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       #Post#: 2450--------------------------------------------------
       Consumed by Grace
       By: Amaris Date: March 31, 2018, 10:18 pm
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       Amaris was small inside herself...the Holy Mother had burst
       through the wall she had built between them. Now Mary was in
       control..nothing would keep Mary from Michael ... nothing but
       the destruction of this body. The Faith radiating outward was
       overwhelming inside, but Amaris could not stand back from
       it..there was nowhere inside far enough away. Everything that
       was not Mary was crushed to a tiny ball in a tiny corner of what
       had been ...just moments ago...Amaris Obertus. So strong was
       Mary's conviction...so overwhelming her devotion ... so great
       her love. All that was Amaris..all she loves...all she
       believed...all she had become and was to become had taken refuge
       here. Amaris gathered it to her and curled around it like a
       dragon protecting it's hoard. She buried herself in memories of
       what is hers. Thomas' smile...the soft fur of Phobos and
       Deimos...her Sire's beauty ...her Brother's wisdom ... Andrej 's
       strength...Aylina's gentleness...Gavri'el's devotion. ..Mannix's
       uneasy friendship and Mikhail's easy laughter...she held them
       all, and more. She drifted...
       She supposed she may die here ..this is what they say it was
       like..dying. Watching your life play out... good and bad ...but
       yours. She wondered if she would stand before God..and if she
       did would He see the face she was born with, the face her Sire
       had gifted her through his devotion, or nothing but her tainted
       blood and wicked deeds. Would He consider her sacrifice worthy
       of Heaven?..or would He judge her a fool and cast her away? She
       supposed it didn't really matter . Who was she to question God's
       judgement? But in her heart she knew the truth. She was born
       with the mark of Caine ...not as strong as it was since her
       embrace...but there none the less. She was not worthy of Heaven
       .... but Michael ...Michael may be - despite his blood ... the
       figure in black would take this blood and leave Michael pure
       again ... worthy of God's forgiveness and of Heaven. Her body
       would be a tool in assuring his ascension ...  she would suffer
       in hopes of his redemption. For the hope that other Caineites
       could follow him to Heaven ... that Michael could be proof to
       the Almighty that some were worthy of his forgiveness. She
       drifted ...
       She could hear them but would not dare look. She did not want to
       know...she curled tight around herself ...her memories. She
       wrapped her arms around herself and imagined Thomas was holding
       her. She sobbed like a lost child both from fear and the self
       delusion. She let her mind play out fantasies of what could have
       been and what never could have been but would have been
       wonderful all the same. She wished she had never been born- had
       been born normal.. had not survived embrace...had not left the
       city...had never returned once she had...she wished Thomas never
       loved her ..not because he was not everything to her ... but
       because he could avoid this pain of another loss. She realized
       how much she truly loves him and hopes he can forgive her for
       allowing this to happen. For being foolish enough to go out and
       into the city on a night like that. She drifted...
       She was cold. No emotion touched her. She only knew that she was
       not done. That she would not fade away once Mary was done with
       her. She sat silently within herself and watched and listened...
       because regardless of the outcome, once this was over, she would
       fight for her body back. She would not give up so easily. She
       was not done. She would make it back if she had to drag the
       denizens of Hell back with her. Mary had had her life ... she
       had no right to take hers away. She focused....and waited....
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