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HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS A PARALYSTIC RELATIONSHIP
By: Emmytec4 Date: December 27, 2012, 12:37 am
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A parasitic relationship is a
relationship in which one
partner (the parasite) is helped,
at the expense of another
partner (the host) being hurt. [1]
A parasitic relationship must be
distinguished from the other two
forms of symbiotic relationship
[2]: mutualistic,[3] where both
partners benefit, and
commensal,[4] where one
partner benefits, but the other
partner is unaffected. A parasitic
relationship is a harmful
relationship for the host.
Therefore, it is important to
identify it early on, so further
damage can be forestalled.
In a healthy relationship, one
should seek to give more and
receive less, loving one another
as oneself. It should be mutually
loving, caring, respecting, and
well-balanced. A parasitic
relationship is an imbalance that
must be identified and corrected
promptly.
Edit
Steps
1
Identify the relationship. In
order to know whether you
are in a parasitic relationship,
you must first identify the
relationship. Identify the
person or living thing with
whom you have a relationship.
2
Determine what benefits, if
any, you have derived from
this relationship . For example:
Are you receiving love?
Are you getting/saving
more money?
Are you living more
healthily physically?
Are you finding food more
easily?
Are you finding shelter
more easily?
Are you able to go
shopping more easily?
Are you able to perform
daily routines more
effectively?
Is your life more
meaningful as a result of
the relationship?
3
Determine what harms, if
any, you have derived from
this relationship . For example:
Are you hurting
emotionally?
Are you losing money?
Are you living more
unhealthily physically?
Are you finding food more
difficult to obtain?
Are you finding shelter
more difficult to secure?
Are you having more
difficulty shopping?
Are you finding your daily
routines more difficult to
perform?
Is your life less meaningful
as a result of the
relationship?
N.B.: this list is only an
example, and may not
apply to you. You must
make your own list of
things that are important
to you.
4
Compare the two lists
(benefits and harms you
obtained from the
relationship) to see whether
overall you are benefiting or
being harmed from the
relationship. For example, you
can do this systematically as
follows:
Assign a weight of how
important each item is to
you. For example, you can
use a scale of 0-5, where 0
is not at all important, and
5 is extremely important.
Assign a score to each
item, rating the extent to
which you have been
affected. For example, you
can use a score of 1-10,
where 1 is minimally
affected, and 10 is
maximally affected.
Multiply the score you
assign to each item by the
weight you assigned for
that item. For example,
suppose shelter is more
difficult for you as a result
of the relationship, shelter
should be an item on your
list of harms. If shelter is
very important to you, but
not the most important,
you could assign it a
weight of 4. And if,
because of the relationship,
you are experiencing
moderate difficulty with
affording shelter, you could
give it a score of 5, so
multiply to get a score of
20 for that item.
Do this for each item on
the list of benefits, then
add up all the results. Do
the same for the list of
harms.
Now compare the two
composite scores, to see
which score is bigger. If
the list of benefits has a
bigger score than the list of
harms, you are benefiting
from the relationship
overall. If the list of harms
has a bigger score than the
list of benefits, you are
being harmed by
relationship overall.
5
Create a list of benefits and a
list of harms derived from
the relationship by your
partner . This is a more
difficult step, as you may not
be fully aware of all the
benefits and harms derived by
your partner, and the extent to
which each benefit or harm is
important. Just try your best to
make up the lists, knowing
that they are estimations at
best.
6
Do the same analysis you did
for yourself to see whether,
overall, your partner is
benefiting, or is being
harmed, by the relationship .
7
Interpret the results, as
follows :
If you are benefiting and
your partner is benefiting,
you are not in a parasitic
relationship (you are in a
mutualistic relationship).
If you are benefiting and
your partner is being
harmed, you are in a
parasitic relationship (you
are the parasite and your
partner is the host).
If you are being harmed
and your partner is
benefiting, you are in a
parasitic relationship (your
partner is the parasite and
you are the host).
If you are being harmed
and your partner is being
harmed, you are not in a
parasitic relationship (you
are in a mutually
destructive, or abusive,
relationship).
8
Have a genuine, heart-to-
heart conversation with your
partner. One of the most
common causes of conflicts in
relationships is
misunderstanding. Perhaps
you have misinterpreted the
f
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