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#Post#: 23776--------------------------------------------------
Engagement Party
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 11, 2019, 11:48 am
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So, I overhear Boss talking to Coworker (aka Boss's Drinking
Buddy) about a mutual friend's (theirs, not mine) engagement
party.
Boss: "You going to Dean's engagement party tonight?"
Coworker: "Oh sure."
Boss: "Have you ever been to one of these? Do people usually
bring gifts?"
Coworker: "Yeah, I think these things are to help pay for the
wedding, so people usually bring money."
Boss: "So how much? Same as you would for the wedding? Like
$100?"
Coworker: "Yeah, that sounds right."
I'm not sure that I agree with all of the advice given here.
What do you think?
#Post#: 23778--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: Hmmm Date: January 11, 2019, 11:58 am
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Where are you located?
In my area, engagement parties are non-gift giving occasions.
#Post#: 23779--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 11, 2019, 11:58 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=940.msg23778#msg23778
date=1547229484]
Where are you located?
In my area, engagement parties are non-gift giving occasions.
[/quote]
The US. (I consider myself midwest, although some would call us
east coast.)
#Post#: 23780--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: Sycorax Date: January 11, 2019, 11:59 am
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I didn't think engagement parties were supposed to be 'gift'
parties.
#Post#: 23784--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: TootsNYC Date: January 11, 2019, 12:36 pm
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Is he confusing that with the stag-and-doe fund-raising parties
that happen in some parts of Canada? Where essentially it's a
night out dancing that the whole community buys a ticket for,
and the "guests" essentially pay about what they'd pay a private
business for a similar kind of entertainment?
But those are very rare in the places I've been.
I think he just doesn't know.
I remember when engagement parties were VERY rare.
#Post#: 23790--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: Rose Red Date: January 11, 2019, 1:16 pm
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I'm in the Midwest too and if you bring a gift to an engagement
party, it's usually a token gift (bottle of wine or something).
#Post#: 23791--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 11, 2019, 1:27 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=940.msg23784#msg23784
date=1547231773]
Is he confusing that with the stag-and-doe fund-raising parties
that happen in some parts of Canada? Where essentially it's a
night out dancing that the whole community buys a ticket for,
and the "guests" essentially pay about what they'd pay a private
business for a similar kind of entertainment?
But those are very rare in the places I've been.
I think he just doesn't know.
I remember when engagement parties were VERY rare.
[/quote]
I cannot say for sure, as this was not a conversation that I was
involved in. However, the only place that I have heard of stag
and doe parties was through this site, so they are not really a
thing in my location.
#Post#: 23794--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: NFPwife Date: January 11, 2019, 1:29 pm
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I think I'm having a party and inviting them!
Joking aside.... We're from the same area and, because we're
this area is so ethnically diverse, IMO this likely falls along
ethnic lines. In some cultures/ ethnicities this could be a gift
giving occasion. In my family of origin, if there were gifts,
they'd be nominal things that would be related to wedding
planning or small household items/ hostess gifts kind of things.
Although gifts wouldn't be expected. The event would be for the
families to meet each other and to begin talking about the
wedding and potential dates with beloved family members. Things
like, "Oh, Aunt and Uncle are going away for a 28 day cruise in
June 2020, we'll avoid that," might be worked out.
In my husband's family, it would be an opportunity for the
families to meet and there would be gifts. Larger household
items (microwaves, vacuums, stemware, etc.) and envelopes of
cash. Or cash just pressed into your palm. Repeatedly throughout
the night. What I lovingly and jokingly call the "Uncle
handshake."
#Post#: 23852--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: LifeOnPluto Date: January 11, 2019, 10:53 pm
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In Australia, engagement parties are most definitely gift giving
occasions. But it's usually nice household items, not money. In
any event, $100 seems a bit on the high side to me.
#Post#: 23856--------------------------------------------------
Re: Engagement Party
By: Aleko Date: January 12, 2019, 4:56 am
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In the UK, engagement parties are definitely not gift-giving
occasions. Some people in the UK will send or give an engagement
present, but it is certainly not a given. When DH and I got
engaged, I was quite baffled when we received presents from a
few of his parents' close friends: I had never even heard of
such a thing.
As for fund-raising parties to finance the wedding: I've never
ever heard of that happening here. The craze for huge lavish
weddings has really taken off in the last 20 years or so, and
the expense has risen exponentially; but even so, if a couple
tried to get their friends to fund their wedding, the reaction
would be: 'You want a multi-grand three ring circus for
yourselves? Then fund it yourselves or hit up your own
families.' And personally, I think that's a good and healthy
reaction.
(I'm speaking here of mainstream British culture. There are of
course large communities of immigrant origin that maintain
wholly different customs.)
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