DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
ENG 232- JFF
HTML https://eng232jff.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Memoir Topic
*****************************************************
#Post#: 525--------------------------------------------------
Memoir (Draft 1)
By: pruittp1 Date: March 24, 2014, 5:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
So, so rough.
#Post#: 556--------------------------------------------------
Re: Memoir (Draft 1)
By: ellacaudill Date: March 31, 2014, 10:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I really liked your memoir. It was witty and engaging and really
depicted the pivotal moments in your life well. I think there
needs to be more about how your change in faith affected you as
a person. How did it get you to where you are in your life now
and how did it change who you are? It ends a little abruptly, so
that would be a good place to include why all of those incidents
in your life really matter. The sensory details when talking
about being in the car with your cousin are terrific.
#Post#: 604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Memoir (Draft 1)
By: prestelo Date: April 7, 2014, 7:30 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Funny introduction, I like the phrasing, maybe create a cleaner
transition before starting to talk about the desk, description
of what’s in the desk seems kind of unnecessary to that extent,
“roiling” odd word choice, “The Kool-Aid was drunk” possibly
change tense there to help the flow or change the order “I drank
the Kool-Aid.”, “rankles” doesn’t really feel like it fits there
*****************************************************