DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 25376--------------------------------------------------
Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: February 6, 2019, 11:19 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I will be attending a funeral for my cousin Friday at a Catholic
church. I don't know what to expect as I am of the Protestant
faith (spectifically, Baptist). Are there things they will do in
which I should not participate - kneeling/standing? communion?
Anything I should know so I don't embarrass myself? Dress code?
Thanks, everyone!
Edited to add the obituary says there will be vistation and then
a "mass to follow with Rosary".
#Post#: 25378--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: kckgirl
Date: February 6, 2019, 11:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I am a Baptist, and attended quite a few Catholic funerals while
I was working. When they knelt, I stayed in my seat, and the
other protestants in my group did the same. It looked like
that's what other people all over the church did, too. During
communion, I also stayed in my seat, as did the others who were
not Catholic. Sing if you know the songs or can read music when
they give a page number for songs. Bow your head during the
prayers as you would in your own church. Stand when everybody
else does (the priest or other worship leader won't always say
to do so, but the regular attenders know). Other than that, just
be the respectful person you are.
#Post#: 25382--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: RubyCat
Date: February 6, 2019, 12:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry for your loss. If it makes you feel any better, a lot
of the Catholics who will be attending won't know what to do
either. Many don't attend Mass regularly and are unfamiliar
with some relatively recent changes or simply forget how things
go. The only thing I would recommend is that you not take
communion. Just follow what everyone else is doing and you'll
be fine.
#Post#: 25383--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: STiG
Date: February 6, 2019, 12:30 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
You won't be permitted to take communion so you'll just remain
in your seat for that one. My previous protestant church had
kneeling rails so I'm comfortable with that but if you're not,
just sitting and bowing your head is fine. To be on the safe
side, I'd wear something that covers your shoulders and passes
the fingertip test for length. Stand when the regulars stand,
sit when they sit, sit when they kneel. Nothing wrong with
participating in the service if you are comfortable, staying
quiet and respectful, if you're not.
Be prepared for the eulogy to be different than what you are
used to, though that may have been particular to the priest at
my friend's parents' funerals. He didn't say much at all about
the deceased; the memorializing happened more at the tea served
in the church hall after the services, with the family.
My university town had a beautiful Catholic church that I wanted
to see the inside of. So I roped in a Catholic friend to go
with me to a service. When I told my mother, she said, 'Keep
your fingers out of the holy water!' LOL
#Post#: 25386--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: lisastitch
Date: February 6, 2019, 1:07 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
As a Lutheran, attending a church where we do kneel during
services, we've told friends attending with us to participate to
the level they're comfortable with.
Observing the forms of worship--standing and sitting with the
congregation, bowing head during prayers, etc.--is polite, but
beyond that, sing if you are able to, kneel if you would like
to, but remember that even members of the congregation may not
stand or kneel because of physical issues. Our pastor actually
says. "Please stand as you are able".
At a funeral, there is an expectation that non-members will be
attending.
And I'm sorry for your loss.
#Post#: 25387--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: lakey
Date: February 6, 2019, 1:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Whatever you would normally wear to a church service or funeral
would be fine.
As far as sitting, standing, kneeling, it is up to you. You can
stay in your seat when Catholics kneel if you like, or kneel if
you like. It's not something people would be offended by.
For communion simply stay in your seat.
Especially for funerals and weddings, it is common for attendees
to be unfamiliar with what to do, so don't worry about it.
#Post#: 25391--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: QueenFaninCA
Date: February 6, 2019, 2:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
You can't take communion. However some churches do communion in
a way where a person staying in their seat is disruptive as they
have everyone in a pew file in and out together. In that case
(or even otherwise if you would like to do so), you can go with
the others. When approaching the priest cross your arms with the
left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa. This is the
sign that you will not take communion. The priest will bless you
instead.
#Post#: 25393--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: Two Ravens
Date: February 6, 2019, 2:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If you don’t feel comfortable kneeling, just scoot forward in
your seat a bit if there are people sitting behind you.
#Post#: 25394--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: guest657
Date: February 6, 2019, 3:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If staying in your seat would make it awkward for others to get
out for Communion, one option is to stand and step into the
aisle, but instead of going up front, just take a step back and
give them the "go ahead" gesture. Then sit back down.
They will usually go in a loop and re-enter the pew from the far
side. So if that's the side you're on, you might stay sat while
they get up, but get up to let them back in.
There are several ways to do it, but this is a normal thing.
#Post#: 25396--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need quick help regarding Catholic funeral
DIR By: Bada
Date: February 6, 2019, 3:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: QueenFaninCA link ---
>
> You can't take communion. However some churches do communion
in a way where a person staying in their seat is disruptive as
they have everyone in a pew file in and out together. In that
case (or even otherwise if you would like to do so), you can go
with the others. When approaching the priest cross your arms
with the left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa. This
is the sign that you will not take communion. The priest will
bless you instead.
>
--- End Quote ---
Some Cathokic churches do not give blessings to those not
receiving communion. You're safer to remain in the pew.
It's considered more respectful for women to cover their
shoulders and men to wear pants. This is a rule that is enforced
in Europe but not in the US. And obviously wear a modest outfit
generally.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 3
DIR Next Page