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#Post#: 527--------------------------------------------------
memoir rough draft
By: poppsar1 Date: March 24, 2014, 7:57 am
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Attached is my rough draft
#Post#: 533--------------------------------------------------
Re: memoir rough draft
By: Laisures Date: March 24, 2014, 8:27 am
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I like the story so far!
when you are talking about striking the 1st girl out, you lose
the intensity when you just say strike three. You could add to
that and be like, "Just one more. One more strike and she was
out. I positioned myself one more time....." I think it was keep
the intensity going.
love this line, very funny.
gopher.createaforum.com:70 /forums/eng232jff/p/212:25: port field too long