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#Post#: 25440--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: lowspark
Date: February 7, 2019, 8:15 am
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--- Quote from: LadyRexall link ---
>
> Is this rude? Having one person sit in extreme comfort while
others endure the pain and discomfort of the other chairs
provided?
>
--- End Quote ---
The answer to this is, yes. It's rude.
If the hosts are unknowingly providing uncomfortable chairs, I
mean, if the hosts think they are perfectly comfortable and are
happy to sit in them, then that's one thing. One man's trash,
etc. But now the hosts are acknowledging that these chairs are
uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that even they don't want to sit
in them. And yet, they are expecting their guests to endure them
for 3-4 hours, three nights a week.
However! There are mitigating circumstances here. Regardless of
the reason, this couple is in the position of having to host
every single time.
Is it just the four of you or are others involved?
I think there are a couple of options here. Either all involved
chip in to buy a new set of mutually agreeable chairs, or each
person has their own chair (if they don't want to sit in the bad
ones) which they supply.
If you were hosting, what would your chairs be like? Why not
just bring one of those over? Or buy yourself a comfy folding
chair, they do sell padded ones, and leave that at their house.
#Post#: 25443--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: STiG
Date: February 7, 2019, 9:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: lowspark link ---
>
> [quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=975.msg25406#msg25406
date=1549492866]
> Is this rude? Having one person sit in extreme comfort while
others endure the pain and discomfort of the other chairs
provided?
>
--- End Quote ---
The answer to this is, yes. It's rude.
If the hosts are unknowingly providing uncomfortable chairs, I
mean, if the hosts think they are perfectly comfortable and are
happy to sit in them, then that's one thing. One man's trash,
etc. But now the hosts are acknowledging that these chairs are
uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that even they don't want to sit
in them. And yet, they are expecting their guests to endure them
for 3-4 hours, three nights a week.
However! There are mitigating circumstances here. Regardless of
the reason, this couple is in the position of having to host
every single time.
Is it just the four of you or are others involved?
I think there are a couple of options here. Either all involved
chip in to buy a new set of mutually agreeable chairs, or each
person has their own chair (if they don't want to sit in the bad
ones) which they supply.
If you were hosting, what would your chairs be like? Why not
just bring one of those over? Or buy yourself a comfy folding
chair, they do sell padded ones, and leave that at their house.
[/quote]
While I agree with the rest of your post, I don't agree with the
bolded. They are choosing to host because they don't want to be
bothered to go outside to smoke. I gathered from the OP that
they would be happy to host but their friends don't want to have
to take smoke breaks outside while playing.
#Post#: 25452--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: lowspark
Date: February 7, 2019, 11:15 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: STiG link ---
>
> [quote author=lowspark link=topic=975.msg25440#msg25440
date=1549548918]
> [quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=975.msg25406#msg25406
date=1549492866]
> Is this rude? Having one person sit in extreme comfort while
others endure the pain and discomfort of the other chairs
provided?
>
--- End Quote ---
The answer to this is, yes. It's rude.
If the hosts are unknowingly providing uncomfortable chairs, I
mean, if the hosts think they are perfectly comfortable and are
happy to sit in them, then that's one thing. One man's trash,
etc. But now the hosts are acknowledging that these chairs are
uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that even they don't want to sit
in them. And yet, they are expecting their guests to endure them
for 3-4 hours, three nights a week.
However! There are mitigating circumstances here. Regardless of
the reason, this couple is in the position of having to host
every single time.
Is it just the four of you or are others involved?
I think there are a couple of options here. Either all involved
chip in to buy a new set of mutually agreeable chairs, or each
person has their own chair (if they don't want to sit in the bad
ones) which they supply.
If you were hosting, what would your chairs be like? Why not
just bring one of those over? Or buy yourself a comfy folding
chair, they do sell padded ones, and leave that at their house.
[/quote]
While I agree with the rest of your post, I don't agree with the
bolded. They are choosing to host because they don't want to be
bothered to go outside to smoke. I gathered from the OP that
they would be happy to host but their friends don't want to have
to take smoke breaks outside while playing.
[/quote]
That's why I prefaced it with, "Regardless of the reason."
I could rephrase that slightly to:
Regardless of the reason, this couple is in the position of
hosting every single time.
(Taking out the "having to" part.)
Yes, they are choosing to host, but as such, they should be
making every effort to accommodate their guests to the best of
their abilities.
#Post#: 25454--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: February 7, 2019, 11:59 am
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I agree that under normal circumstances that the guest should be
provided with the most comfortable chairs first. If there was a
medical need or the guest actually preferred the harder chairs,
then I think that could change.
Since this is a consistent gathering, I think some of the rules
get blurred. For example, I would normally not bring a water
bottle or thermos to someone's home. (It might look like I do
not trust their hosting and I would not be able to share with
others.) However, in this situation, it would probably not read
the same way. So, I think that you would be fine to bring your
own chair or cushion if that helps. Someone mentioned stating
that hard chairs are bothering you (and not just THEIR chairs.)
This feels a bit like a shared hosting, so it would be fine to
make yourself comfortable. Just like I'm sure that you don't
always rely on the other couple to provide snacks, you probably
bring some. (There are snacks, right? If no snacks, then I'm not
coming!)
#Post#: 25464--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: LadyRexall
Date: February 7, 2019, 1:43 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for the lapse, we were at the neighbours last night
playing our game lol. To answer a few points:
1. We’ve been able to convince them to let us host very few and
far between under circumstances that our babysitter is a no go
and so it’s either at our house or not at all. Our set is very
comfortable. Plush leather chairs that everyone has commented on
about their extreme comfort.
2. Because they host almost every time, I try to be a great
guest. I’m not a drinker but the rest are and so I bring along
my tea and hubby brings beer/liquor for himself(and definitely
shareable) because it can get really expensive buying drinks for
3 instead of two. 99% of the time i bring a snack with me,
usually homemade (sometimes it’s last minute so I don’t have
time to bring a snack) that we all enjoy together. Hubby and I
each bring a pack of smokes (different brands) and if they run
we hand over a pack and just use one pack. Hosts have done the
same for us.
3. Overall these two are great hosts. The girl host is quite
young and maybe just learning but is doing great overall.
4. It’s usually just ya four but sometimes we get an add on
player for an evening.
#Post#: 25466--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: QueenFaninCA
Date: February 7, 2019, 1:58 pm
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Somehow I have a hard time coming up with anything that's
enjoyable enough that I would subject myself to an uncomfortable
chair for 12 hours a week for it.
I'd definitely bring my own chair.
#Post#: 25473--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: February 7, 2019, 2:29 pm
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OP, since you're already bringing stuff with you, I'd think it
would be no big deal to bring your own cushion.
#Post#: 25475--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: JXB1000
Date: February 7, 2019, 2:41 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LadyRexall link ---
>
> ...Hubby and I regularly get together with the neighbours
about 3x per week for a 3-4 hour session of a continual table
top game. They’ve declined coming to my house as we have kids
and don’t allow smoking in the house. So we go to their
house....
>
--- End Quote ---
Since they are hosting so often (for whatever reason) - would
you be in a financial position to purchase a nicer set for them
as a gift? Or even just chairs? They are obviously
uncomfortable as well.
If that's not an option I would hope that much time together
would make for an open, honest friendship that would enable you
to simple bring your own chair. You might even mention at one
game that you think you'll bring your own next time, should you
feel the need to give them advance notice.
#Post#: 25477--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: STiG
Date: February 7, 2019, 3:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Or look for a nice secondhand set. I know lots of people who
picked up beautiful dining sets off of something like
Craigslist. But only if it is something you are comfortable
with. If they seem interested but hesitant, you could go
halvsies.
#Post#: 25479--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: February 7, 2019, 3:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
OP, I'm not sure what you're looking for? If you just want our
opinion if it's rude for the host to sit in a lazy boy while the
guests sit in uncomfortable chairs, then yes, I agree it's rude
(or at least clueless) since they know the chairs are
uncomfortable.
If you're looking for a solution, what will make it comfortable
for you? Is a cushion enough?* Do you need the lazy boy? Do you
want to bring your own chair? Since they're good friends who
know their chairs are uncomfortable, I doubt they'll have a
problem with any suggestions that you come up with.
* This solution is the easiest since it's light and easy enough
to take back and forth.
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