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#Post#: 14754--------------------------------------------------
Best Friends Forever
By: Nikola Date: April 25, 2019, 5:08 pm
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This is a story of a slightly atypical couple who have a strong
bond despite the completely passionless (as in lacking in
physical desire) nature of their relationship. Is what they have
extremely pure and beautiful, normal, too weird or even
unacceptable? Isn't it ironic that a gay man and a lesbian have
formed a relationship that, at first sight, looks like a
stereotypical heterosexual relationship more than anything else?
If you didn't know the story, you could easily think of them as
"the couple next door" because, after all, it's none of anyone's
business how intimate they get, just like some heterosexual
couples don't necessarily get intimate with each other. I'd like
to know how you feel about this couple, whether the very
"essence" of a loving relationship is there, or whether there's
something missing.
HTML https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvpGzeXUFR8
#Post#: 14755--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Alharacas Date: April 25, 2019, 5:58 pm
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The title is misleading, isn't it? Because they did get married
because they thought they were in love, and they did try to have
sex, only it didn't work out, did it?
They might have gotten a divorce, sooner rather than later, only
she turned out to have this illness, so he's doing the (very)
decent thing and taking care of her.
And it sounds as if Dennis has definitly drawn the short straw,
not just because he's nursing her, but because "Dennis is
probably gay" - what does that mean? That the poor guy never
even got to try?
#Post#: 14756--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Nikola Date: April 26, 2019, 3:58 am
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Maybe he's not gay. He could be asexual. Someone commented that
they looked like Mr and Mrs Santa Claus. I quite like the idea
of Santa Claus not being into sex. It would be a bit unsettling
if it were otherwise :)
Anyway, it's hard to make any judgement as to their true
feelings, preferences and motivations. I'm not saying you're
wrong, anything is possible but there are clues suggesting they
weren't too bothered about physical contact (they hadn't even
kissed until he proposed to her), they were still looking for
ways to have a baby even after they found out that sex was off
the table, that doesn't sound to me like they wanted a divorce,
it sounds more like a real commitment to me. And last but not
least, they might have actually meant it when they promised to
be there for each other no matter what. Would it be too crazy of
an idea? It is true that some people do leave their partner when
things don't work out the way they expected. It just doesn't
feel to me like this is the case. About drawing the short straw
and having to look after your sick partner, yes, there's that. I
know quite a few couples where the man is looking after his wife
and in all cases they just get on with it because, like you say,
it is the decent thing to do, but in some cases, I get the
feeling that the guy finds it quite rewarding or fulfilling and
it's not just a chore to him. It seems to be more common in
people who have worked in caring professions and therefore are
more inclined that way, but it's not a rule. A friend of mine
has multiple sclerosis, and her husband, a male nurse, seems to
take so much pleasure in looking after her it amazes me. There
are probably as many ways to be happy as there are people. And
some of these ways we might not understand.
#Post#: 14757--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Alharacas Date: April 26, 2019, 6:33 am
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"Anyway, it's hard to make any judgement as to their true
feelings, preferences and motivations."
I was wondering whether to write something along those lines,
since of course, the layers of interdependency and resentment
within a relationship are usually impossible to judge from the
outside, but then you'd asked for our opinion. :)
I can't remember Dennis saying anything about wanting children,
but even if he did - although the desire for children is
sometimes linked to love, people often want children for other
reasons, don't they?
#Post#: 14758--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Nikola Date: April 26, 2019, 8:03 am
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Sorry, my bad, I should have made it clearer that I was
referring to what was shown and said in the video. Let me
rephrase it.
Let's suppose what you see is all there is to it, these two
people are happy together (or at least think so), despite all
they've been through. Can you picture yourself in a relationship
like this and being happy? And if not, do you feel that it is
possible for someone else to be happy in such a relationship
long-term? Or will there always be something missing?
Of course we can come up with plenty of alternative stories,
explanations, dark unsaid truths and that's fine, we all like
stories. It's when we start reflecting on them as though they
were reality, we might end up assigning people negative thoughts
and traits they don't have. That's why I'm a bit reluctant to go
down that route. Discussing theory as a mere theory is fine. Who
knows, Dennis might be seeing Dave behind her back and she might
be lying about being intersex and they may not even like
mushrooms :)
I don't know how much or why they wanted to have a baby and I
don't think it proves whether or not they love each other, no.
#Post#: 14762--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Aliph Date: April 26, 2019, 3:13 pm
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I stopped wondering about the tastes of other people in love
matters since a long time. There are so many varieties of
couples that I wouldn’t dare to describe them, even on a
relative tolerant and open-minded board like this one.
So a couple of a gay men with a lesbian woman doesn’t surprise
me nor shock me. Such alliances aren’t unusual anymore,
especially if there is the wish to have children and of course
sexual intercourses isn’t absolutely indispensable to have
children.
#Post#: 14764--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Nikola Date: April 26, 2019, 5:25 pm
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[quote author=Sofia link=topic=1001.msg14762#msg14762
date=1556309595]
There are so many varieties of couples that I wouldn’t dare to
describe them, even on a relative tolerant and open-minded board
like this one.
[/quote]
You're making me curious, Sofia.
#Post#: 14837--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: NealC Date: April 28, 2019, 10:56 pm
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I think a lot of this sort of thing happened quite a bit years
ago, especially in cultures where homosexual feelings were not
even understood, let alone permitted. Like Sofia said, couples
work out their own details and people are a lot more complicated
than what might be 'normal'.
Sex is an important part of marriage, but marriage is a LOT
bigger than just sex. American comic Jeff Foxworthy noted
getting married for sex made as much sense as taking an
international flight because you like free airline peanuts.
#Post#: 14870--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Nikola Date: April 29, 2019, 4:54 pm
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[quote author=NealC link=topic=1001.msg14837#msg14837
date=1556510212]
American comic Jeff Foxworthy noted getting married for sex made
as much sense as taking an international flight because you like
free airline peanuts.
[/quote]
In both cases it's accepted by society, provided you can afford
it.
#Post#: 14872--------------------------------------------------
Re: Best Friends Forever
By: Aliph Date: April 30, 2019, 7:24 am
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[quote author=NealC link=topic=1001.msg14837#msg14837
date=1556510212]
American comic Jeff Foxworthy noted getting married for sex
made as much sense as taking an international flight because you
like free airline peanuts.
[/quote]
Ha, ha. There are people who cannot stand peanuts or are
terribly allergic to it.
Same thing with sex.
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