DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 23095--------------------------------------------------
Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: January 3, 2019, 9:29 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I was recently in a situation where there were several children
and adults together in a room. One of the little girls
announced "I'm so smart I skipped a grade. I'm in third grade
now and I'm still only seven."
I really didn't know quite what to say in response to this. Any
suggestions?
#Post#: 23100--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Jem
Date: January 3, 2019, 9:36 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I don’t think you need to say anything. The girl IS likely
smart. Her intelligence does not dim anyone else’s. Should she
be bragging about it? Well, perhaps not, but so what? She’s
seven and proud she skipped a grade.
As an aside, I think there is an odd undercurrent that only
people who are perceived to be “less than” somehow are allowed
to be proud of themselves. I know a lot of very smart, very
talented, very physically beautiful people and every single one
of them is a human being with insecurities.
#Post#: 23102--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Thitpualso
Date: January 3, 2019, 9:45 am
---------------------------------------------------------
If you choose to give a response, something along the lines of,
‘That’s very good, dear. Congratulations.’ Then, move on to
the next topic.
Achievement by children should be acknowledged but not made too
much of.
#Post#: 23103--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: January 3, 2019, 9:46 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> I don’t think you need to say anything. The girl IS likely
smart. Her intelligence does not dim anyone else’s. Should she
be bragging about it? Well, perhaps not, but so what? She’s
seven and proud she skipped a grade. ...
>
--- End Quote ---
Additional information: The other children in the room were all
near her age and at least one of them was/is also a second
grader. This girl was apparently in second grade until after
Thanksgiving and that's when the move occurred.
#Post#: 23107--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Jem
Date: January 3, 2019, 10:03 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: gramma dishes link ---
>
> [quote author=Jem link=topic=921.msg23100#msg23100
date=1546529798]
> I don’t think you need to say anything. The girl IS likely
smart. Her intelligence does not dim anyone else’s. Should she
be bragging about it? Well, perhaps not, but so what? She’s
seven and proud she skipped a grade. ...
>
--- End Quote ---
Additional information: The other children in the room were all
near her age and at least one of them was/is also a second
grader. This girl was apparently in second grade until after
Thanksgiving and that's when the move occurred.
[/quote]
That doesn’t change my response. I don’t think you need to say
anything. I also don’t think it’s appropriate to expect a seven
year old to not be proud of what, to her right now, is a pretty
cool accomplishment. It isn’t being mean to the other kids that
this particular girl accomplished something they didn’t.
#Post#: 23114--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: guest657
Date: January 3, 2019, 10:24 am
---------------------------------------------------------
She's seven. She wants to engage and talk with someone, but she
doesn't know how to start an appropriate conversational gambit.
So I'd pick up the thread and turn it into a real conversation.
Either one-on-one with her, something like "Really? Have you met
your new teacher?" Or "You know, the trickiest part of getting
used to third grade, at least for me, was more homework. Did you
have much homework yet?"
Or a more general topic like our favorite subjects in school, or
classroom holiday decorations, or favorite teachers, or do you
prefer to bring your lunch or get cafeteria lunch.... Something
the other kids could participate in without the temptation to
one-upmanship.
Kids (humans, really) have a natural instinct to seek positive
attention. It's normal for little kids to be self-centered. If
she really is intelligent and perceptive, she will quickly pick
up on the fact that the nicest way to be the center of attention
is to lead a conversation everyone can enjoy participating in.
#Post#: 23115--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Kiwipinball
Date: January 3, 2019, 10:28 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I agree that there wasn't much of a need for a response.
Anon4Now had some good suggestions. If she kept going on and on,
I would try to redirect (that's more likely to make the other
kids feel bad). If I was a close relative, I might be having a
chat with her (privately, probably later unless it got so bad I
needed to remove her) about bragging, etc, but this is a pretty
normal thing for a 7 year old (bragging a bit, not necessarily
skipping a grade).
#Post#: 23123--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: January 3, 2019, 10:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, since she's 7, I wouldn't say anything or just ask about
her class.
If she were a teen or older I still wouldn't say anything unless
I'm super close to them, like if I'm their mom. For someone not
as close, I would secretly roll my eyes and have *thoughts*
about them, but not for a 7 year old.
#Post#: 23133--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: January 3, 2019, 11:39 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I'd probably just respond with a little praise and some related
conversation. In my case, if her parent's beliefs jived with
mine, I might also say how neat it is that God gives us all
different gifts and opportunities. I might ask her what it was
like to be younger than the others in her class, if she was
excited about the new kids she was around, etc.
If she was a close friend or relative, I might also privately
tell her that not everyone gets the same gifts and that while
she should be grateful, happy and proud about her awesome brain,
it can be tough on others if we talk too much about our own good
fortune.
#Post#: 23137--------------------------------------------------
Re: Appropriate response to "I'm smart" announcement?
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: January 3, 2019, 11:46 am
---------------------------------------------------------
As I tell my students all the time, just because I compliment
another student does not mean that you are not doing well, too.
In other words, her intelligence does not diminish the
accomplishments or even the intelligence of the other kids (or
even adults) in the room. Other than maybe not understanding the
dynamics within the room and the effects that her statement
could have, I see nothing wrong with what was said. I would
respond the same as if she said...
"I'm creative. I painted a picture of a dog."
"I'm pretty. I got a new dress today."
"I'm compassionate. I hugged a friend."
I may say...
"That is wonderful."
"Thank you for telling me."
"That is great news."
Or maybe nothing at all.
The child may need to learn to think about what her words may do
to others. Or maybe the other children need to learn that we are
all special with unique gifts and talents and someone's
accomplishment does not mean that they are lesser.
*****************************************************
Page 1 of 5
DIR Next Page