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       #Post#: 554--------------------------------------------------
       2nd Draft Memoir
       By: ruther50 Date: March 31, 2014, 7:45 pm
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       2nd draft is attached. Please edit, I need some good tips and
       advice!
       #Post#: 582--------------------------------------------------
       Re: 2nd Draft Memoir
       By: mcevill7 Date: April 5, 2014, 3:39 pm
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       I really like the part where you talk about your nick name. It
       gives good insight on your personal life and helps us get to
       know more about you.
       When you are describing high school and you say you were not the
       person you were supposed you should be and you had a "false
       mask" on, say a little bit more about that. How were you acting
       differently, how did you negatively impact the people around
       you? Why was your best friend the only one there for you?
       explain what a liberro is, i'm not quite sure haha
       Make sure your paragraphs don't get to long.
       "Ashley and I could just enjoy our time hanging out together,
       instead of doing risky things with Kennadie." this is worded a
       little weird, maybe make it two sentences.
       when you are talking about your friend giving you Brock's number
       you say it twice
       You mention your past mistakes a lot but don't really say what
       they were, maybe give an example.
       I really like the main point of your memoir is that one person
       can change your life and set you on the right path, but in the
       beginning I didn't really get the sense that you were on the
       wrong path. Give a little more detail about that.
       You do a good job letting me know what time period in your life
       it was and I didn't have to guess at all so good job with that.
       overall I really like it!
       ~Taylor
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