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#Post#: 1217--------------------------------------------------
Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Hermes_The_Exile Date: August 29, 2011, 2:57 am
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He couldn’t tell them apart.
“Mr. Weasley and, er, Mr. Weasley, I presume?”
The red-haired boys nodded, and Argus Filch tilted his head
back, taking stock of them.
“Here to serve detention, yes?”
The one on the left — Filch couldn’t think of the name — nodded
while the one on the right said, “Yes sir, we replaced Professor
Snape’s mistletoe berries —”
“— with owl pellets —”
“— and no one knew the difference —”
“— until all the cauldrons melted —”
— and Snape said he wanted to flay us —”
“— but it wasn’t allowed —”
“— so he sent us to you.”
The boys spoke in such rapid succession, one to the other and
back again, that Filch had to jerk his head back and forth to
follow them. Mrs. Norris, clutched to his chest, did the same
with her feline eyes.
“Right. Well. I have to go do rounds. You two will stay here
until, oh, 9 o’clock should do it, and file these student
complaint records.”
The twin boys peered behind Filch into his office.
Healthy-sized stacks of index cards sat on his desk, in no
discernible order.
“File them in alphabetical order by surname. No magic. I want
to see progress when I get back, yeah?”
“Yes, sir.”
Twenty minutes and five paper cuts later between the two of
them, George Weasley sucked on his bleeding index finger and
glared at his twin.
“Put owl dung pellets in the mistletoe jars. It’ll be a laugh.
I’m sitting here bleeding to death.”
Fred, who had three paper cuts of his own, rolled his eyes.
“That cut’s gonna look like nothing compared with the Howler
Mum’s gonna send.”
George grimaced.
“She won’t send one for that, will she?”
“Dunno. Percy, Charlie and Bill never got any. We’re treading
new territory.”
Near as they could tell, “complaint records” were nothing more
than written grudges that Filch held against Hogwarts students
past and present. The twins read some of the more humorous ones
allowed.
“ ‘Johnson, Angelina. 4 September 1989. Looked at me funny in
the second-floor corridor.’ "
“ ‘Flint, Marcus. 13 October 1988. Caught with contraband
literature of an adult nature.’ "
“Oh, here’s one for Lee,” Fred said. “ ‘Jordan, Lee. 24
February 1990. Tried to Transfigure Mrs. Norris into a horned
slug.’ ”
Some of the records were from that school year, but others
were years old, vendettas against students long since gone.
Eventually they made progress on one box. George couldn’t reach
the shelf to put it away, so he pulled out the middle drawer of
Filch’s desk to stand on and get some height. After replacing
the box, he noticed that the drawer held a variety of
interesting things.
“Fred, look in here.”
Fred put down the card in his hand and looked inside the drawer
to which George had gestured. He picked up what turned out to be
a trick wand, waving it around. As what smelled like pumpkin
juice sprayed from its tip, George picked up a yellowed piece of
paper.
“What’s that?” Fred asked.
“Dunno, looks like a piece of parchment or something. Nothing’s
written on it,” George said, unfolding it and turning it over
and around to be sure.
“Invisible ink?” Fred asked.
George shrugged. “Could be. Not sure why he’d confiscate it,
though.”
Fred smirked. “Maybe he thought someone had written something
about him on it?”
“Paranoid git, isn’t he?” George said.
The two of them spent a few minutes puzzling over the paper
before putting it on the desk and returning to the still-sizable
stack of remaining index cards.
“He should be back soon, shouldn’t he?” Fred asked. “It’s
nearly 9. We’ve got early Charms tomorrow.”
“I’m going to pretend you weren’t worried about being alert for
a class,” George sniffed.
“Why does he care about some dung bomb someone left in his
office five years ago?” Fred flicked that card across the desk
before going to retrieve it.
“You know, the rate we’re going, we’ll end up here again,”
George mused.
“Well typically we are up to no good,” Fred quipped.
George laughed, then stopped suddenly. His blue eyes went wide.
“George? Georgie?” Fred turned his head to see what his twin
was looking at. There, on the desk, sat the parchment they’d
retrieved from Filch’s desk drawer. Only now it had the
smallest, subtlest writing on it in crisp black ink.
Ah, but do you solemnly swear?
#Post#: 1239--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: The-Peake Date: August 29, 2011, 6:56 am
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Awesome! The last line in particular...
#Post#: 1245--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Mufasa Date: August 29, 2011, 8:01 am
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I love it. :D
#Post#: 1271--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Winter_Is_Coming Date: August 29, 2011, 12:53 pm
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I like it! I always did wonder how Fred and George figured out
the exact wording to activate the map. Filch could have been
nastier, though. He needed to wheeze and grumble more. ;D
#Post#: 1293--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Hermes_The_Exile Date: August 29, 2011, 1:43 pm
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Yeah, I think I did sacrifice a little Filchiness for the sake
of brevity.
#Post#: 1345--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: JustCallMeTaylor Date: August 29, 2011, 6:22 pm
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Haha that was great! I can see that being Sirius or James.
Probably Sirius though
#Post#: 22836--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Loony_Gaby Date: February 7, 2012, 3:24 pm
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Just read it. Very nice! :D
#Post#: 22840--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: StealYellowMen Date: February 7, 2012, 4:25 pm
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Aww I liked it.
And now I'm kind of sad. Poor Freddie.
#Post#: 23015--------------------------------------------------
Re: Up to No Good: A Fred & George Oneshot
By: Aussie50 Date: February 9, 2012, 6:35 am
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You captured the essence of the novels and the characters so
well. I've also wondered how they would have worked out how to
first read the map and you've came up with probably the most
reasonable and perfect explanation.
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