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#Post#: 27709--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funnies
By: Clay Death Date: August 24, 2015, 11:40 pm
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Redneck Joke
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?
Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
Redneck Joke
You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your
truck.
#Post#: 27734--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funnies
By: thetruth Date: August 25, 2015, 3:15 am
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[quote author=Clay Death link=topic=642.msg27709#msg27709
date=1440477651]
Redneck Joke
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?
Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
dneck Joke
You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your
truck.
[/quote]
Ha ha ha. That's mean.
Here's another one.
21 Rules That Men Have. Number 7 Is So True.
Men's Rules:
1) Men are not mind readers.
2) Learn to work the toilet seat, you’re a big girl. If it’s up,
put it down. You don’t hear us complaining when you leave it
down.
3) Crying is blackmail.
4) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!
5) "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
6) Come to us with problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
8) If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
9) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
10) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.
11) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to during
commercials.
12) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
we…
13) All men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a
fruit not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
14) If ask what is wrong and you say ‘Nothing’, we act like
nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.
15) If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an
answer you don’t want to hear...
16) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine... really.
17) Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
18) You have enough clothes.
19) You have too many shoes.
20) I am in shape, round is a shape!
21) Thank you for reading this, yes I know, I’m sleeping on the
couch tonight… but did you know men don’t really mind that? It’s
like camping…
#Post#: 27739--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funnies
By: Clay Death Date: August 25, 2015, 10:32 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=thetruth link=topic=642.msg27734#msg27734
date=1440490523]
[quote author=Clay Death link=topic=642.msg27709#msg27709
date=1440477651]
Redneck Joke
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?
Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
dneck Joke
You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your
truck.
[/quote]
Ha ha ha. That's mean.
Here's another one.
21 Rules That Men Have. Number 7 Is So True.
Men's Rules:
1) Men are not mind readers.
2) Learn to work the toilet seat, you’re a big girl. If it’s up,
put it down. You don’t hear us complaining when you leave it
down.
3) Crying is blackmail.
4) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!
5) "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
6) Come to us with problem only if you want help solving it.
That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
8) If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
9) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
10) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.
11) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to during
commercials.
12) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do
we…
13) All men see in only 16 colors. Peach, for example, is a
fruit not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
14) If ask what is wrong and you say ‘Nothing’, we act like
nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
the hassle.
15) If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an
answer you don’t want to hear...
16) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine... really.
17) Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
18) You have enough clothes.
19) You have too many shoes.
20) I am in shape, round is a shape!
21) Thank you for reading this, yes I know, I’m sleeping on the
couch tonight… but did you know men don’t really mind that? It’s
like camping…
[/quote]
ha ha ha ha ha.
too good.
I will add some too today.
#Post#: 27765--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funnies
By: EquineAnn Date: August 25, 2015, 3:18 pm
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Haha!
#Post#: 28130--------------------------------------------------
Re: Funnies
By: thetruth Date: August 30, 2015, 7:39 pm
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[quote author=Clay Death link=topic=642.msg27708#msg27708
date=1440477552]
Redneck Joke
You might be a redneck if you let your sixteen year old daughter
smoke at the dinner table...
...in front of her kids.
[/quote]
Oh wow! That's funny.
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