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       #Post#: 1491--------------------------------------------------
       Dirty Frank's character profile (rated 18.)
       By: guest7 Date: July 4, 2016, 5:19 pm
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       Name, last: Unknown
       Name, first:Frank (probably)
       Name (s), middle: Unknown
       Nickname: Dirty Frank
       Age: 30-ish
       Date of birth: Unknown. This leads to Dirty Frank celebrating
       his birthday with mass quantities of alcohol at least twice
       every week.
       Race: Den, but only barely.
       Place of birth: Somewhere between Dirty Frank's mother's legs.
       Religion: Probably pure heathen, but if he were forced to choose
       a god, would probably go with both Golawan and Skeus, as they
       are both deities who know how to appreciate a good piss-up.
       Sexual orientation: Will go for anything in a skirt, barring a
       Caledonian.
       Marital status: Single. Are you surprised?
       Height: 5' 11"-ish
       Weight: 22 stone (mostly made up of dirt.)
       Eye colour: Muddy brown
       Distinguishing features: Only has one eye. Has a fine collection
       of interesting skin diseases. Smells like rotting pilchards.
       Natural hair colour: Unknown. It's too matted with dirt for
       anyone to tell.
       Primary language: English (somewhat slurred)
       Secondary language (s): Gibberish
       Family: If anyone is related to Dirty Frank, they sure as hell
       aren't admitting it. Rumoured to have a twin brother named
       Smelly Bob.
       Children: Are you joking?
       Town/village of residence: Of no fixed abode
       Type of owning: Usually a ditch behind the local tavern.
       Household size: One. His residence is more of a bachelor ditch.
       Blood type: 50% of his blood is O. The rest is a mixture of
       whisky, brandy, rum and methylated spirits.
       Disabilities: Being a mad, one eyed, smelly lecherous Piss
       artist.
       State of mind: Full bore Looney.
       Mental disabilities: See above. Also, he never realises that
       women are actually repelled by him.
       Mannerisms: Speaks in third person all the time.
       Noted quirks: Ridiculously confident in his seduction techniques
       for a man who smells like a latrine.
       Likes: Strong liquor. Chasing women. Hot Koth pussy.
       Dislikes: Being beaten up by outraged husbands and boyfriends.
       Enforced sobriety.
       Smoker: No, even if he does look like he's recently been set on
       fire.
       Alcoholic: I believe we have covered this.
       Narcotics: No. When you're as nuts as Dirty Frank, you gain no
       advantage from being stoned.
       Other addictions: Women
       Criminal record: 82 counts of drunk and disorderly, 93 counts of
       indecent exposure, 152 counts of spying through the hole in the
       wall in the Chaosgate bathhouse on ladies ' night, 353 counts of
       sexual harassment, and 811 counts of Leering With Intent To
       Cause A Breach Of The Peace.
       Background: Dirty Frank is a disgusting lecherous bum that the
       community of Chaosgate just can't seem to get rid of. The late
       Archduke of the Claw tolerated Frank's presence, as the
       drunkard's antics amused him greatly. The Crown is less tolerant
       of Frank's tomfoolery, especially the Koth women, as Dirty Frank
       has a very strong Koth fetish. There is one particular blonde
       Koth girl among the Crown who often dresses in white, who finds
       herself the regular recipient of Dirty Frank's unwelcome
       advances. The fact that he has yet to even learn her name is not
       a problem to Dirty Frank, who has made it his life's work to get
       into her panties. So far, all of Dirty Frank's attempts have
       ended with a brutal beating from the Elven girl's protector and
       fiancée, but this does not discourage the disingenuous dastard,
       who is convinced she is merely "playing hard to get." Opinion on
       Dirty Frank is divided among the Claw. Some think he's a gross,
       disgusting pervert, while others see him as a living embodiment
       of the values of the Claw. However, even Dirty Frank's harshest
       critics have a sneaking soft spot for the bucolic git. Frank may
       be a loony, but he's a happy loony, and even the most stony
       faced old Korr sometimes cracks a smile and shakes his head in
       amused disbelief when Dirty Frank bellows a chat-up line like "
       Dirty Frank thinks pretty elf lady has huge and shapely melons"
       at a bemused Koth female.
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