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#Post#: 581--------------------------------------------------
Taylor second draft
By: mcevill7 Date: April 5, 2014, 3:26 pm
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Still working on the very last part!
#Post#: 587--------------------------------------------------
Re: Taylor second draft
By: ruther50 Date: April 6, 2014, 4:47 pm
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-love the word choices, makes me want to keep reading and sounds
very intelligent
-story is still very descriptive, love these elements, sucks me
into the scene
-make sure to separate your dialogue from the rest of the
paragraph
-don't think the double ?? is needed within the first dialogue
-paragraph lengths are very good and effective, not too long
-love the chapter titles, very intriguing and fitting for the
writing
-Are you still friends with Erin?
-i really like how to describe each person within the story,
easy for me to picture
-i'm glad you described what RND is, because most wouldn't
-I really like the chapter "a bump in the road" its very
descriptive with your feelings and emotions, very well written!
-I would blend the sentences: "Erin and I would ride for hours.
With Kari's help and guidance."
-I would put your thoughts separate, maybe in italics
-I really really love your memoir. It is such a great topic and
has so many life altering elements within it. Keep going, I love
where its going!
-Kiersten Rutherford
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