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#Post#: 9859--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Jackiejokeman Date: May 22, 2011, 4:35 pm
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Did you hear about the new drink called the Osama Bin Laden?
2 shots and a splash of water...
#Post#: 9860--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Jackiejokeman Date: May 22, 2011, 4:46 pm
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A federal grant was offered to three universities to determine
why the head of a peenis is shaped the way it is:
MIT spent $100,000 and determined it's shape increased the
probability of sperm reaching it's objective.
Berkley spent $200,000 finding that it provided increased
stimulation which helps women achieve orgasm.
Alabama spent $300 and reported that the head of the peniis is
designed that way to keep your hand from sliding off the end.
#Post#: 9866--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Jackiejokeman Date: May 22, 2011, 5:01 pm
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A man is sitting at a bar getting hammered because he lost his
job,
and the bartender finally cuts him off.
Piissed, the man staggers out of the bar.
As he walks outside the front door,
a nun happens to be walking past.......
the drunk man immediately attacks her,
punches her until she falls.
He kicks her a few times -
then reaches down,
pulls her up to his face and yells
"You're not so tough now, are ya, Batman?!"
#Post#: 9871--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Jackiejokeman Date: May 22, 2011, 5:24 pm
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that says
"Take the $500 Challenge"
He asks the bartender about it and is told that it is a gimmick
that the boss is using to drum up business.
The guy asks the bartender what you have to do.
The bartender says that there are three parts to the challenge.
First, you have to chug an entire bottle of vodka.
Next, you have to go out back and pull a sore tooth out of the
mouth of the boss's pet alligator.
Then, you have to go to the house of an old lady who is the
boss's friend.
She's a virgin and you have to make her not a virgin anymore.
Do all three of these and you get the $500.
The guy accepts and the bartender opens the vodka bottle and
sets it on the bar.
The guy downs it. He is shown the back door to where the
alligator is and he staggers out.
The bartender then hears ten minutes of screaming, growling,
ripping, banging, and every other sound of violence that you can
imagine.
Finally, the guy stumbles back into the bar.
His clothes are torn, he's bloody and covered with puke.
He staggers up to the bartender and says,
"OK, where's the lady that needs her tooth pulled?"
#Post#: 9875--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Jackiejokeman Date: May 22, 2011, 5:36 pm
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"If Eve damned the whole human race for an apple,
what would she have done for a Klondike bar?"
#Post#: 9877--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: packrat Date: May 22, 2011, 6:04 pm
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With friends like that who needs enemies?
#Post#: 9894--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: chifaninva Date: May 22, 2011, 7:09 pm
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good one's!
#Post#: 9971--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: Grizzlybear34 Date: May 23, 2011, 6:09 am
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[quote author=BearFan link=topic=40.msg9809#msg9809
date=1306081656]
yes...blue ridge--ellijay area. you been there before?
[/quote]
We love it there, been about 5 times, before we made the move to
Tennessee. I was thinking about taking the family there or
Gatlinburg this weekend. Two different worlds, G-burg would
have more for the 20 year olds, Blue Ridge would be a lot more
relaxing...
#Post#: 10002--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: packrat Date: May 23, 2011, 11:12 am
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Didja ever feel this way?
HTML http://www.frontiernet.net/~packers12/pickles.gif
I do, sometimes.
My wife tells me this all the time.
#Post#: 10008--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Sidelines (04.12.11 - 09.10.15)
By: guest77 Date: May 23, 2011, 12:24 pm
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[quote author=Grizzlybear34 link=topic=40.msg9971#msg9971
date=1306148975]
We love it there, been about 5 times, before we made the move to
Tennessee. I was thinking about taking the family there or
Gatlinburg this weekend. Two different worlds, G-burg would
have more for the 20 year olds, Blue Ridge would be a lot more
relaxing...
[/quote]
We've been about that many times as well. It's just about the
right amount of time in the car from O-town in FL. Not a lot to
do but relax, fish, hike, tubing, etc., but that's why we go.
They even have an old-fashioned drive-in theatre in town. Don't
want to deal with all the tourist-y stuff like we see in the
City Beautiful. There is a big art festival in Blue Ridge this
weekend, we might check that out. Never went as far as
Gatlinburg but I hear it's nice too.
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