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#Post#: 555--------------------------------------------------
Memoir Draft 2
By: nuderabr Date: March 31, 2014, 9:26 pm
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I remember taking the exit off the highway and onto Military
Road. I don’t know how but my dog always seemed to know that we
were almost to our destination. He would jump up from his
position on the floor of the car and climb into my lap. He’d
press his nose into the glass and wag his tail ferociously.
I remember pulling up to that tiny house at the end of Northwest
Legion drive. After a five and a half hour drive all I wanted to
do was get out of the overly cramped car. This was constantly a
struggle; we’d all fight to be the first to push our way out of
the car. I usually sat in the middle row which made escaping the
car a bit easier for me. The air outside the car was a welcoming
gesture. It was clean and crisp, nothing like the air we were
all used to in the city. The sky was blue as ever without a
cloud in the sky, this is how our arrival day was.
The cottage was set on a minuscule piece of property owned by
the American Legion. My Great-Grandpa had been a World War II
pilot and was given the land after his service. The house was
maybe 150 yards from the seventh most beautiful lake in the
nation, Higgins Lake. There the water is ice cold and clear as
glass. There is no seaweed or rocks, nothing but flawless
ripples of sand under the water. On the days were the sun shines
bright in the sky, the water reflects it like a million diamonds
laying atop the surface. It is by far my favorite place to be.
I did a little dance around to car, so excited to be at the
cottage. When I was little, I didn't think much of it, however
I’ve come to appreciate everything a lot more now that I’m
older. Before, unpacking our bags and even before unloading the
car, I would run inside to say a quick ‘Hello’ to my great
grandma. We usually called her ‘GG’, which stood for
‘Great-Grandma’, but as I got older I began to call her ‘gram’
like my mom did. She lived up there alone and from the time I
was born we would travel the long hours from Chicago to
Roscommon, Michigan.
My GG was a very special person and similar to the home in
general, I didn’t realize that as a little kid. She was always
there waiting for us when we arrived. Sometimes, my mom would
wake my siblings and I early so that we pulled up in the mid
afternoon. But, other times my dad would wait until midevening
to leave meaning we would drive into the night and arrive very
late. No matter the case, GG was up waiting for us.
I would step over the threshold into the breezeway that
separated the garage and the house. It smelled of the lake. GG
was very strict about not letting the sand in the house so it
tended to accumulate in the tiny room. I stand there and take in
the clean fresh air of Northern Michigan. The house wasn’t much.
There were three bedrooms, a bathroom, a tiny sitting room
combined with an eating area and a kitchen about the size of a
closet.
The cottage had been built by my great-grandfather in the 1950’s
and has been in the family since then. From the time I was a
baby, my parents took me there. Every summer my family and I
would make the trip to this little house for the Fourth of July.
When I was really little, we would watch the fireworks over the
lake and stay up late to look at the stars. Being up there was
like having time stand still. I would lay on the dock and look
into the sky wondering how in the world all those stars could
exist in the universe. It’s my favorite place to relax and
think.
I loved going up in the summer to visit with the lake and my
grandma. Unfortunately, as I grew older, so did GG. Soon she
could no longer care for herself on her own during those tough
Michigan winters.
In the fall of 2011, GG came to stay with us for the winter. It
was around September when she moved in. In my home, we have a
small room with red painted walls. My mom nicknamed this the
‘Red Room’ and this is where my gram would be living for the
next eight months. I was not too thrilled for her to be staying
with us. Earlier that year, my handicapped uncle had moved in
while he was making his move from Michigan to the Chicago area.
I had to deal with that and I didn’t want to go through it
again. I regret all those thoughts now. I love my family very
dearly, but at the time it was all that my teenage mind could
think of.
I believe it was a weekday, my grandparents made the drive up
north to pick GG up and bring her home. When I came home from
school, my grandma and grandpa along with GG were all waiting
for us. I was happy to see her, but at the same time it was so
strange to be saying hello to her in my own home rather than at
the cottage. As she got older, she rarely ever came to visit us,
I think I can only remember her doing so once.
I gave her a big hug and inhaled her perfume. She smelled of
Dove White soap and sweet perfume. Her skin was soft but her
body was small and her muscles weak. I would never hug her
tightly for fear of hurting her. But, despite her old age, gram
was happy and thankful as ever to be with family.
Through the course of her time with us, I didn’t spend much of
it with her. I would wake early for school and come home late
from practice. I would get straight to my homework and go to
bed. It was my junior year in high school. I was tired,
overworked, sore, and stretched far too thin for me to handle.
The weekends was the time that I spent most with GG. I would
wake up Saturday morning and if no one had done it already, I
would make her breakfast and coffee. She would always ask for
one piece of toast with raspberry jelly on it. I would cut it
into four squares for her just the way she liked it before
serving it on top of a napkin. Then I would go about making her
coffee. Gram drank instant coffee with just the right amount of
cream and sugar. I thought it was the grossest thing ever but
the smell was warm and inviting like my grandma. In a short
amount of time I became an expert on preparing her breakfast.
We would sit at the kitchen table while we ate. GG was born in
1920 so she had experienced her fair share of history. I would
pass the time by asking her about everything that she had done
with her life. I sat there as she explained to me her high
school years and living through the Great Depression. That was
her favorite topic of conversation. I listened very intently. I
loved hearing all her stories and I wish I had spent more time
so I could have learned more.
After breakfast, I would get straight to the laundry. It was not
a core I particularly liked to do. I moseyed my way through it
for most of the day. GG would ask me to bring up the clean
clothes from the basement so that she could help me fold them.
We would sit on the couch and talk; I would fold the bigger
laundry and she would lay the socks pair the socks up for me to
fold together.
“Brailey, this one doesn’t have a mate.” She would say to me as
she held up a stray sock.
“Gram, it fell under your chair.” Would be my most common
response.
I enjoyed those rare Saturday mornings where I could spend time
with GG. I was fascinated with her stories about what life was
like back in the day. Having my grandma stay with us was not at
all what I was expecting it to be. I liked having her around, it
was nice to see her in an environment outside of the cottage. I
would hear her talk to my mother in the kitchen while I worked
on my homework. They would laugh and laugh about things that had
happened in the past. I loved hearing the sound of GGs laughter,
it was quiet and gentle, but it had the air of complete and
total happiness. It reminded me of a bunny which it ironic
because she was not at all like that when I was a child. It was
a nice change to see her mellow out and hear her laugh.
December 13th 2011. It was a Tuesday night and I had just come
home from cheering at a basketball game. The game went late and
so as soon as I arrived home, I went straight to the computer to
start my physics homework. I didn’t even bother to change out of
my uniform. I was tired and hungry and the only thing I wanted
in the entire world was to curl up under my warm blankets and
fall asleep.
But I couldn’t, I had to sit there at the computer table and get
my homework done. I was just one room away from GG’s and I could
hear my mom moving back and forth between there and the
bathroom. I knew that gram hadn’t been doing too well lately.
She had suddenly become sick. It started off as nothing more
than a common cold. I would later learn that she was accidently
given medicine that she was allergic to.
I tried my best to ignore what was happening in the other room,
but it was very difficult.
“Focus on physic,” I told myself. “You need to learn this
stuff!” I had a test coming up very soon
Except, I wasn’t able to take my own advice. This only made
things more difficult. I wasn’t able to pay attention to what
was on the screen, I was barely even able to hold my pencil
without my hand shaking. I was worried.
The noises from the other room died down a little, either that
or I just got used to them and didn’t notice them anymore.
Either way, I was able to settle down and do some of my assigned
problems. I was calculating torque and rotational energy, it was
hard enough to focus on that without having to hear my mom
caring for my sick grandmother.
My actual grandma (GG’s daughter) had been over earlier during
the day to help my mom out and to care for her mother as well. I
don’t remember her being there when I got home, so I’m assuming
she left to return to her home before then.
Around 10:30pm, my mom called her mom. Mom’s voice was shaky as
she talked into the receiver. I didn’t see her but her voice
came from the dining room. My mom is one of the most calming
people I know, she rarely ever gets scared or freaks out. Not
that night, her voice was anything but calm. I couldn’t make out
what she was saying. The only sounds I heard were faint
blubbering muffled by the phone receiver. It was clear however
that she was crying.
At this point, it might have been good for me to give up on my
homework and go straight to my room. I couldn’t move, I was
stuck to the seat. My hands were sweaty and I slowly started to
cry, silent tears streaming down my face. I started praying, I
prayed to God to watch over GG. I didn’t want to lose her, not
here, not like this, not ever. However much I prayed, I knew
that I had no control over something like this. God was going to
watch over my gram and that’s all I could rely on at that point.
It took me a long time to gather my emotions. Through tear stung
eyes, I pulled myself back to my homework. I needed to get it
done; I needed to be strong for my mom and her mom and my entire
family. It was not long after that I heard my mother get up to
go to the bathroom. GG had asked her to wash her teeth before
going to sleep. My mom did as she was asked. I heard the water
run for a short period of time and then the soft footsteps of my
mom going back into the bedroom.
I don’t know exactly what happened next. My mom explained to me
that she sat there with GG and just moment later she rolled
herself to one side and let God take her to the heavens. I
wasn’t in the room so I have to trust what my mom says, and I
do.
From the computer table, with pencil still in hand I heard the
sobbing of my mom. They were slow and painful, I could hear her
gasping for breath between her tears. I dropped my pencil on the
desk and let my hands fall to my lap. The tears that I cried
falling steadily onto my physics homework. I was shaking all
over. On the inside, I was broken. I had never lost someone who
I had impacted my life so much. She was my GG. She always seemed
so unbreakable to me. I had never pictured my life without her
and was faced with the shocking truth that I would have to
continue life in that way.
I never would have expected to be there when my gram passed
away, but I was and I was devastated. This time, I wasn’t afraid
to really cry. There were no more silent tears, I let it all
out. I was almost in a state of shock. I didn’t want to believe
that my great-grandmother had just passed away in my home.
Minutes later my mom made another call.
“Mom, she’s gone. She’s gone.” I heard this over and over again
in a voice that did not match the one of my strong confident
mother. It was something that I never would have expected to
hear come out of my mom’s mouth, ever.
My grandma showed up at our side door. I pulled myself off the
seat and found that I couldn’t walk. My legs had fallen asleep,
so with stiff legs, I walked to fifteen feet from the computer
table to the door and let my grandma in. Seeing the tears on my
face, she embraced me in a tight hug.
“It will be fine. Everything will be just fine. You don’t need
to cry. Grandma is much, much better now” She told me in a soft
voice. I could see her puffy, watery eyes, she had been crying
as well.
She held me there for a long time and when she finally pulled
away I stood there as my grandma walked from the door to GG’s
bedroom. I didn’t dare go over there. I knew that my mom and
grandma needed their space.
Painfully I dragged myself back to the computer table. I sat
there like a statue, a statue with the expression of complete
and udder pain. I could feel my eyes swell up from the tears I
had cried. I could feel the makeup that smeared down my face and
dried leaving my cheeks tight. I stayed that way for a very long
time until my mother came out of the bedroom and over to my
side. She wrapped me in a tight hug and we cried together. I
could tell she was hurt much more that I was and I could only
imagine what my grandmother was feeling at that point.
“Would you like to see her, Brailey?” My mom asked me when she
had regained her composure. “She looks very peaceful, like she’s
sleeping.”
I silently shook my head “no” and continued to cry on my mom’s
shoulder. My grandma came over to us and we cried together for a
long time, sharing the same pain. I sat down and buried my head
into my mom’s stomach as her mom wrapped her arms comfortingly
around my shoulders. I don’t know how much time passed in that
moment, but I know that I eventually had no more tears to shed.
My grandma was smiling down at me through her watery eyes. She
gently kissed both my mom and I reassuring us that everything
would be okay.
Shortly after that, I dragged myself up the stairs and into my
room. I didn’t want to be downstairs when the ambulance came. I
didn’t want to see my grandmother taken out of the house in a
black zip up bag.
That night I cried myself to sleep. I cried for my mom and
grandma. I cried for myself. But most importantly I cried for
the loss of my GG. I cried for the time that I didn’t get to
spend with her and for the time to come where she won’t be
there.
She was buried the next week in a small cemetery up at the
cottage. The ceremony was small and sad. She was 91 years old so
many of her friends and family had already passed. It was a
closed casket ceremony but at the end, they did open it for the
few who wanted to see her face. I was one of the few. I wanted
to look at her and say a proper goodbye before she was placed in
the ground. My mom didn’t come in with me, she said that she
couldn’t bear to see GG again. She looked very peaceful laying
there and although it hurt me, I knew that she was in a much
better place. She was reunited with my Grandpa GG and I was sure
that they were both smiling down at us.
We walked from the church across the street to the cemetery and
watched the priest as he blessed the casket. They didn’t lower
her into the ground then, they did that after everyone left, so
we stood there and listened to the priest as he went on with the
blessing. When he was finished everyone walked back to the
church. I stayed with my mom and grandma and we said goodbye one
more time. I had come to terms with what had transpired in the
past week and was only sad to lose my grandma. I knew that she
was happier somewhere else and most importantly, I knew that I
would always have her with me from that point on, no matter
what.
October 13th, 2013. One year and 10 months after GG passed away,
I was attending church at St. Johns Parish. It was my second
month after starting college and my family had come up for a
visit. The mass was a simple Sunday mass, nothing special to it.
The priest gave a homily about society and how people these days
feel the need to submerge themselves in the biggest and
brightest things. He explained how it’s imperative to not forget
the simple life. I stood in the church half paying attention to
what was being sad. My mind was on other things such as school
and celebrating my mom’s birthday later that day
The priest went on to tell the congregation that it is “far
better to cleanse the soul with the simplest of options.” He
used Dove White soap as an analogy, saying that that was the
most simple you could get.
Later that day, my parents took me shopping. I needed body soap,
so obliging to what the priest said, my mom picked out Dove
White soap. I didn’t think much of it, it was cheap it came in a
pack, it would do. It wasn’t until a couple weeks when I opened
that soap did I remember the correlation. It smelled of my GG.
It was such a comforting, familiar smell. It brought me to
tears. I stood there, in my dorm room crying for my
great-grandma. It had been almost two years since her passing
but the pain was still very strong.
The cottage was passed onto my mom and her cousin and we still
go up there every year on the Fourth of July. It’s different
though. I don’t walk through the doors to see my grandma reading
in her chair. I walk through the doors to an empty house where
my grandma should be. Instead there are only her things and the
memories I have of her.
The house is still a welcoming place for me but it’s a cold
welcome. The house is not the same. The furniture is the same
but it’s arranged in a different order. The pictures have been
taken off the wall and many of the valuable items have been
taken away for fear of having them stolen. For most of the year,
the house stands bare and empty.
For a while time, I couldn’t bring myself to go into GG’s room.
I didn’t feel like it would be her room without her in it. I got
over the uncomfortableness of that and when I did enter her
small bedroom, I found almost everything in its order, almost as
if it was waiting for her to return home. I went to sit on the
bed. I sat there and cried. I cried for a long time and prayed
and cried some more. I still cry every once and a while.
I know that my grandmother is still with me today. I wear a
necklace of hers every day, it gives me strength to know that
she is with me as I grow. Losing her was one of the hardest
things I have ever had to go through. It was painstakingly hard,
but I know that it has helped me grow. I am who I am because of
the people who have impacted my life. My Great-Grandmother will
always hold a very dear place in my heart, forever and always.
#Post#: 559--------------------------------------------------
Re: Memoir Draft 2
By: Laisures Date: April 1, 2014, 2:21 pm
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"The sky was blue as ever without a cloud in the sky, this is
how our arrival day was." I don't think you need the 'this is
how our arrival day was' in there.
watch your tense choice. you tend to switch it up quite a bit.
Check your grammar. You are missing quite a few commas. Just the
little stuff.
"After breakfast, I would get straight to the laundry. It was
not a core I particularly liked to do. " I think you mean chore
"“Brailey, this one doesn’t have a mate.” She would say to me as
she held up a stray sock.
“Gram, it fell under your chair.” Would be my most common
response." I like this line. adds some humor
you have a great story. some places do slow down the pace of the
story. I think that if you edited the grammar a bit that would
also help.
Nice work though!
#Post#: 565--------------------------------------------------
Re: Memoir Draft 2
By: poppsar1 Date: April 1, 2014, 9:44 pm
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I thought that you were driving in the first sentence, do you
think you could kind of specify that you were young? Maybe
that's not important but I just keep thinking that your first
paragraph is when you're driving in the present/recent past, but
then you go into talking about when you're young.
I like how you gave the specifics about the area and background
on your great grandpa and how he got the land.
I especially like the sensory detail you give about the lake. It
made me imagine summer at the beach!
I really enjoyed how you talk about doing such "normal" things
with you great grandma because it shows how much you enjoyed the
little things with her!
You do a great job of explaining your feelings leading up to
your great grandmothers death. It seems to be a very sad night
for you and you capture that very well. I didn't want to keep
reading because I knew what was going to happen (from reading it
last time) and you do a great job of making me understand the
pain that you felt.
The little details that you added really are important to the
story and you did a great job of using it! If you are meaning to
slow down the pace with sensory detail in some places, that was
also done very well. Overall, great job writing about such a
difficult topic.
#Post#: 570--------------------------------------------------
Re: Memoir Draft 2
By: Grace Rozanski Date: April 1, 2014, 11:53 pm
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Great job on your second draft!
-"The sky was blue as ever without a cloud in the sky, this is
how our arrival day was." This line is a bit repetitive, maybe
mix it up a bit!
-You have really great imagery and sensory detail throughout, I
especially liked your description of the lake.
-You add a lot of small details that seem insignificant, but
they make the story very personal and endearing so good job with
that!
-I would watch your tense, it switches up a few times
throughout.
-I also thought that this story showed a good personal
transformation and I enjoyed that.
-Your story comes across as extremely honest and that is hard to
do. Good job!
-Your ending is great and really gets your message across, it
ties everything together.
-I would just say to consider adding a bit more dialogue just
because it is something that we have been working on in class.
Overall, great job, your story really came together and I
enjoyed it!
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