DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
confessionsofabpgirl
HTML https://confessionsofabpgirl.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: General Discussion
*****************************************************
#Post#: 19--------------------------------------------------
Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
DIR By: Bipolar Girl
Date: August 31, 2010, 2:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
When I was in a crisis of mind my best friend of 28 years
deserted me. He told me, you can't stop talking and I can't
handle it. You won't shut up. What I did not know and he did not
know is that I was in the midst of a melt down/break down when
he deserted me. Shortly thereafter he said this to me I was off
to the nut house for a stay. Rattling around in my brain were
the words he said to me before he left.
That gay fucker! I stood by him when he came out of the closet!
I was his friend when he was in the closet and held his hand
when he came out. I defended him to everyone when he came out. I
was his best girlfriend. I was his beard when he wanted to hide
that he was he was gay. After 28 years I have a problem with
talking too much? Oh, fuck you! Fuck you and the horse you rode
in one. Go to one of your gay bars, turn the bar stool upside
down and sit and spin. I was livid. I was in the hospital in a
rage. I was already there for being manic, but my rage just sent
me in irritable manic and tipped the scales to cause the
hospital to say...she is really fucked up. Listen to her
screaming. Who is this Jeff guy she wants to kick his ass? Why
is she kicking the wall? Go give her a shot to calm down.
If there was any time when I did NOT need a friend to leave me
it was when my brain was melting, but that was when he left. I
could not stop him. I could not prevent it. 28 years of
friendship was thrown out the window because I was losing it and
he had no patience for me.
I think anyone and everyone who struggles with Bipolar has at
some point in time been abandoned by friends or family members.
It sucks, but it happens and we have to deal with it. We can't
act like it didn't happen because it did.
Typically, the person will abandon you when you are at your
lowest. They don't leave when things are good and you are
stable. They leave when you are unstable and things are bad.
They leave when you need them the most. They leave when it hurts
the most.
Let's talk about it.
#Post#: 20--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
DIR By: Bipolar Girl
Date: August 31, 2010, 2:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
On a side note: I used to have a group of 20 friends that I was
in charge of. We did a lot of activities. I was the coordinator.
I got sick with chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and starting
sleeping all the time. I was no longer available to them. I
stopped answering the phone. I stopped answering my emails. When
I did reply I explained I was diagnosed with CFS and I was very
sick. *Poof* they all evaporated like water on a hot summer day.
I haven't seen or heard them in years. All it took was telling
them, I am sick.
I guess they were only shallow, fun friends. If I was not around
to plan fun activities and hold the group together I was of no
use to them, so they dropped me.
I very carefully hid from them the fact that I had Bipolar. If I
had to take my meds in front of them and they asked me what I
was taking....I said, I'm taking vitamins. I lied my ass off.
Like I would tell them truth? No way. Typically, I never the
tell the truth when asked this question. I tell people, I am
taking vitamins and supplements. Then they say, oh. Then the
subject is dropped. If I was say, I am taking medication that
would cause their antenna to go up. What? Why? What for? What is
wrong with you? What are you taking? Show me what you are
taking. No way I am going through that shit, so I lie.
I know friends lie to me all the time about things going on in
their lives, so there is no reason for me to feel bad about
lying to them. Besides it is a privacy issue. I am protecting my
privacy.
#Post#: 29--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
DIR By: Bighpolarbear
Date: September 3, 2010, 2:01 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I feel i should reply to this post today, Because i am feeling a
little bit sensitive about this topic today. I would not go so
far as saying that they are all "gay fuckers" but i am hurt by
what feels like abandonment in a time of need by my so called
friends. In one year I have managed to lose my life savings. my
home, my parent and now my so called friends... All because I am
meant to have a illness called Bi polar!
I wonder how people would feel, if say ??? my friend broke his
or her leg, and i refused to speak to them again.... They would
look at me as being a freak and nasty. But because i have an
illness that is not physical evident, its ok for them, people
see that acceptable because people are afraid of what they do
not understands..... BULL SHIT, its discrimination, and
although its frowned on, IT happens all the time.... >:(
#Post#: 30--------------------------------------------------
Re: Friends and Family Deserting You in a Time of Need
DIR By: Bipolar Girl
Date: September 3, 2010, 2:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Re: Bighpolarbear
That is a lot to take in one year. I am so sorry. I feel for
you. That is a lot of significant losses so quickly.
You are correct. It is indeed discrimination. You are correct.
It does happen all the time.
Maybe we need to tattoo them on their forehead so we can know
the people who are not true friends when we first meet them?
That is how things would be if I ran the world. LOL Oh, I have a
rich fantasy world.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 1