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#Post#: 16894--------------------------------------------------
Small talk in the public transport
By: MartinSR Date: June 15, 2019, 4:56 am
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It's just an easy weekend topic. Maybe someone would like to
share the opinion about the role of the small talk in public
transport.
HTML https://www.instagram.com/tv/ByuUkcGHRsg/?igshid=1m2kd4fz3a3nk
Do you (occasionally / regularly) use the public transport? Do
you like to talk to other people on the trip, or you prefer to
remain silent? Does it bother you when the people around you are
talking to each other? What's your opinion about receiving phone
calls in the bus or train?
(Maybe this topic is more suitable for It..ki discussion board,
but... you may just ignore it).
#Post#: 16896--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: Aliph Date: June 15, 2019, 5:37 am
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This topic reminds me of my grandma. When she came to visit us
and we asked how her journey by train was, she answered
according to the fact if she had had a good conversation with
some fellow traveler.
As myself, I take public transports several times in a month.
Nobody talks to fellow travelers. They all yell in their
cellphone. I hate all those (I must admit they are all
foreigners, mostly south American women but there are also some
Slavic speaking females) people who sit beside me and impose me
their talking and yelling, close to my ear. I hate those phone
companies who offer cheap phone rates for international calls.
So I ended up walking instead from my office back home, it is
more relaxing.
Another thing that drives me nuts, are people who enter the same
elevator in a tall building without saying hello. I love
Americans since they always do some small talk in elevators in
hotels. On the contrary I do not like Chinese tourists, they
give you the impression that you are transparent, non existing.
I see that my comment is full of references to different ethnic
groups, I have some friends who would scold me and tell me that
I should be more politically correct.
#Post#: 16897--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: NealC Date: June 15, 2019, 6:57 am
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I don't think you are being politically incorrect on this Sofia.
How to act in public, how to interact with strangers, what to
do in public transport or in an elevator - what can be more
culturally determined than that?
How they are acting on the bus, how you feel about how they are
acting is almost entirely cultural. I am sure the South
American ladies would be shocked you thought they were being
rude - everyone does that from where they are from. The
crowded, raucous, South American bus (with a few chickens) is
almost a cliche.
I suppose Americans on Holiday might be a bit more verbose, we
tend to be that anyway, but here in a business environment
elevators are usually very quiet. People crowd in, do their
best not to touch or look at anyone and generally the only place
to put your eyes is on the floor number indicator. The only
speech 'allowed' is if you are too far from the door you can say
to someone "14 please", and they will press that button for you.
Private conversations between friends go to short whispers.
#Post#: 16899--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: Susan Date: June 15, 2019, 7:26 am
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I think elevator behavior varies a bit across the U.S. I
believe Americans from Southern and rural areas are more
informal and more likely to acknowledge the presence of others
or chat in elevators, even in business environments. But Neil
is probably right that Americans on vacation in other countries
are much more likely to want to chat than in their day to day
business lives.
I have noticed that Americans in leisure activities, especially
for example, people at my gym, talk more with strangers than
they do during the workday.
#Post#: 16900--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: Truman Overby Date: June 15, 2019, 7:56 am
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This will shock Europeans, but the fact is I've never ridden
public transport except for the Metro in Washington, D. C. And
that was several years ago. And that was only two or three
times. No one talks on their phone on the metro, nor do they
look at each other. It's just not done.
#Post#: 16901--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: MartinSR Date: June 15, 2019, 8:02 am
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Sofia, I agree with Neal that you weren't politically incorrect,
you have just pointed to the cultural differences between ethnic
groups. It is known that people from South Europe and Latin
America talk usually more than those from North and West. It is
probably true to Slavic people too, though we would probably
place ourselves somewhere inbetween. Of course that's a pity
that people talk loudly on the phone in public places when they
are in the country with different culture to their own. Nobody
says they should forget their culture but the minimal
assimilation requires the respect for the host nation.
The elevator etiquette in Poland is probably similar to this
described by Neal, at least in public buildings. Of course you
say "Good morning ( good day actually)" (in Poland used all the
day, though we have other forms too) to people you know and to
your neighbours (when you live in a block of flats). I haven't
seen people greeting the bus driver while entering the bus, at
least not in Poland - while I saw it in the UK and even read an
article in Spanish about the drivers complaining this custom
became rare in Spain recently (one of my Spanish friends is a
bus driver, and she posted me a link to it).
I imagine the feeling of being transparent to Chinese people
comes from the overpopulation of their country and they probably
consider it a sign of being polite - not to interfere with the
other users of the limited space. My son told me, after his
journey to China, that they don't mind other people being
accidentally caught on their private photo, but it also means
they see nothing unusual in staying close to your family while
you are taking a photo of your relatives. Everywhere else people
wait for the opportunity of taking the photo alone (but in China
you would wait eternally).
The train talks of your grandma are something familiar to me. It
was very popular here in the past decades. Now most people read
something in their smartphones. Last year we were travelling by
train with my wife to Warsaw. And she started a conversation
with two young men sitting next to us (at the same table in a
rapid train). After some time they closed their laptops and the
conversation lasted until the end if the journey.
I don't use the public transport very often, because it is
usually much faster to go in my car. And I prefer walking short
distances. The people here usually talk when they know each
other. Talking on the phone isn't very frequent. Sometimes there
is no way to avoid it, when you receive an important call or you
have to call someone to pick you up from the train station. But
these calls are usually short. In a train you may go to the
corridor to receive a call, but still you can hear some
unpleasant remarks when you talk too long or too loud.
I have personally nothing against the conversations with other
passengers during a long journey. With the respect to those who
prefer to read or sleep.
It's like with everything - you can enjoy your freedom within
the limits stated by other people freedom.
#Post#: 16902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: NealC Date: June 15, 2019, 8:09 am
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An interesting thing on the NY commuter trains.
People will be reading something on the train and suddenly the
lights will go out. True New Yorkers don't even take their eyes
off what they are reading, the lights will come back on in a few
seconds. You can see them in the semi dark, with their
newspapers up, sometimes for 10 or 20 seconds at a time.
You can tell the tourists by the fear in their faces when the
lights go out ;-)
#Post#: 16903--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: MartinSR Date: June 15, 2019, 8:53 am
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It's probably only theoretical situation (I hope) for most users
of the forum, but you may know someone else's experience or have
some thoughts. What's your opinion about the things discussed in
the linked BBC material - Do you think that talking
occasionally to strangers on the bus can help people to ease
their loneliness?
#Post#: 16904--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: NealC Date: June 15, 2019, 11:12 am
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That is interesting, it just might be that a bus is a more
informal setting, and it is easier to communicate to strangers
on a bus.
#Post#: 16905--------------------------------------------------
Re: Small talk in the public transport
By: SHL Date: June 15, 2019, 11:30 am
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Public transportation in the US is one of the worst in the
world. It’s nothing like Europe. Many places in the US have no
public transportation of any sort- no busses, no trains,
nothing. If you don’t have a car you walk or take an Uber or
taxi, if you don’t mind waiting an hour for one. if one’s even
available. Larger cities and back East may be different, as in
NYC. But, much of their public transportation is out of
necessity due to overcrowding in those areas.
Out where I live, I’d say it is fair to say the only people who
ride the local city buses are homeless and mentally ill people
who live on the streets. No one else could consider getting on a
local bus (and you need a crystal ball to even know what their
schedule is). I haven’t been on a bus in about 25 years, and
that was in San Francisco. I’ve never ridden the ONE US train
system, Amtrak, and I’ve only ridden the SF Bay Area’s BART
system (Bay Area Rapid Transit). It’s a commenter train system
that connects the East Bay to San Francisco and is for people to
get to work. They also have Boat system out of a local town,
Vallejo for those not in too much of a hurry. Never been on it
but it’s probably better than BART. The entire business economy
of San Francisco is dependent on BART, because most people who
work there could never afford to live there. So, if a BART train
(which goes under the water, under the Bay) shuts down, the
business of San Francisco just comes to a stand-still. No one
can get to San Francisco realistically without it. In spite of 4
bridges connecting San Francisco to the East Bay, it would take
hours to cross one of those bridges by car with a BART shut
down.
While I haven’t been on BART for a while, but it is a miserable
experience. It’s a 50 year old system, with standing room only
most of the time. So, you are stuck holding a pole for 45
minutes. Few people talk to anyone or even look at them. Last
time I was on a BART train leaving San Francisco in the 1990s, I
was stuck holding a pole for 45 minutes, while some guy was
coming on to some girl next to me with the “hey baby, what are
you doing tonight” talk. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. And, BART
is not a San Francisco’s public transportation system. It just
gets you to the city. It’s stations just run along San
Francisco´s Market Street, the biggest one that divides the city
in half.
I will give them credit, they finally, after 30+ years of
planning, extended BART to the San Francisco Airport, so that
was an improvement. Once in the City, you have to use public
transportation, like their bus system, which is normally filled
with the homeless and mentally ill folks, and people living out
of shopping bags.. So, it’s not fun either. The best you can
hope for is a job near Market Street, within a walking distance
of a BART station. But, San Francisco is a city of hills. Steep
hills. I’d have a really hard time living or working there
because my heart couldn’t handle walking up the hills. There is
no way I could handle those hills. Plus, driving there is scary
too. One turn down the wrong street, and it's an enormously
steep drop off. Or contrariwise, going up a hill. Better have an
automatic transmission in your car because a stick shift at a
stop sign at the top of some steep hill, that you can’t even see
over can be quite an experience, trying not to roll into the car
behind you.
From 1981 to 1996 San Francisco was a nightmare during the
HIV|AIDS years. I used to have to go over there occasionally to
work. Homeless people with signs all over the streets saying
they were dying of AIDS and needed a handout. There would even
be dead bodies on the streets once and awhile you’d see them
until a truck would come along and haul them away. That was an
entirely different era, and a horrible 15 year period, with
their “tent city” of AIDS people living in tents in front of
City Hall. It was hard to imagine.
As to elevators, I agree with Neal. There's no small talk and no
eye contact. You just step in and ask the person nearest the
buttons what floor number to push “three please”. That’s about
it.
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