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       #Post#: 3950--------------------------------------------------
       Underneath 
       By: Amaris Date: May 12, 2018, 4:50 pm
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       Upon waking that everything was normal, but somewhere on the
       walk back to her household something changed. Maybe it was the
       memories attached to dress she had chosen, or the way the air
       carried the scent of the gardenias from the garden as she passed
       St John's. Whatever it was, she was melancholy by the time she
       reached the back gate. She entered the door to the basement and
       could hear his voice as he worked in the shop. She left him to
       his work and went upstairs to check on the children, check in
       with Andrea and Aliyn, and then sat in the library a while
       considering her options for the evening...she made a decision
       and left the library.
       She walked down the hall with a singular purpose. Deep in
       thought, had she passed anyone she would not have noticed.
       Turning the corner, she stopped at the door just long enough to
       open it and step inside. A moment to burn blood and her eyes
       glowed red as they scanned the room before moving again. She
       crossed to the bed and climbed in.
       Everything here carried his scent. She hugged his pillow and
       curled around it as if she could absorb something of his essence
       into herself. Breaking down her body shook convulsively, the
       dry, silent  lament of one who neither shed tears nor needed to
       breathe. She did not realize until this moment how deeply she
       missed him .. or maybe she just could not admit it until now.
       But 'now' hurt like tearing the scab off of a wound that never
       healed and finding the infection it hid. She missed everything
       about him, the emptiness feeling like drowning...burying her
       face in his pillow she whimpered until each wave of loss ebbed.
       She was torn down by the reality of missing someone who was
       right there every day. She curled tighter about his pillow and
       prayed the sorrow would not tear her apart.
       #Post#: 3952--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: earthdawn66 Date: May 12, 2018, 7:17 pm
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       *she was curled up when he door opened and she immediately could
       sense who it was. Gavriel stood in the doorway when he stepped
       inside and closed the door. He did not light the lamp but came
       closer to the bed*
       You are not yourself Amaris.... is there something i can do no
       matter how little it might be?
       *Was Gvariel but his tone had changed it seemed to have returned
       almost to the Feeling of when they wee away from the City*
       I am always here for you
       #Post#: 3954--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: Amaris Date: May 12, 2018, 8:19 pm
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       She wanted to sit up, to apologize for entering his room without
       permission, she wanted to do and say many things..but she
       didn't.  He sounded so ... normal, but she was afraid it was
       just her She swallowed instinctively and managed to whisper
       "I miss you, I just wanted to be near you without feeling like
       you hate me....to feel like you still...we...I just miss you."
       She curled tighter still around his pillow
       "Can I stay a while longer?"
       #Post#: 3955--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: earthdawn66 Date: May 13, 2018, 10:31 am
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       Of course you can stay. . .
       *he smiled at her*
       would you like me to stay with you
       #Post#: 3957--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: Amaris Date: May 13, 2018, 12:39 pm
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       She didn't so much answer as nod in the dark and reach out to
       pull him into his bed with her. Abandoning the pillow for his
       body she managed to wrap herself around him with her head
       resting on his chest before breaking down again. It took a few
       minutes before she could collect herself enough to speak and
       when she did it came out in a rush of words
       "I am sorry I am so selfish, maybe it is human nature, or
       kindred nature to be so...I suspect the truth is that I am just
       a horrid spoiled child...I am sorry for every awful thing I have
       done to you...I am sorry for sculpting you into someone else to
       comfort myself ...I am sorry for not being mature enough to
       handle my own emotions..and am still struggling with it. I am
       sorry I hurt you in every way possible, and that my blood
       allowed me to do these things long after a normal man would have
       walked away- ran away. I am sorry I couldn't understand that
       love does not have to be taken from one to be given to
       another... I know I do not deserve your forgiveness...but I miss
       you so badly it makes my bones ache...and I cannot pretend any
       longer that I do not love you ... "
       She became suddenly quiet as the realization hit her...she had
       dug through the debris and found the truth. She dissolved back
       into the tearless sobbing that she had momentarily gained
       control of.
       #Post#: 3961--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: earthdawn66 Date: May 13, 2018, 4:40 pm
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       *he just laid there and every little moment she bore more of her
       soul he was a little closer until at the end he was nearly
       beneath her as she had curled up tightly with him. Words to
       comfort her escaped him as he was processing all she said and
       the only thing that escaped his lips*
       Forgiven
       *his arm around her body  and along her spine did he know her
       body yes he did he knew every spot on her she enjoyed and those
       she did not*
       #Post#: 3965--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: Amaris Date: May 13, 2018, 5:47 pm
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       She laid there mostly on him, listening to the steady beat of
       his heart
       "I have lived more than four centuries, in all of that time and
       all that transpired within it, the things I have done to you are
       the ones I am ashamed of. Losing your love is my greatest
       regret. I don't know what to do to lessen the damage, each time
       I try it seems I make it worse."
       She looked up at him in the darkness, without the ability, he
       was only a vague shape, but that was okay, she was afraid of
       what she may see if he were to look back
       "Thank you for forgiving me, perhaps now I can work on forgiving
       myself. Could you tell me what I have to do ... what I need to
       do to win your love again?"
       #Post#: 3967--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: earthdawn66 Date: May 14, 2018, 5:47 am
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       Never lost.  It was hurt ripped and crumpled. . But was always
       there. . It just took time to adjust to the different
       circumstances we find ourselves in
       * She could feel his hands on her face cupping it siftly*
       #Post#: 3969--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: Amaris Date: May 14, 2018, 7:54 am
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       "I don't know how you could love me after all I have done. I
       thrust these different circumstances upon us, yet I never wanted
       to hurt you."
       She moved up and kissed him softly, almost as if she were
       afraid, then laid her head back on his shoulder.
       I am afraid to look at you. Since all of this happened, your
       eyes have been so cold. I'm frightened of finding all of this to
       be pretty words meant to appease me ... I'm afraid it's only
       blood making you say these things, not your heart. ... I am
       afraid your eyes will hold more truth than your words."
       #Post#: 3972--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Underneath 
       By: earthdawn66 Date: May 14, 2018, 11:58 am
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       Don't need to be afraid I have come full circle from love. To
       betrayal to hate to anger ti understanding back to love
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