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#Post#: 23276--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: guest657
Date: January 4, 2019, 11:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> I was just considering to ask a similar question.
>
> I no longer respond to group texts through the original
message and here is why...
>
> My friend Spence invited a group to a BBQ. This group of
friends have known each other since high school with really only
the addition of spouses (who have been around for years, too),
so they are tight knit and all know each other. I am an outsider
to this group and would define my relationship with all as
causal acquaintances (except with Spence; we are friends.) They
all have been friendly to me, but it has been difficult breaking
into the group because of their history. I do not have anyone's
number, so when they respond to group texts, I have no clue who
is "speaking".
>
> The text conversation:
> Spence (to all): BBQ on Saturday! Blah, blah, blah, details.
> Unknown Number 1: Great! We will be there.
> Unknown Number 2: Bummer, we will be out of the town.
> Unknown Number 3: We'll bring my famous bean dip.
> Me: Thank you for thinking of me, but I am unavailable. Enjoy!
>
> Unknown Number 1: (only to me): Who is this?
> Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I am Spence's friend Da.
> Unknown Number 1: I don't know why you are messaging me.
> Me: Sorry, I was attempting to RSVP to Spence's party and did
not mean to bother you. May I ask who I am messaging?
>
> Silence.
>
> To this day, I have no idea who this person was. To me, the
tone was abrupt and unfriendly (although, despite my
paraphrasing the incident, there is room for other
interpretations.) The exchange upset me a bit. Being that I was
not attending the party, I could not really try to bring it up
there to find the person and apologize (or get a feel for the
person's intentions.) At the time, I decided to not mention it
to Spence.
>
> Spence still does group invites (they are the norm for this
group), but I always respond outside of the group message. I
know how annoying it is to receive ten responses from unknown
numbers and it apparently bothers others that they don't know
me. It has soured my desire to want to break into this group,
which I do not think was going to happen anyways.
>
> So... I do not know if it is rude to respond to group texts,
but I no longer do so.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think the unknown texter did come across as very testy, it's
not just you.
But if it makes you feel any better, they probably didn't
"ghost" your apology - they may not have seen it. If they were
getting all those messages separately, they may have deleted the
threads or just turned off text notifications until it died
down.
#Post#: 23289--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: January 4, 2019, 1:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> ...snip
> The text conversation:
> Spence (to all): BBQ on Saturday! Blah, blah, blah, details.
> Unknown Number 1: Great! We will be there.
> Unknown Number 2: Bummer, we will be out of the town.
> Unknown Number 3: We'll bring my famous bean dip.
> Me: Thank you for thinking of me, but I am unavailable. Enjoy!
>
> Unknown Number 1: (only to me): Who is this?
> Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I am Spence's friend Da.
> Unknown Number 1: I don't know why you are messaging me.
> Me: Sorry, I was attempting to RSVP to Spence's party and did
not mean to bother you. May I ask who I am messaging?
>
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I think I would have simply said that I was Da (in case they did
know me), and I was on Spence's group text about the party and
simply was replying to it, as many others did.
#Post#: 23327--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: Despedina
Date: January 4, 2019, 4:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I really dislike group texting sometimes. I volunteer with
scouts and we had a hike that I lead at a nearby park. Its
always a popular event and we ask on the flyer how each person
would like to receive their confirmation. Since so few people
read their email anymore (so I've been told) we offer a text
confirmation. We had about 30 families (about 70 people total)
sign up. Each family provided a text or email for their
confirmation. When I sent out the text confirmation I said "This
is your confirmation for the scout hike on 11/03/18 at Park at
9am (insert a few more details" and sent. There was no question
what the text was regarding and these people provided their
numbers. I got no less than 5 "Who is this?" "What are you
talking about?" "How did you get my number?" Each time I
explained and yes they were the right people that provided the
numbers but they were clueless on why they were getting a text.
I just think some people don't really get how technology works.
In your case, I would have responded the same. Maybe Unknown
Number 1 was embarrassed to ask a silly question like "Why are
you texting me". They must not have noticed they were on a group
text and thought they were the only ones invited.
#Post#: 23328--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: January 4, 2019, 4:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> I was just considering to ask a similar question.
>
> I no longer respond to group texts through the original
message and here is why...
>
> My friend Spence invited a group to a BBQ. This group of
friends have known each other since high school with really only
the addition of spouses (who have been around for years, too),
so they are tight knit and all know each other. I am an outsider
to this group and would define my relationship with all as
causal acquaintances (except with Spence; we are friends.) They
all have been friendly to me, but it has been difficult breaking
into the group because of their history. I do not have anyone's
number, so when they respond to group texts, I have no clue who
is "speaking".
>
> The text conversation:
> Spence (to all): BBQ on Saturday! Blah, blah, blah, details.
> Unknown Number 1: Great! We will be there.
> Unknown Number 2: Bummer, we will be out of the town.
> Unknown Number 3: We'll bring my famous bean dip.
> Me: Thank you for thinking of me, but I am unavailable. Enjoy!
>
> Unknown Number 1: (only to me): Who is this?
> Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I am Spence's friend Da.
> Unknown Number 1: I don't know why you are messaging me.
> Me: Sorry, I was attempting to RSVP to Spence's party and did
not mean to bother you. May I ask who I am messaging?
>
> Silence.
>
> To this day, I have no idea who this person was. To me, the
tone was abrupt and unfriendly (although, despite my
paraphrasing the incident, there is room for other
interpretations.) The exchange upset me a bit. Being that I was
not attending the party, I could not really try to bring it up
there to find the person and apologize (or get a feel for the
person's intentions.) At the time, I decided to not mention it
to Spence.
>
> Spence still does group invites (they are the norm for this
group), but I always respond outside of the group message. I
know how annoying it is to receive ten responses from unknown
numbers and it apparently bothers others that they don't know
me. It has soured my desire to want to break into this group,
which I do not think was going to happen anyways.
>
> So... I do not know if it is rude to respond to group texts,
but I no longer do so.
>
--- End Quote ---
You should have responded with "I didn't message you, I was
responding to Spence's message."
#Post#: 23343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: January 4, 2019, 9:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I did not mean to hijack the thread, but I can understand the
confusion if the message separated as others have described.
(Thank you for sharing this, as it does allow me to recolor the
confusion in my mind.) I do not remember the exact text
conversation that we had (my previous post was a paraphrase),
but I do believe that I provided enough information for the
unknown number to figure out that I was Da, Spence's friend.
Even if this person had never met me, I believe that I provided
enough information for the person to put together why he/she was
receiving my message. In hindsight, my mistake was that I
replied to the group message rather than privately (lesson
learned.)
Which brings us back to the original question as to whether
replying to group messages is polite. My situation brought me to
the conclusion that it brings too many problems. I will not
reply to the entire group to avoid such issues.
#Post#: 23359--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: Hanna
Date: January 5, 2019, 5:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I usually only get group texts that include people I know. I do
reply all in that case, because typically the initiator is
trying to gauge interest and find a time that works for all.
If there are many people I don’t know I respond separately.
#Post#: 23510--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: JXB1000
Date: January 7, 2019, 1:41 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
On the original question, yes I'd respond but how depends on the
circumstances and how large a group. If it's a small group of
like 5 or 6 of us meeting for coffee -yes, I'd respond to the
original as we all care who is coming. A larger group - like a
party invitation/reminder - I'd respond only to the originator.
On the issue of group texts, I try to limit use of them myself.
But when involved, I usually add my name at the end of my
message: ~Name. Which is what I do anytime I might be texting
someone who may not have me listed in their contacts. And if
I'm the originator, I usually remind people that most phones
have an option to turn off alerts for the conversation so they
can read the thread at their leisure.
#Post#: 23554--------------------------------------------------
Re: Group text invite
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: January 8, 2019, 8:48 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: JXB1000 link ---
>
> But when involved, I usually add my name at the end of my
message: ~Name. Which is what I do anytime I might be texting
someone who may not have me listed in their contacts.
>
--- End Quote ---
I do not know why this never occurred to me! It's such a simply
fix, but I was just not smart enough to think of it. Thanks for
sharing!
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