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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 25911--------------------------------------------------
Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Elmore 2.0
Date: February 13, 2019, 4:05 pm
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I personally haven't dealt with this but I saw this topic on
Slate.com and wondered what folks here thought. Usually, its the
other way around where people want homemade gifts made for free,
but what if you are getting homemade gifts for free and they
aren't to your taste and its from a family member?
Personally, I really don't like crocheted items that much,
unless its a baby blanket. Thoughts?
#Post#: 25912--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Jem
Date: February 13, 2019, 4:12 pm
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I would say thank you and do my best to use whatever is given to
me, but not feel obligated to use or display whatever the item
is. Unless it is a child who has made something for me, I don't
feel obligated to use or display something I don't want or like.
So like if someone made me a quilt that I don't like, I might
thank them and use it as a car blanket.
#Post#: 25913--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Despedina
Date: February 13, 2019, 4:18 pm
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My husbands grandmother and aunt made a quilt for us that was
the most horrid colors with ruffles on it. I kept it for about
5 or 6 years to see if I could find a use for it and I never
did. I finally sold it in a yard sale to 2 ladies that
absolutely loved it. I appreciated the work that went into it
but it was bad, and someone ended up with it that could display
it properly.
#Post#: 25914--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: February 13, 2019, 4:40 pm
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I'd probably shove it in the basement and bring it out when the
relative(s) visit. Don't know what I'd do if they're one of
those who visit all the time though :P. I don't like hurting
people's feelings and I don't really mind displaying ugly stuff
as long as it's not offensive. Of course this only works if you
have enough room.
#Post#: 25915--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: silversurfer
Date: February 13, 2019, 4:49 pm
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I love this!
--- Quote ---
> My husbands grandmother and aunt made a quilt for us that was
the most horrid colors with ruffles on it. I kept it for about
5 or 6 years to see if I could find a use for it and I never
did. I finally sold it in a yard sale to 2 ladies that
absolutely loved it. I appreciated the work that went into it
but it was bad, and someone ended up with it that could display
it properly.
--- End Quote ---
I can imagine the ladies posting somewhere "we were at a yard
sale and found this home made quilt in the most perfect colours
with so much detail that we just had to buy it! It has been in
pride of place on our couch since we got it"
As far as the topic goes, I wouldn't refuse a gift (home made or
otherwise). Once you have it, you can do what you want with it
(including regifting).
#Post#: 25917--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: lakey
Date: February 13, 2019, 5:20 pm
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I'd treat it the same as any other gift. I'd thank them, then do
whatever I wanted with it. I don't like bric-a-brac, or
decorative items that someone else picks out, cluttering up my
home. I have a relative who always gives me holiday decorations
that I will never use. I thank her, then after she's gone I
stick it in a closet. At the end of the year, I go through my
closets, basement, and garage looking for stuff I will never
use, and donate it. She's never asked about any of them. If she
did, I would tell her that I lost track of where I put it. Most
of the time it is just a matter of personal taste. Some people
love the old fashioned, vintage look of crocheted items, others
don't. By donating it, or selling it at a garage sale, someone
else can benefit.
#Post#: 25922--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: February 13, 2019, 8:21 pm
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When I saw this thread, I immediately thought of Aunt Clara’s
bunny suit from “A Christmas Story.”
#Post#: 25941--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Lilac
Date: February 14, 2019, 4:57 am
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Unsolicited gifts of homemade food get pitched in the garbage as
soon as possible. I'm picky about hygiene and ingredients, and
don't eat casserole-type food, or baked goods, so they are
wasted on me. When my mom was terminally ill we tried to ward
off the food but threw away an unfortunate amount of it.
I can see gifts of food in olden days when people had to cook
(or even grow/raise) from scratch, but we are within a mile of
four or five very nice markets, as are most households we know
-- or would just rather have a pizza. Going to the grocery
store was a welcome bit of respite. If people want to help
caregivers they should offer to sit with the ill person so the
carer can get out for an hour or two. Or run errands, take a
car to be cleaned, gassed up and detailed, take a dog to a
groomer or vet or otherwise take a load off the person who's
juggling so much.
Sorry, didn't mean to get on the soapbox there. ;)
As to handicrafts, it's a dilemma. I have a friend who makes
horrible-looking things out of smashed up glass or broken china
-- she calls them mosaics and uses grout to glue things to
bowling balls, plates, you name it. They're awful and it pains
me to see good vintage china (think Havilland) smashed up like
that. I keep them around for a while and then donate or throw
away. She made me a mosaic of a sentimental location in my life
and I can't throw that away; it's hanging in my living room and
I just avert my eyes.
The unwanted quilts -- if they are clean and sturdy, could they
be disguised with a duvet cover? then you'd get some use out of
them but not have to look at the colors/patterns?
#Post#: 25943--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Soop
Date: February 14, 2019, 7:32 am
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The problem I see with accepting gifts and saying nothing
(except thank you) is that a lot of work and money goes into
making some of these crafts like crocheted blankets or quilts.
If it's a one off, sure I'd say thank you and move on, but if
they are going to be repeat gifting me, I would feel incredibly
guilty not saying something.
Luckily for me, I only have 2 people in my life that are
'crafty'. My best friend knits and she knows not to make
anything wool or most other natural fibres except cotton (I'm
sensitive, makes me itch) and no hats (make my head itch, I'd
rather pull up my hood). My SIL does sewing, mostly quilts. I
was so happy that she gifted me with one this Christmas. It is
beautiful.
#Post#: 25944--------------------------------------------------
Re: Refusing homemade gifts you don't want
DIR By: Soop
Date: February 14, 2019, 7:35 am
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--- Quote from: Lilac link ---
>
> Unsolicited gifts of homemade food get pitched in the garbage
as soon as possible. I'm picky about hygiene and ingredients,
and don't eat casserole-type food, or baked goods, so they are
wasted on me. When my mom was terminally ill we tried to ward
off the food but threw away an unfortunate amount of it.
>
> I can see gifts of food in olden days when people had to cook
(or even grow/raise) from scratch, but we are within a mile of
four or five very nice markets, as are most households we know
-- or would just rather have a pizza. Going to the grocery
store was a welcome bit of respite. If people want to help
caregivers they should offer to sit with the ill person so the
carer can get out for an hour or two. Or run errands, take a
car to be cleaned, gassed up and detailed, take a dog to a
groomer or vet or otherwise take a load off the person who's
juggling so much.
>
> Sorry, didn't mean to get on the soapbox there. ;)
>
--- End Quote ---
Or you could ask them how to help. There are lots of people that
would appreciate the food. I think asking is really the key,
isn't it?
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