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       #Post#: 19--------------------------------------------------
       Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
   DIR By: Bipolar Girl
       Date: August 31, 2010, 2:44 pm
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       When I was in a crisis of mind my best friend of 28 years
       deserted me. He told me, you can't stop talking and I can't
       handle it. You won't shut up. What I did not know and he did not
       know is that I was in the midst of a melt down/break down when
       he deserted me. Shortly thereafter he said this to me I was off
       to the nut house for a stay. Rattling around in my brain were
       the words he said to me before he left.
       That gay fucker! I stood by him when he came out of the closet!
       I was his friend when he was in the closet and held his hand
       when he came out. I defended him to everyone when he came out. I
       was his best girlfriend. I was his beard when he wanted to hide
       that he was he was gay. After 28 years I have a problem with
       talking too much? Oh, fuck you! Fuck you and the horse you rode
       in one. Go to one of your gay bars, turn the bar stool upside
       down and sit and spin. I was livid. I was in the hospital in a
       rage. I was already there for being manic, but my rage just sent
       me in irritable manic and tipped the scales to cause the
       hospital to say...she is really fucked up. Listen to her
       screaming. Who is this Jeff guy she wants to kick his ass? Why
       is she kicking the wall? Go give her a shot to calm down.
       If there was any time when I did NOT need a friend to leave me
       it was when my brain was melting, but that was when he left. I
       could not stop him. I could not prevent it. 28 years of
       friendship was thrown out the window because I was losing it and
       he had no patience for me.
       I think anyone and everyone who struggles with Bipolar has at
       some point in time been abandoned by friends or family members.
       It sucks, but it happens and we have to deal with it. We can't
       act like it didn't happen because it did.
       Typically, the person will abandon you when you are at your
       lowest. They don't leave when things are good and you are
       stable. They leave when you are unstable and things are bad.
       They leave when you need them the most. They leave when it hurts
       the most.
       Let's talk about it.
       #Post#: 20--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
   DIR By: Bipolar Girl
       Date: August 31, 2010, 2:54 pm
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       On a side note: I used to have a group of 20 friends that I was
       in charge of. We did a lot of activities. I was the coordinator.
       I got sick with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and starting
       sleeping all the time. I was no longer available to them. I
       stopped answering the phone. I stopped answering my emails. When
       I did reply I explained I was diagnosed with CFS and I was very
       sick. *Poof* they all evaporated like water on a hot summer day.
       I haven't seen or heard them in years. All it took was telling
       them, I am sick.
       I guess they were only shallow, fun friends. If I was not around
       to plan fun activities and hold the group together I was of no
       use to them, so they dropped me.
       I very carefully hid from them the fact that I had Bipolar. If I
       had to take my meds in front of them and they asked me what I
       was taking....I said, I'm taking vitamins. I lied my ass off.
       Like I would tell them truth? No way. Typically, I never the
       tell the truth when asked this question. I tell people, I am
       taking vitamins and supplements. Then they say, oh. Then the
       subject is dropped. If I was say, I am taking medication that
       would cause their antenna to go up. What? Why? What for? What is
       wrong with you? What are you taking? Show me what you are
       taking. No way I am going through that shit, so I lie.
       I know friends lie to me all the time about things going on in
       their lives, so there is no reason for me to feel bad about
       lying to them. Besides it is a privacy issue. I am protecting my
       privacy.
       #Post#: 29--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
   DIR By: Bighpolarbear
       Date: September 3, 2010, 2:01 am
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       I feel i should reply to this post today, Because i am feeling a
       little bit sensitive about this topic today.  I would not go so
       far as saying that they are all "gay fuckers" but i am hurt by
       what feels like abandonment in a time of need by my so called
       friends. In one year I have managed to lose my life savings. my
       home, my parent and now my so called friends... All because I am
       meant to have a illness called Bi polar!
       I wonder how people would feel, if say ??? my friend broke his
       or her leg, and i refused to speak to them again.... They would
       look at me as being a freak and nasty. But because i have an
       illness that is not physical evident, its ok for them, people
       see that acceptable because people are afraid of what they do
       not understands..... BULL SHIT, its  discrimination, and
       although its frowned on, IT happens all the time.... >:(
       #Post#: 30--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
   DIR By: Bipolar Girl
       Date: September 3, 2010, 2:40 pm
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       Re: Bighpolarbear
       That is a lot to take in one year. I am so sorry. I feel for
       you. That is a lot of significant losses so quickly.
       You are correct. It is indeed discrimination. You are correct.
       It does happen all the time.
       Maybe we need to tattoo them on their forehead so we can know
       the people who are not true friends when we first meet them?
       That is how things would be if I ran the world. LOL Oh, I have a
       rich fantasy world.
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