death, and they wrote back and
said that he had opted for their „memorial“ service, as opposed
to removing the page. So, now his Facebook page just says, „In
Memorial to.....“
It seemed kind of strange and new to me for Facebook not to just
delete the page.
I don’t know if the family has access to the facebook page, but
it seems Facebook goes out of its way not to lose anyone. Seems
weird to me.
What was especially eerie was looking back at an old Instant
Message exchange I had with him in July 2018, 3 months before he
died, when I was in Germany. He said, he was 2 years older than
his dad when his dad had his first heart attack (but survived)
and two years younger than his grandfather when his grandfather
has his heart attack and died of it.
#Post#: 18830--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Sepideh Date: August 2, 2019, 1:07 pm
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SHL, I was exactly thinking of that but had no idea what would
happen!
#Post#: 18831--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: Allie Date: August 2, 2019, 2:29 pm
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I find this kind of thing puzzling.
I don't understand why people post things on the pages of people
who passed away (especially when they were not particularly
close in living)
I had no idea about the Memorial thing and not deactivating the
account. Eerie indeed.
#Post#: 18833--------------------------------------------------
Re: Online Friendships
By: SHL Date: August 2, 2019, 2:44 pm
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[quote author=Human Being link=topic=1294.msg18831#msg18831
date=1564774166]
I find this kind of thing puzzling.
I don't understand why people post things on the pages of people
who passed away (especially when they were not particularly
close in living)
I had no idea about the Memorial thing and not deactivating the
account. Eerie indeed.
[/quote]
I agree it is weird. I never understood it.
This guy still gets posts like „hope you’re enjoying your new
life on the other side.“
I wondering, what???
Facebook will do everything to keep you on their site.
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