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       #Post#: 45--------------------------------------------------
       Providing therapy only by a female therapist following a sexual
       abuse by a man
   DIR By: Slavka
       Date: May 22, 2018, 7:27 am
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       The topic was: If a woman has been sexually abused by a male,
       there are some that state that therapy for them must be provided
       by a female therapist.
       I don't think this is set in stone but it comes down to the
       choice of that particular individual. I have worked with quite a
       few women, who were sexually abused when young and they found
       working with male therapists awkward and decided they wanted a
       female therapist. One of them said that the voice of the
       therapist  and his dark, dimly lit room reminded her of her
       abuser and the room it took place. The memories came flooding
       for her and she had to get out.
       I worked in the community mental health teams for a few years
       and such preferences were always respected. E.g. we had a male
       client who only worked with female support workers because he
       was abused by men when young. Or elderly ladies wouldn't accept
       care from a male carer and their choice was always respected.
       I think it should be the same with therapy.
       #Post#: 51--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Providing therapy only by a female therapist following a
       sexual abuse by a man
   DIR By: VicTS
       Date: May 23, 2018, 4:30 am
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       This is a subject that I have considered for a while.  I work in
       an organisation that provides support for woman who have been
       sexually abused as children.  One of the stipulations of this is
       that we are all women counselors and the office staff are all
       women.  It is about empowering women to feel safe.  As Slavka
       describes, a lot of the women appreciate this.
       However, having considered it I wondered about the intensity and
       scope of the therapy, if a client needs to confront her past,
       which most do, it may be actually helpful to be faced with a
       male therapist to work with the memories that are surfacing at a
       faster rate than they may with a female therapist.
       This I have felt was discriminatory, it is a hinting at all
       males are sexual perpetrators and the fear continues for the
       victims.  In fact, they remain victims not survivors because we
       are sanitising the space they have therapy and they could leave
       the office and walk straight into a man!  The world is full of
       them and clients live in the world with men.  I have often felt
       that for a client to get the intensive therapy they require, the
       fear they feel may be enforced by the fact that it is only
       female therapists.  If they met a male therapist with the right
       skills this may aid their recovery and therapeutic journey.
       In my organisation there have been structural changes are we
       have had male workmen in the building, this has not been
       announced and the clients have not complained.
       I also work outreach in a building that has visitors of both
       sexes and clients also have not felt it was an issues.
       I am not disagreeing with the idea of a female only therapist,
       but have considered the discriminatory aspects, this could be
       discrimination against male therapists.
       #Post#: 56--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Providing therapy only by a female therapist following a
       sexual abuse by a man
   DIR By: Slavka
       Date: May 23, 2018, 6:47 am
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       Vic you raise an interesting point; it could be discriminatory
       towards male therapists and I liked your expression of
       'sanitising the space they have therapy'. Yes, they have to
       confront those issues and surely they will walk into a man. It's
       about healing the trauma and rebuilding their self confidence
       and esteem so they can function around men. But they also need
       to feel safe in therapy...I feel a personal choice should be
       important here but I appreciate that not all women may have that
       choice (not sure if NHS waiting lists for therapy accommodate
       preferences).
       Conversely, a male therapist may not feel it's appropriate to
       work with women who were abused or they may feel awkward.
       It certainly is interesting to  ponder on.
       #Post#: 60--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Providing therapy only by a female therapist following a
       sexual abuse by a man
   DIR By: VicTS
       Date: May 23, 2018, 7:17 am
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       Yes, good points, I wonder how male therapists could feel, they
       may fear they would say the wrong thing or their physical
       appearance would be frightening.  A male therapist on Facebook
       posted to a group if he should wear shorts in the hotter
       weather, the replies were mainly saying yes but they need to be
       at knee level.  He then added that he was 6 foot 2 and 24
       stone!!!  I has a picture of his legs taking over the room!
       Seriously though, that could be a trigger for a client.
       It is certainly worth thought and pondering!
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