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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 24280--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: guest725
Date: January 18, 2019, 1:27 pm
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Yes, cancer is common, though I'm not sure of the relevancy of
that comment. It's still expensive to treat.
Not everyone has the money and/or enough insurance to cover the
costs. Not everyone's family has enough money to contribute.
You don't have to contribute. But unless and until this country
has a decent health care system that is affordable and decent, I
will never object to someone starting a gofundme for health care
costs because once again, it's voluntary.
#Post#: 24281--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: LadyX
Date: January 18, 2019, 1:38 pm
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No politics please-
If you wish to discuss/complainabout health care in general,
health care systems, etc... this is not the place!
#Post#: 24895--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: Twik
Date: January 29, 2019, 11:24 am
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--- Quote from: BeagleMommy link ---
>
> I received an email from a student who graduated last year
stating her grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer, had
insurance, but medical bills were mounting. She and her family
decided to hold a benefit to assist with GM's bills. The event
would charge admission and then there was a basket raffle and
food to purchase. She asked that I email a flyer about the
event and a letter from GM's doctor to all students, faculty,
staff, and alumni.
>
> When I checked with our HR department about this (no one had
ever asked something like this before) I was told I could not do
as asked since this was not a university sanctioned event. This
is where I left it with the graduate.
>
> My question is, is it inappropriate and/or rude to hold a
benefit for someone in your own family? Is someone outside the
family supposed to hold the benefit with the family's
permission?
>
--- End Quote ---
I'm going back to the start, so forgive me if I'm repeating
other people's points.
I don't think it's rude if you are desperately in need of help
to ask for assistance. It's rude to put others in a position
where they feel pressured to say "yes," but not to simply make
people aware of your need. We are a species that survives due to
our willingness to help each other.
It progresses along the rude scale if you're asking for things
which aren't really necessities. So, I don't think it's rude to
let people know you're doing a benefit for Grandma's cancer
treatment. It becomes ruder (although not necessarily rude per
se) if it's for Grandma's 70th birthday surprise cruise, because
it presumes that other people are so rolling in money that it
might as well go for someone else's pleasure. And, of course,
the more pressure put on people to contribute the ruder it gets.
So a mere Facebook announcement isn't terribly rude, but
repeated e-mails about how Grandma would really love that cruise
makes it more egregious.
#Post#: 24947--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: vintagegal
Date: January 30, 2019, 7:27 am
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Just a note, there are disease-specific charities to help with
medical bills. When my late DH had lymphoma, he could get a
$2500 yearly grant from the Lymphoma Society to help with
co-pays (He had Medicare). We did that one year. It was not a
lump sum, you had to submit bills as they came in. We were very
grateful and I have since paid them back so they can help
others.
#Post#: 24953--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: guest657
Date: January 30, 2019, 8:20 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: vintagegal link ---
>
> Just a note, there are disease-specific charities to help with
medical bills. When my late DH had lymphoma, he could get a
$2500 yearly grant from the Lymphoma Society to help with
co-pays (He had Medicare). We did that one year. It was not a
lump sum, you had to submit bills as they came in. We were very
grateful and I have since paid them back so they can help
others.
>
--- End Quote ---
That's a lovely thing and very good to know! I thought charities
like that were focused on research and education, I didn't know
they offered resources like that.
Thanks for getting the word out.
#Post#: 25001--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: LadyRexall
Date: January 30, 2019, 3:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: puppylove link ---
>
> [quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=948.msg24142#msg24142
date=1547673967]
> My question is, is it inappropriate and/or rude to hold a
benefit for someone in your own family? Is someone outside the
family supposed to hold the benefit with the family's
permission?
>
--- End Quote ---
Some fundraisers I will roll my eyes at, such as "support my
exotic trip to Fiji" and others, like this one, are
understandable. If one doesn't want to participate, don't. Some
things are just not worth debating because there are so many
variables and circumstances. Although I will roll my eyes at the
Fiji type requests. And while I'm at it, what do you all think
of the FB requests for donating to a cause because it's my
birthday". No, just absoleffinglutely no.
[/quote]
I was going to ask about this as I seem to see it on a regular
basis now. To me: a grown up shouldn’t be asking for nor
expecting birthday gifts. It just seems weird to me. I had one
of these fb requests but she kept on commenting on her own post
that everyone was rude to not donate and they didn’t donate last
year ect, so I I friended her.
#Post#: 25006--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: Dazi
Date: January 30, 2019, 7:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: LadyRexall link ---
>
> [quote author=puppylove link=topic=948.msg24167#msg24167
date=1547684137]
> [quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=948.msg24142#msg24142
date=1547673967]
> My question is, is it inappropriate and/or rude to hold a
benefit for someone in your own family? Is someone outside the
family supposed to hold the benefit with the family's
permission?
>
--- End Quote ---
Some fundraisers I will roll my eyes at, such as "support my
exotic trip to Fiji" and others, like this one, are
understandable. If one doesn't want to participate, don't. Some
things are just not worth debating because there are so many
variables and circumstances. Although I will roll my eyes at the
Fiji type requests. And while I'm at it, what do you all think
of the FB requests for donating to a cause because it's my
birthday". No, just absoleffinglutely no.
[/quote]
I was going to ask about this as I seem to see it on a regular
basis now. To me: a grown up shouldn’t be asking for nor
expecting birthday gifts. It just seems weird to me. I had one
of these fb requests but she kept on commenting on her own post
that everyone was rude to not donate and they didn’t donate last
year ect, so I I friended her.
[/quote]
Medical donations I see as kind of iffy. It really depends to me
on how much the medical bills are amounting to and whether the
family has exhausted all other avenues of receiving assistance
(ie, government, private funds that help with bills, disease
specific charities, other family members).
I got rather irked at one of my relatives for posting a GFM for
a legitimate medical fundraiser for themself. The amount was
less than 1K, the person did not ask ANY of their immediate
family for assistance, and right on the heels of posing the GFM,
they purchased a bunch of unnecessary extravagant stuff on Black
Friday.
I'm 100% in agreement on the birthday donation crap. It is one
of my top peeves. I have a firm belief that adults don't
actually need any gifts in life, let alone should they be
harassing their friends and family into donating on their
behalf. (Generic) You are an adult, if you want to donate to a
charity, do it your damn self.
#Post#: 25058--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: Kiwipinball
Date: January 31, 2019, 8:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Dazi link ---
>
> [quote author=LadyRexall link=topic=948.msg25001#msg25001
date=1548883302]
> [quote author=puppylove link=topic=948.msg24167#msg24167
date=1547684137]
> [quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=948.msg24142#msg24142
date=1547673967]
> My question is, is it inappropriate and/or rude to hold a
benefit for someone in your own family? Is someone outside the
family supposed to hold the benefit with the family's
permission?
>
--- End Quote ---
Some fundraisers I will roll my eyes at, such as "support my
exotic trip to Fiji" and others, like this one, are
understandable. If one doesn't want to participate, don't. Some
things are just not worth debating because there are so many
variables and circumstances. Although I will roll my eyes at the
Fiji type requests. And while I'm at it, what do you all think
of the FB requests for donating to a cause because it's my
birthday". No, just absoleffinglutely no.
[/quote]
I was going to ask about this as I seem to see it on a regular
basis now. To me: a grown up shouldn’t be asking for nor
expecting birthday gifts. It just seems weird to me. I had one
of these fb requests but she kept on commenting on her own post
that everyone was rude to not donate and they didn’t donate last
year ect, so I I friended her.
[/quote]
Medical donations I see as kind of iffy. It really depends to me
on how much the medical bills are amounting to and whether the
family has exhausted all other avenues of receiving assistance
(ie, government, private funds that help with bills, disease
specific charities, other family members).
I got rather irked at one of my relatives for posting a GFM for
a legitimate medical fundraiser for themself. The amount was
less than 1K, the person did not ask ANY of their immediate
family for assistance, and right on the heels of posing the GFM,
they purchased a bunch of unnecessary extravagant stuff on Black
Friday.
I'm 100% in agreement on the birthday donation crap. It is one
of my top peeves. I have a firm belief that adults don't
actually need any gifts in life, let alone should they be
harassing their friends and family into donating on their
behalf. (Generic) You are an adult, if you want to donate to a
charity, do it your damn self.
[/quote]
I think FB initiates it a lot (like when they try to get me to
plan parties for people - they keep "suggesting" it - it's so
weird). So it doesn't bother me much if people want to promote a
cause that's dear to their hearts on their birthday. I don't
donate, but hey, maybe someone hears about a charity they
haven't before. Great. But none of the friends I see post that
have ever harassed people/pouted for not getting enough/anything
like that. That would bother me quite a bit.
#Post#: 25072--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holding a Benefit to Pay Medical Bills for Your Own Family -
Rude or Not
DIR By: Aleko
Date: February 1, 2019, 1:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Soliciting charitable donations for your birthday might on the
face of it seem selfless, but actually it's not. It's 'Celebrate
Meeee!' with an extra topping of virtue-signalling. Any
announcement to the effect that you expect your friends to put
cash and/or effort into your Special Day is crass.
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