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#Post#: 25--------------------------------------------------
how To know if He loves You (love tips)
DIR By: ecitytalk
Date: May 6, 2019, 11:46 pm
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He loves me … he loves me not … if only finding the answer were
as simple as plucking petals off a flower. So what makes it so
hard to determine if a man truly loves you?
A lot of us have ideas about what love should be, what it should
look like, and how it should feel. A lot of the time these ideas
are plain wrong (we can thank romantic comedies for that). As a
result, some of us might not recognize the real thing when it
comes our way.
Maybe it’s because of these grand visions of love that have been
implanted in our minds, but it could also be the result of being
burned too many times in the past and having walls up when it
comes to either giving love or being able to receive it.
The point is, love is a tricky thing. A guy can say he loves you
and not truly mean it, and a guy can love you a lot but not be
ready to say it.
Love, as beautiful as it is, can also be scary, and a lot of us
keep our guard up until we’re sure he feels a certain way in
order to keep from getting hurt. As the saying goes, before you
fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you.
The trouble with this is that when you get caught up in trying
to figure out if a man loves you, you can no longer be present
in the relationship. Instead of connecting, you are stuck in
your own worried thoughts, and those thoughts produce fears and
insecurities that ultimately block you from getting the love you
want.
So how do you know if a man is truly in love with you? If he
shows these 11 signs, then it’s pretty safe to say he is.
Take The Quiz: Does He Really Love You?
Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Does He
Really Love You” Quiz right now and find out if he Really loves
you...
Does he talk about the future? (Question 1 of 15)
Jokingly, but not in a serious way we're normally flirty
Yes, we both do, but less lately.
Yes, we have a future planned
No, he makes it clear we're going with the flow and aren't
committed
Continue
Signs He Loves You:
1. The way he looks at you.
He looks at you like you’re a unicorn, like he can’t believe you
exist. He may even come right out and tell you, “I can’t believe
someone like you exists.”
It isn’t a look of lust and desire (although he will feel that
as well!). Instead, it’s marked by a certain level of awe,
serenity, and inner calm. It’s a look reserved only for you.
It’s not only the way he looks at you; it’s the frequency. He
can’t stop looking at you; whether you’re together or across the
room from each other, his gaze will always be oriented toward
you.
2. He wants to give to you.
Real love is about giving, not taking. This is why parents
typically love their children more than their children love
them. You would think it would be the opposite. From birth
through our teenage years (and sometimes beyond!) kids take and
parents give. Every parent (myself included!) will tell you that
you never know real love until you have a child, and that’s
because this kind of love is all about giving. Nothing will
knock the selfish out of you quite like being completely
responsible for tiny helpless people!
When you love someone, you want to give that person everything
you have. This isn’t about material possessions. You want to
give by being the best you can, you want to make them happy, to
enhance their life, you want to do things for them that will
make them happy.
Love isn’t merely a feeling; it’s a verb and it comes across in
actions. The biggest action that indicates a man loves you is
when he gives you all he can.
QUIZ: Does He Love Me?
3. He treats you like a priority.
Everyone is busy; we all have work or school or other
commitments. When a man loves you, he will make spending time
with you a priority. And if he really doesn’t have time, he’ll
make sure to let you know when he will.
When a man loves you, you’re the most important person in his
life and he makes sure to carve out a place in it for you.
You’re not an afterthought or a backup plan. You are it for him.
4. He wants to immerse himself in your life.
He wants to meet your family and all of your friends, and he
really wants them to like him. He makes an effort to get to know
them and make a good impression. He wants to know all about your
passions and hobbies and tries to connect to these areas of your
life as much as possible.
At the same time, he also wants to immerse you in his life and
for you to meet all of his people. He wants you to be best
friends with everyone he’s close to and he wants the people in
his life to love you the way he does.
More than that, he includes you in his bigger life plan. He
doesn’t speak about the future vaguely; instead, he makes it
clear that he envisions a future with you in it.
MORE: How Men Show Their Love
5. He really sees you.
He notices things about you that others don’t (maybe he even
sees things that you don’t!) He notices how you interact with
others, how people feel in your presence, how your mind works,
how you process emotions, how you express yourself. He pays
attention to all the little details and he remembers them. He
appreciates the full scope of who you are, the good and the bad.
He doesn’t just love you, he loves things about you.
Really loving people doesn’t mean you love the way they make you
feel (although many people believe that’s what love is), it’s
about loving them for who they are at their core. This sort of
love has nothing to do with how good that person makes you feel
about yourself. That’s not to say someone you love can’t or
won’t make you feel good about yourself, but you can’t truly
love people only because they make you feel good. That’s a very
selfish kind of love, a love that feeds your need to feel good
in the moment, not a life-changing, deep love.
When someone really sees you, he sees not just everything you
are but everything you want to be, and he’ll let you know when
you’re falling short.
The catch? This may actually make you feel bad about yourself.
If you’re being a jerk to strangers, treating a friend poorly,
or not living up to your obligations somehow, someone who loves
you will let you know. It may not feel good, but it’s a sign
that he really sees you, all of you, and cares about you. (I go
into greater depth on this in my article on what no one tells
you about being in a good relationship.)
6. Your happiness is as important to him as his own.
Your happiness may be even more important! When you love
someone, really love someone, their happiness is your happiness.
This is especially true for men who need to feel like they can
make a woman happy.
If you tell him that something makes you unhappy and he keeps
doing it, this is not a sign that he’s in love with you. A man
who loves you will avoid doing things that make you unhappy and
will learn the things will make you happy, and he’ll make an
effort to do those things.
7. He misses you when you’re apart.
Men typically fall in love in a woman’s absence, not her
presence. A man can shower you with all the love in the world
while he’s with you because it’s nice to be with someone else
and to connect and be affectionate, but what is he like when
he’s not with you? Does he miss you? Does he make an effort to
reach out? Or does he disappear for days on end and then tell
you he’s sorry, he’s just been “super swamped?”
When you love someone, you yearn for their presence and miss
them when they’re gone. It doesn’t mean you are constantly
thinking about them every waking minute, because that would be
an unhealthy obsession, not love, but the thought of them always
lingers in the background. Things remind you of them, something
happens and you want to tell them, you just feel a constant
connection even when you’re apart.
When a man is in love with you, he’ll be in touch. He’ll send
you funny things he finds online or links to articles he thinks
you’d like, or he’ll tell you about something funny that
happened to him that he thought you’d appreciate. You don’t ever
wonder what black hole he’s fallen into. He’s just there, and
you dont doubt he’ll stay there.
8. He keeps you in the loop.
I remember very early in my relationship with my husband I knew
he really cared about me because he would always keep me in the
loop, even when it wasn’t necessary. For instance, before our
third date, I texted him to confirm the time and he didn’t
respond for about 45 minutes and when he did he apologized for
the delay and said he was out with friends and not checking his
phone.
I don’t consider 45 minutes to be that significant of a time lag
and didn’t need the explanation, but it made me feel cared for
and it showed me that he considered me someone important and
didn’t want me to think that something else was more important.
He would do considerate things like that constantly, and that’s
how I knew he loved me long before he even said it.
When a guy loves you, he won’t ever leave you hanging. He’ll
keep you informed about what he’s up to, not because he has to,
but because he wants to.
9. He’s there for you even when it’s inconvenient.
Being in love is easy when everything is going great and it’s
all smooth sailing, but what happens when you hit a rough patch,
or when you need him? How does he respond when there is a
problem, when he needs to be there for you even if there are
other things he would rather be doing?
Love is other-focused; it’s not about one’s own needs and
desires, it’s about factoring in someone else.
When a man loves you, nothing will be more important than being
there for you when you need him. It may not always be his ideal
scenario, but he’ll step up and be there.
10. He doesn’t give up.
He puts his all into the relationship and really commits to
making it work. When you love someone, you don’t quit without a
fight.
I remember at the beginning of my relationship with my husband,
a lot of my deep-seated relationship fears started bubbling to
the surface. I had been blindsided by breakups in the past; I’d
had men tell me they loved me and then they left me. It’s hard
to just forget such things and wipe the slate clean.
Even though this relationship was totally different from
anything else I’d ever experienced, those fears lingered. I
remember one conversation where I brought this up to him, and he
told me that if this relationship didn’t last, it would be a
mutual parting and we would both see it coming. He wasn’t going
to just leave; he was going to put in everything he had. He did
and so did I, and fortunately it all worked out!
MORE: 10 Signs He’s a Keeper
If a man says he loves you but doesn’t want to try anymore, or
gives up because he thinks it’s too hard, then it probably
wasn’t true love. You don’t give up on love unless you have put
everything you have into making it work, and it was just
impossible (and this is something that both people will usually
be able to clearly recognize).
There are obviously times where someone can truly love you, but
because you’re just not right for each other, or maybe because
you aren’t willing to put in the necessary effort, that he will
walk away even though he loves you, but only after giving it his
all.
11. You don’t worry how he feels—you just know.
Similar to what I said in my article about how to know if a guy
likes you, when a guy loves you, you just know. It’s obvious to
you and to everyone around you. You’ll have a feeling of peace
and calm and just knowing.
When someone truly loves you, his behavior and way of being with
you won’t arouse feelings of insecurity/fear/anxiety/worry in
you (as long as you yourself are emotionally healthy. If you’re
prone to having those feelings no matter what, then they are
probably generated within you).
Check in with yourself and see where it’s coming from. Usually,
when we feel uneasy, like the rug is going to be pulled out from
under us, it’s because the relationship isn’t standing on a
stable ground because the guy isn’t sure of how he feels. When
someone loves you, he shows it and you just know it, even before
he says it.
I hope after reading this article you’re totally clear on the
signs a man is in love with you. But before you go, I need to
tell you that there’s a crucial period in your relationship that
will determine if you and he end up together, or if the
relationship falls apart. At some point, he will start to back
off. He may lose interest, he may pull away, he may suddenly
need space. Do you know how to handle it when he does this? If
not, be sure to read this: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This...
The next problem you may run into is when he gets to the point
where he asks himself: Is this the woman I want to commit to for
the long-term? The fate of your relationship lies in the answer
to that question. Do you know how men decide if a woman is
girlfriend, or even wife, material? The type of woman that a man
wants to commit himself to? If not you need to read this next:
The #1 Things Men Desire in a Woman
Take The Quiz: Doe
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