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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 25731--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: guest657
Date: February 11, 2019, 11:59 am
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--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> [quote author=Anon4Now link=topic=983.msg25713#msg25713
date=1549899617]
> I have read that living with animals and letting them lick
your face and hands, etc is actually very good for strengthening
your microbiome and immune system. The "dirt don't hurt" theory.
--- End Quote ---
I am not disputing this theory, but I do think there is
something to be said for it being a person's OWN pets and OWN
family germs. When my DD was little I did buy into the theory
that allowing her to build up her immunity was smart and
healthful. But I didn't encourage her to lick the floor in
public bathrooms......it was more like I didn't disinfect all of
her toys every day kind of thing. Playing in the sandbox was
just fine, but I would prevent her from eating a discarded
sandwich left by someone else.
Personally, I really do not enjoy or like animals and if one
licks me I am thoroughly disgusted. I don't even like petting
dogs with long hair, not even little yorkies or something.
Something about wet or matted long pet hair just makes me
recoil. So if a pet is licking actual plates or eating from the
same food there is no way in hades I would touch it.
[/quote]
Wow. That's quite a leap.
I don't have pets because I have allergies too. But I certainly
would never equate petting a dog/cat or letting them lick your
hand with licking the floor in a public bathroom. What even...?
And if you actually read the whole post, you will see that I
made the exact same point about own germs vs stranger germs -
EVEN IF the hosts had uber-powerful immune systems, it would not
be good for OP.
#Post#: 25733--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: Jem
Date: February 11, 2019, 12:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Anon4Now link ---
>
> [quote author=Jem link=topic=983.msg25721#msg25721
date=1549902250]
> [quote author=Anon4Now link=topic=983.msg25713#msg25713
date=1549899617]
> I have read that living with animals and letting them lick
your face and hands, etc is actually very good for strengthening
your microbiome and immune system. The "dirt don't hurt" theory.
--- End Quote ---
I am not disputing this theory, but I do think there is
something to be said for it being a person's OWN pets and OWN
family germs. When my DD was little I did buy into the theory
that allowing her to build up her immunity was smart and
healthful. But I didn't encourage her to lick the floor in
public bathrooms......it was more like I didn't disinfect all of
her toys every day kind of thing. Playing in the sandbox was
just fine, but I would prevent her from eating a discarded
sandwich left by someone else.
Personally, I really do not enjoy or like animals and if one
licks me I am thoroughly disgusted. I don't even like petting
dogs with long hair, not even little yorkies or something.
Something about wet or matted long pet hair just makes me
recoil. So if a pet is licking actual plates or eating from the
same food there is no way in hades I would touch it.
[/quote]
Wow. That's quite a leap.
I don't have pets because I have allergies too. But I certainly
would never equate petting a dog/cat or letting them lick your
hand with licking the floor in a public bathroom. What even...?
And if you actually read the whole post, you will see that I
made the exact same point about own germs vs stranger germs -
EVEN IF the hosts had uber-powerful immune systems, it would not
be good for OP.
[/quote]
I was making extreme examples, not equating. I am not a
germaphobe but everything in the OP's post screamed NOPE NOPE
NOPE to me. Exposure to germs generally is not the same as
eating off of a plate pre-licked by an animal.
#Post#: 25753--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: Bgolly
Date: February 11, 2019, 3:27 pm
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All the things the OP listed are a no go for me. I worked in a
daycare center and children who have just washed their hands can
pick their nose or absentmindedly rummage in their pants. If a
staff member doesn't witness this and have them rewash their
hands, any food they touch is then contaminated. Also think of
where the cat on the counter's paws have been. In the liter box
then up on the counter!!! I would do as the others have
suggested and not go back. Blame your allergies.
#Post#: 25763--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: guest725
Date: February 11, 2019, 5:12 pm
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I am not a germaphobe by anyone's standards, but this guy takes
the cake. Hopefully with gloves.
HTML https://www.rawstory.com/2019/02/fox-friends-host-says-hasnt-washed-hands-10-years-germs-not-real-thing-cant-see/
#Post#: 25766--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: Writer of Wrongs
Date: February 11, 2019, 5:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: puppylove link ---
>
> I am not a germaphobe by anyone's standards, but this guy
takes the cake. Hopefully with gloves.
>
>
HTML https://www.rawstory.com/2019/02/fox-friends-host-says-hasnt-washed-hands-10-years-germs-not-real-thing-cant-see/
>
--- End Quote ---
Ohhhhh that’s horrifying and disgusting and gross. (Not the
pizza part. Day-old pizza can be fine. But oh, ugh.)
#Post#: 25767--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: February 11, 2019, 5:31 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote ---
> . But I know that "My dog and cat allergies are acting up" and
"Oh darn, I already ate" aren't going to work as excuses
forever.
--- End Quote ---
Why wouldn't they work forever?
I mean, neither allergies nor food issues are temporary
situations for anybody, so why would they expect them to go away
for you?
#Post#: 25768--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: chigger
Date: February 11, 2019, 5:34 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Bgolly link ---
>
> All the things the OP listed are a no go for me. I worked in a
daycare center and children who have just washed their hands can
pick their nose or absentmindedly rummage in their pants. If a
staff member doesn't witness this and have them rewash their
hands, any food they touch is then contaminated. Also think of
where the cat on the counter's paws have been. In the liter box
then up on the counter!!! I would do as the others have
suggested and not go back. Blame your allergies.
>
--- End Quote ---
I totally agree with you! Little kids can be nasty! I also don't
want to see your pets on the counter licking the food (or
knowing that you let your pets lick the food). I would just use
my allergies as an excuse and stop going.
#Post#: 25796--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: Victoria
Date: February 12, 2019, 8:01 am
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> [quote]. But I know that "My dog and cat allergies are acting
up" and "Oh darn, I already ate" aren't going to work as excuses
forever.
--- End Quote ---
Why wouldn't they work forever?
I mean, neither allergies nor food issues are temporary
situations for anybody, so why would they expect them to go away
for you?
[/quote]
Because even when we go other places, Sarah often brings food,
or will announce that she's bringing a main dish and request
everyone else to bring sides. So after awhile it's going to
become obvious that I don't want to eat anything that she's
cooked. I've successfully asked that our latest meetup be held
at the non-profit center itself but Sarah has since said that
she's making breakfast. We also have meetups that are
specifically dinner/work meetups and have always been held at
her house.
It may be that trying to deflect and just letting the inevitable
happen is my only option, but if confronted directly about not
eating her food I really don't know what to say. I was already
called out once by the group when I used "oh darn, I already
ate," but that time I was able to say I'd been up for several
hours and had already been hungry.
#Post#: 25799--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: guest657
Date: February 12, 2019, 8:38 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Victoria link ---
>
> [quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=983.msg25767#msg25767
date=1549927872]
> [quote]. But I know that "My dog and cat allergies are acting
up" and "Oh darn, I already ate" aren't going to work as excuses
forever.
--- End Quote ---
Why wouldn't they work forever?
I mean, neither allergies nor food issues are temporary
situations for anybody, so why would they expect them to go away
for you?
[/quote]
Because even when we go other places, Sarah often brings food,
or will announce that she's bringing a main dish and request
everyone else to bring sides. So after awhile it's going to
become obvious that I don't want to eat anything that she's
cooked. I've successfully asked that our latest meetup be held
at the non-profit center itself but Sarah has since said that
she's making breakfast. We also have meetups that are
specifically dinner/work meetups and have always been held at
her house.
It may be that trying to deflect and just letting the inevitable
happen is my only option, but if confronted directly about not
eating her food I really don't know what to say. I was already
called out once by the group when I used "oh darn, I already
ate," but that time I was able to say I'd been up for several
hours and had already been hungry.
[/quote]
All you have to say is, "No thanks," or "I'll pass," or some
such. If anyone presses you for a reason, it's "I'm fine," or "I
don't care for any, thank you."
Then immediately - this is the important part - instantly
beandip and ask them a question about their favorite topic (in a
social setting) or the purpose of the meeting. Don't just sit
there and be grilled - completely change the subject.
And if they are real jerks about it and want to make an issue if
it, you can say, "It's really weird that you are so focused on
that." Then you go back to the unrelated topic as if they never
mentioned food at all.
If they won't drop it, see if you can move away from them and go
talk to someone else.
If you're stuck and can't circulate, I suppose some completely
rude person with no basic social skills might ask again after
that, but then you can say, "Thanks for your concern, I'm fine."
I would be pretty bristly by that point and might be tempted to
say, "For crying out loud, would you drop it?"
But whatever you say, it's important that you don't leave an air
gap - go back to the unrelated topic and ask them another
question or tell an anecdote or opinion of your own.
But if this group is that obnoxious, I can't imagine why you'd
be friends with them. So I'm going to assume they have normal
levels of conversation skills and it wouldn't need to go that
far.
The dynamic here is like when you're helping a little kid put
their shoes on, and they are chattering about wanting ice cream,
or something. You have to lead.
"Here's your left foot..." (Chatter chatter)
"Uh, huh, let's work on these shoes now."
(Chatter chatter)
"Honey, I need you to focus, please. Do up the Velcro now."
They will probably assume you have a new food
restriction/allergy/special diet and don't want to discuss it.
And that's okay.
#Post#: 25804--------------------------------------------------
Re: Managing different cleanliness/hygiene expectations with
friends
DIR By: Jem
Date: February 12, 2019, 9:30 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Anon4Now link ---
>
>
> And if they are real jerks about it and want to make an issue
if it, you can say, "It's really weird that you are so focused
on that." Then you go back to the unrelated topic as if they
never mentioned food at all.
>
--- End Quote ---
I like this phrasing for so many things that people comment on
that are none of their business!
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