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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 24207--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Jem
Date: January 17, 2019, 11:17 am
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In that case, I think the woman was rude but she was only saving
spots for a few moments at most. The OP said no one asked her to
move, and the friends arrived and sat down before the train left
the station. If it were me and I wanted to sit, I would have
asked her to move so I could sit. It would have been rude of her
not to move to allow me to sit. But since no one asked her to
move and the seats were taken within moments I think anyone
upset they “didn’t get a seat” shares the blame for not
asserting themselves.
#Post#: 24209--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: January 17, 2019, 11:51 am
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I’m on the fence about this. If I was traveling with my Mom and
could get on first and save her a seat, I’d do that without
hesitation. I’m not sure it’s so terrible of a thing to do when
the people are getting in at the same time.
#Post#: 24212--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Jem
Date: January 17, 2019, 12:01 pm
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--- Quote from: Hanna link ---
>
> I’m on the fence about this. If I was traveling with my Mom
and could get on first and save her a seat, I’d do that without
hesitation. I’m not sure it’s so terrible of a thing to do when
the people are getting in at the same time.
>
--- End Quote ---
Agreed. And if someone asked me to move to allow them to sit, I
would, and then I would give up MY seat for my mom. But if no
one asks? Well......
#Post#: 24213--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Songbird
Date: January 17, 2019, 12:20 pm
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--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> In that case, I think the woman was rude but she was only
saving spots for a few moments at most. The OP said no one asked
her to move, and the friends arrived and sat down before the
train left the station. If it were me and I wanted to sit, I
would have asked her to move so I could sit. It would have been
rude of her not to move to allow me to sit. But since no one
asked her to move and the seats were taken within moments I
think anyone upset they “didn’t get a seat” shares the blame for
not asserting themselves.
>
--- End Quote ---
I didn't say that no one asked her to move. several people did,
but walked away when she said the seats were saved.
I have bad knees and a bad back, and cannot stand for long
periods of time. I think I woud have sat on her bag if she told
me I couldn't sit because she was saving the seat. Would that
make me rude?
#Post#: 24214--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Jem
Date: January 17, 2019, 12:26 pm
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--- Quote from: Songbird link ---
>
> [quote author=Jem link=topic=925.msg24207#msg24207
date=1547745440]
> In that case, I think the woman was rude but she was only
saving spots for a few moments at most. The OP said no one asked
her to move, and the friends arrived and sat down before the
train left the station. If it were me and I wanted to sit, I
would have asked her to move so I could sit. It would have been
rude of her not to move to allow me to sit. But since no one
asked her to move and the seats were taken within moments I
think anyone upset they “didn’t get a seat” shares the blame for
not asserting themselves.
>
--- End Quote ---
I didn't say that no one asked her to move. several people did,
but walked away when she said the seats were saved.
I have bad knees and a bad back, and cannot stand for long
periods of time. I think I woud have sat on her bag if she told
me I couldn't sit because she was saving the seat. Would that
make me rude?
[/quote]
I think the people should have asserted themselves if they
wanted a seat.
As for the green, I don't know about sitting on her bag, but if
she refused to move it I would say something like, "I am moving
your bad so I can sit." And then I would do just that.
I ride public transportation. When I see someone trying to
prevent someone else from sitting with them by putting their bag
on the seat, and I know the bus will fill, I don't ask. I tell
(in a polite but assertive voice). "Please move your bag - I am
going to sit here," rather than, "Would you mind moving your
bag?" or "Do you mind if I sit here?" Because I don't really
care if they DO mind moving their bag or if they would prefer I
not sit there.
#Post#: 24215--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Sweet Jane
Date: January 17, 2019, 1:11 pm
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Many years ago, I was on a crowded bus. A man was sitting in a
seat and had a small paper shopping bag in the seat next to him.
A woman got on the bus and asked for the seat, and the man said
that he needed that seat for the bag. Without missing a beat,
the woman said, "If your bag needs the seat that's fine, you can
get up and I'll take your seat."
The guy wasn't happy, but he picked the bag up right away and
the woman got the seat.
#Post#: 24217--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: oogyda
Date: January 17, 2019, 1:38 pm
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All this just serves to make me more and more glad I don't have
to deal with crowded transportation on a regular basis. When I
do, I do my best to avoid the busiest times. Even that doesn't
always work out. Last spring, YDD and her 2 DC came from out of
state to visit. We spent some time with ODD's family and 8 of
us to Washington DC's train system to the National Zoo. We
specifically left the zoo early enough to avoid the after work
crowds. Unfortunately, it was opening day for the baseball team
and the game had ended right around that time so we were crowded
in with all the baseball fans. The 2 oldest DGSs managed to get
on board and save a few seats in one area. Nobody pressed the
issue when told the seats were saved and we shared seats (with
the 2 youngest riding on laps) once everyone got on.
As crowded as it was, people were generally friendly and polite.
I was told the after work people generally aren't.
#Post#: 24243--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Aleko
Date: January 18, 2019, 1:04 am
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I think it also makes a difference who you're saving seats for.
It's one thing to race on ahead to bag and hold seats for your
elderly parents or very-pregnant wife; for perfectly able-bodied
friends, not so much.
#Post#: 24259--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: January 18, 2019, 8:37 am
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--- Quote from: Aleko link ---
>
> I think it also makes a difference who you're saving seats
for. It's one thing to race on ahead to bag and hold seats for
your elderly parents or very-pregnant wife; for perfectly
able-bodied friends, not so much.
>
--- End Quote ---
I don’t see a problem with saving the seats for able bodied
friends, but I do see an issue if you refuse to get up for
someone that asks because they need it. But how can we judge?
You just can’t always tell who is able bodied and who is not.
#Post#: 24260--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you say something, or just endure?
DIR By: Songbird
Date: January 18, 2019, 8:52 am
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--- Quote from: Sheena link ---
>
> Many years ago, I was on a crowded bus. A man was sitting in a
seat and had a small paper shopping bag in the seat next to him.
A woman got on the bus and asked for the seat, and the man said
that he needed that seat for the bag. Without missing a beat,
the woman said, "If your bag needs the seat that's fine, you can
get up and I'll take your seat."
>
> The guy wasn't happy, but he picked the bag up right away and
the woman got the seat.
>
--- End Quote ---
I love that!
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