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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 25102--------------------------------------------------
RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: LadyRexall Date: February 1, 2019, 11:33 am
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We have a couple friend who are engaged. Yay. They’re getting
married this August. Their invites are printed and they want to
send them out now, because they’ve given the rsvp date as three
months prior to the wedding. They brought it up the other day
and hubby and I both said that that seems too far in advance and
stated that it’s “usually” 6 weeks. They didn’t want to hear
that and we didn’t push. It still seems odd to me. Her reasoning
behind it was that if it were her, she’d want to decide right
away and let the person know. My husbands point was: if you send
them now, this far in advance, people may shove the invite away
and lose it. His point about the rsvp date was that a lot can
change in three months so they may have a bunch of yes people
that don’t show. What do you guys think? It’s not me, so I’m not
too worried.
Ps. They gave us an advance copy. I was looking it over(finally
had my glasses on) and noticed a typo. The typo is the date.
It’s written down as 2018 not 2019. I let them know. They’ve
decided not to reprint because people will figure it out if they
notice. So question 2: would you knowingly send an invite with a
typo/wrong date? Do you think people will just figure it out or
would you be confused as the date passed by 6 months ago to the
sending of the invite?
One more but of info: we recently had a mail strike so people
may think they missed the wedding because they didn’t get the
invite.
#Post#: 25103--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: Sycorax Date: February 1, 2019, 11:47 am
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I definitely think they should reprint their invitations,
whether they keep the (too early, IMO) RSVP date or not. If I
received an invitation for last year, I might assume it was some
weird kind of announcement and ignore it.
Also, 3 months is way too far ahead! Even 6 weeks seems like
too much, but it's definitely more reasonable. Someone like me
might RSVP no, just because it's possible something would come
up.
#Post#: 25105--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: Hmmm Date: February 1, 2019, 12:07 pm
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I agree that asking for an RSVP 3 months in advance is too long
and sending an invite 6 months prior is too long too given that
standard in the states is to send 6 to 8 weeks before the
wedding and request RSVP 2 to 3 weeks prior to the wedding.
With the incorrect year, if I got an invite in February for a
wedding scheduled for August 2018, I would think that either the
invite had been lost in the mail for a long time and the wedding
had already occurred or wonder if the couple were sending out
left over invitations as wedding announcements. I would not
think I was getting an invitation for a wedding that is to take
place 6 months in the future.
I guess if you are close to the couple, you'd be aware and could
figure it out.
Without the mistake on the date, I would assume they were doing
the A,B,C wedding groups and I'd made the A list but if I turned
it down, they'd be sending my invite to the B list.
#Post#: 25107--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: Songbird Date: February 1, 2019, 12:52 pm
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This is why they invented "save the date" cards.
#Post#: 25108--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: QueenFaninCA Date: February 1, 2019, 1:08 pm
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They are setting themselves up for a lot of grief. Many people
might RSVP yes but then closer to the wedding have something
come up requiring them to change the RSVP. And a bunch of
changes might come after they gave a final head-count to the
caterer and the venue or people might simply no-show because
it's after the RSVP date anyways.
There is a reason why invitations are usually sent 6 to 8 weeks
before the event with RSVPs required tow or three weeks before
(giving you a few days before the caterer and venue need final
numbers to follow up with people who you haven't heard from).
Seems like this couple hasn't heard of save the date cards,
which are perfectly fine 6 to 12 months in advance to make sure
people can plan accordingly.
#Post#: 25109--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: gramma dishes Date: February 1, 2019, 1:15 pm
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[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=969.msg25108#msg25108
date=1549048104]
... Seems like this couple hasn't heard of save the date cards,
which are perfectly fine 6 to 12 months in advance to make sure
people can plan accordingly.
[/quote]
But no matter what, the date is the important part and that has
to be right!
#Post#: 25110--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: lowspark Date: February 1, 2019, 1:22 pm
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I agree that if I received an invitation in Feb for a wedding
date of Aug of the previous year, I'd be scratching my head.
Most likely, I'd be asking someone who is involved closely with
the wedding couple. So, if not the couple themselves, maybe one
of the parents, siblings, or a close friend.
As far as the advance request for reply, I agree that they are
going to end up with a lot of "false positives" with people
rescinding their acceptance as the date approaches. Or worse,
just not bothering to show up.
In any case, I agree that both of these things are a fail on the
part of the couple.
#Post#: 25111--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: TootsNYC Date: February 1, 2019, 1:35 pm
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[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=969.msg25109#msg25109
date=1549048544]
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=969.msg25108#msg25108
date=1549048104]
... Seems like this couple hasn't heard of save the date cards,
which are perfectly fine 6 to 12 months in advance to make sure
people can plan accordingly.
[/quote]
But no matter what, the date is the important part and that has
to be right!
[/quote]
It used to be that no one put the date on the invitation at all.
Nowadays people often put it on because it becomes a
memento--and sometimes a way to remember when you (or the
couple) were actually married, as the years blur together.
#Post#: 25112--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: Jem Date: February 1, 2019, 1:40 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=969.msg25111#msg25111
date=1549049709]
[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=969.msg25109#msg25109
date=1549048544]
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=969.msg25108#msg25108
date=1549048104]
... Seems like this couple hasn't heard of save the date cards,
which are perfectly fine 6 to 12 months in advance to make sure
people can plan accordingly.
[/quote]
But no matter what, the date is the important part and that has
to be right!
[/quote]
It used to be that no one put the date on the invitation at all.
Nowadays people often put it on because it becomes a
memento--and sometimes a way to remember when you (or the
couple) were actually married, as the years blur together.
[/quote]
I'm not saying you are wrong about the history (although I have
never heard of this), but all of the "hide the ball" etiquette
just seems so silly. Why would you not want to make it as simple
as possible for your guests to know where and when the event
will be? Same thing for registry information. We all know people
register, so why pretend they don't and create more work for
people to "discretely" ask? Makes me crazy!
#Post#: 25113--------------------------------------------------
Re: RSVP date 3 months ahead
By: JeanFromBNA Date: February 1, 2019, 2:12 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=969.msg25111#msg25111
date=1549049709]
[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=969.msg25109#msg25109
date=1549048544]
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=969.msg25108#msg25108
date=1549048104]
... Seems like this couple hasn't heard of save the date cards,
which are perfectly fine 6 to 12 months in advance to make sure
people can plan accordingly.
[/quote]
But no matter what, the date is the important part and that has
to be right!
[/quote]
It used to be that no one put the date on the invitation at all.
Nowadays people often put it on because it becomes a
memento--and sometimes a way to remember when you (or the
couple) were actually married, as the years blur together.
[/quote]
How did the guests know when to show up?
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