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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 25406--------------------------------------------------
The good chair
DIR By: LadyRexall
Date: February 6, 2019, 4:41 pm
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I think I’ve decided this is rude but would like others
opinions. Husband says it’s not rude per say but he would never
do it.
Hubby and I regularly get together with the neighbours about 3x
per week for a 3-4 hour session of a continual table top game.
They’ve declined coming to my house as we have kids and don’t
allow smoking in the house. So we go to their house. They have
the most uncomfortable table/chair set. It’s a very cheap
Walmart set and the chairs are wood (fake hard wood) and steel.
Really uncomfortable after about 45 minutes. I’d never think of
not going over just because of the chairs. When I remember, I
grab a pillow to sit on. I usually take a dose of Tylenol before
going over and once I get home because the chairs aggravate my
chronic pain condition. The girl half of the hosts also noted
the uncomfortableness. One day we showed up and her fiancé had
hauled in their super duper comfy lazy boy for her to sit in
while we play.
Is this rude? Having one person sit in extreme comfort while
others endure the pain and discomfort of the other chairs
provided?
I’ve decided (unless convinced this is normal) that this is
rude. Thoughts?
#Post#: 25409--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: February 6, 2019, 5:04 pm
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Since they've set the standard, maybe you could bring your own
comfortable chair, citing your health problems. I don't think
they would be offended unless you brought in some gigantic piece
of furniture. A glider rocker is quite comfy as are some outdoor
mesh-type rocking chairs. But, to answer your question, I think
they were rude to provide comfort for themselves and not their
guests. By the way, how do you stand the smoke? (only asking
because you said it wasn't allowed in your house, not
criticizing smokers)
#Post#: 25410--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: LadyRexall
Date: February 6, 2019, 5:22 pm
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--- Quote from: katiekat2009 link ---
>
> Since they've set the standard, maybe you could bring your own
comfortable chair, citing your health problems. I don't think
they would be offended unless you brought in some gigantic piece
of furniture. A glider rocker is quite comfy as are some outdoor
mesh-type rocking chairs. But, to answer your question, I think
they were rude to provide comfort for themselves and not their
guests. By the way, how do you stand the smoke? (only asking
because you said it wasn't allowed in your house, not
criticizing smokers)
>
--- End Quote ---
Oh, we’re smokers too. We just don’t smoke inside our house
because we don’t want the kids to take it in. So it doesn’t
really bother me, but I do change clothes and drop them in the
washer as they get stinky with 4 smokers smoking in the house
lol.
I kinda thought about bringinging a padded folding chair but
really thought that was rude. I don’t think I could do that lol.
#Post#: 25411--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: guest657
Date: February 6, 2019, 5:35 pm
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Under ordinary circumstances, the polite thing to do would be to
offer the best chair to company, particularly if one of the
guests has a health issue like chronic pain or a bad back.
There are a couple of mitigating factors, though:
-If the host or hostess has a medical need.
-If they don't know about your pain issues.
Being too broke to buy nice furniture isn't rude. Having
terrible taste in furniture isn't rude, either.
This seems like more of a thoughtless or ignorant faux pas than
a deliberate snub or something to take personally.
You go ahead and bring whatever you need to sit comfortably, and
just be matter of fact about it. "I noticed lately my pain
flares up if I sit on hard chairs, so I brought this."
I wouldn't say "YOUR" hard chairs, but just in general.
Otherwise it might come off snarky.
#Post#: 25415--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: February 6, 2019, 6:22 pm
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If you've never said anything, perhaps they don't know you're
uncomfortable. I don't mind hard chairs, for example. If you're
ok with a cushion, can you ask if you can keep one at their home
since you're there three times a week? If you're uncomfortable
even with a cushion, I'm not sure what to suggest other than
hauling your own seat each time and that may not be convenient.
At least they acknowledge the chairs are uncomfortable so
requests may not be as awkward as it normally would be.
#Post#: 25416--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: LadyRexall
Date: February 6, 2019, 6:55 pm
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My chronic pain has been talked about. It’s quite obvious at
times what my pain level is because of the aids I use. Everyone
has talked about the uncomfortableness if the chairs. Hubby and
I are in our 40s, male host just turned 30 and female is host is
20. She’s very fit, healthy and active.
#Post#: 25422--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: silversurfer
Date: February 6, 2019, 7:48 pm
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Given you are a regular visitor (12 hours a week at someone's
house is a loooong time!!) I would bring my own chair.
And given they are neighbours, can you just bring over your own
dining chair?
#Post#: 25432--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: Aleko
Date: February 7, 2019, 1:14 am
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A guest with an actual medical issue may legitimately bring with
them whatever they know they need to cope with that issue during
their visit. Indeed, if not bringing it would mean either giving
the hosts extra trouble trying to provide what you need or
suffering that issue in their house for lack of it, it is a
positive courtesy to them to do so.
If you had say a leg injury or gout, and needed to rest your
foot on a particular kind of footstool, you wouldn't hesitate to
bring that with you, would you? Needing a particular support for
your back is no different. I have known a couple of people with
back trouble who had a (I don't know the technical name for it)
sort of chair insert, and would take it with them to put inside
their host's chair to provide the support their back needed; no
problem. And if these neighbours are so close it's practicable
just to bring one of your own chairs, I don't see why that would
be any more problematic. Anyone who's ever known anyone with
back trouble (and that's just about everyone, surely?) knows
that each bad back has a need for its own specific kind of
chair, and it's not casting any kind of aspersion on your hosts'
furniture to say that your back and their chairs just aren't a
match.
#Post#: 25438--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: STiG
Date: February 7, 2019, 7:00 am
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I bring house shoes with me whenever I go somewhere. If I
wander around in sock or bare feet, I end up with excruciating
back pain. I don't see bringing your own chair to prevent the
same as any different.
I would call these people inconsiderate, not rude.
#Post#: 25439--------------------------------------------------
Re: The good chair
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 7, 2019, 7:55 am
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In your position, I would plead that you are having back issues
and that you're bringing a chair that provides the support you
need and then just keep bringing it everytime.
Or since the wife has also mentioned having a difficult time
with the chairs, maybe offer to buy 4 folding but comfortable
chairs as your gift to them since they host everytime.
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