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#Post#: 22744--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: NewHomeowner Date: December 31, 2018, 11:01 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=898.msg22550#msg22550
date=1546083312]
Just out of curiosity: all you people who say you normally eat
at 5 pm, when on earth do you knock off from work in the
afternoon that you can actually do that? Here in the UK, 5 pm is
about the earliest normal going-home time (and many people -
shop workers, for example - finish work much later). What with
travel time, even people who have someone at home to cook dinner
and have it ready for them the moment they walk through the door
would be pushed to sit down any earlier than 6.
[/quote]
I start work at 6am, so I get out at 2:30pm. That's how I
manage to have dinner long before 5pm, because.....when you get
up at 4am, bedtime has to be early, too. I'm frequently in bed
by 7:30 or so, usually asleep by 8pm. (If it weren't for my
DVR, I'd miss out on all the good TV shows!).
I do occasionally hang out with people who keep later hours, and
I try to work with them, but honestly, messing with my body
clock messes up my blood sugar so much that it takes days to get
back on track. I just spent a week on vacation with my sister
and family, who eat closer to 7 and go to bed later than 10pm,
and it's taken me almost 2 weeks to get my body clock stable
again.
So I do my best to stick with my schedule. Back in my 20s and
early 30s, I did the whole 'stay up all night and party, then
sleep during the day' weekends, but then I became a diabetic and
everything changed. My life is more important than a late night
party.
#Post#: 22745--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: Amara Date: December 31, 2018, 11:23 am
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I'm like you, LadyJane. I go to bed around 9:00 pm, get up
around 5:00 am and head off to work at 7:15. (I have a lot to do
in the mornings, especially with the pets.) Off work at 4:00 and
very hungry! Fortunately, my commute is very short, ten minutes,
so I eat by 5:15 pm at the very latest. I do not like to sleep
on a full stomach.
And, yes, keeping to a pretty strict routine is best.
#Post#: 22806--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: LifeOnPluto Date: December 31, 2018, 10:56 pm
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[quote author=Raintree link=topic=898.msg22423#msg22423
date=1545961908]
[quote author=SecretSauce link=topic=898.msg22419#msg22419
date=1545959438]
Too late now, but if your sister and BIL were staying close to
your mom's house, could your sister not have asked someone else
for a ride so she could stay and visit a bit longer?
[/quote]
I offered! And before she could speak, he said, "No, that'd wake
me up" (her coming in later). I think she didn't want to make a
scene in front of us but I get the feeling they had an argument
after they left. I really think he has a lot of anger in him and
expresses it in a very manipulative way, but is one of those
people that will claim he is fine when called on it.
[/quote]
Was there any way your sister could have stayed the night at
your house?
#Post#: 22930--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: Sycorax Date: January 2, 2019, 9:07 am
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I can sympathize with BIL's issues, because I also get tired and
hangry (with no official medical diagnosis), but he's also being
a tremendously rude jerk.
#Post#: 23302--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: Twik Date: January 4, 2019, 2:09 pm
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I've got sympathy for both sides. Some people really do need to
eat on a regular schedule, or they feel ill. And if BIL had told
himself he'd eat no later than 7:00, but discovered it was going
to be significantly later, this could be a problem.
On the other hand, Raintree provided snacks to stave off the
worst of it, and you can't actually eat a raw turkey, so what
could have been done other than what she did?
I'd say that the two of them really don't have a compatible
dining style at all. That sometimes happens.
#Post#: 23326--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: STiG Date: January 4, 2019, 4:26 pm
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[quote author=Pandorica link=topic=898.msg22930#msg22930
date=1546441626]
I can sympathize with BIL's issues, because I also get tired and
hangry (with no official medical diagnosis), but he's also being
a tremendously rude jerk.
[/quote]
Exactly. In that situation, were the offered snacks not
adequate for what I needed, I would quietly ask my hostess if I
could have some X or whatever I felt I needed that she might
have on hand. For example, when I start getting the shakes from
low blood sugar, I find something with protein and sugar is
best. A spoonful of peanut butter will often do the trick.
Cheese and a glass of orange juice. A pepperette and a soda.
#Post#: 24051--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: malfoyfan13 Date: January 15, 2019, 12:46 pm
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While I think BIL sounds like a bit of a crank and a control
freak, I'm in the camp of early dinners, especially on holidays.
I like to have a lot of time to digest a big meal. I actually
prefer a lunch on Christmas rather than dinner; gives me time to
digest and enjoy my evening, rather than having to cook and
clean up well into the night.
I'd suggest that if the cooking takes too long because of other
obligations, maybe try buying some parts of the meal to cut down
on cooking and prepping time. Or make it a potluck so you're
not doing everything.
#Post#: 24075--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: lakey Date: January 15, 2019, 6:00 pm
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[quote]I actually prefer a lunch on Christmas rather than
dinner;[/quote] This is what we do. We have a large dinner at
around 1 o'clock. That way those who go to bed early aren't
going to bed at 9 having had a gigantic meal after 7. Anyway,
when the host handles it in a way that isn't to your liking, you
just accept it and be quiet. I've been a guest in homes where
they didn't serve dinner until 8 or 9.
#Post#: 24092--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: MinMom3 Date: January 15, 2019, 10:54 pm
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I'm in the camp of a late afternoon meal time. I too get up to
be at work at 7 a.m., so I need to be in bed by 9:30 to not feel
half dead the next day. I also hate going to bed with a huge
mess still to clean in the kitchen, and I don't want to stay up
late purely to hose out my personal Augean stables. When my
husband was still alive, and either cooking or orchestrating
meals, he'd be done and asleep on the couch as soon as the meal
was over. The rest of us, however, would be slaving away in the
kitchen for hours, because he was the messiest cook ever.
Cleaning up after him was not fun on a good night, and holidays
were at least 4 times his normal mess. So yes, I would be
unhappy at sitting down to eat at nearly 8 at night. I hope I'd
behave better about it than BIL, but I would make different
plans for the next year.
With all the different working hours in OP's family, maybe this
is a meal best not eaten with that particular cast of
characters? I think a day like the original post sounds like a
great reason to time shift and maybe not have the full family
all on one day. The Venn Diagram just doesn't seem to have a
central overlap!
#Post#: 24557--------------------------------------------------
Re: Late dinner, impatient guest
By: Raintree Date: January 24, 2019, 1:37 am
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OP here, just catching up now. Nobody had to be up at 6 the next
morning or anything, and I also have never seen him leaping up
to volunteer to do any of the cooking in all the years I've
known him. If he wanted to cook a meal and serve it at 6, I'd
eat it though I wouldn't enjoy it as much.
I rarely get to eat dinner before 8 because I'm busy running
around doing shopping or whatever for my elderly mother on my
way home from work. Something I also have yet to see him have to
deal with, as his parents are in another part of the world and I
guess it's his sisters that do everything.
My mother says her family used to eat the Christmas dinner in
the middle of the day, but I have to say, that sounds totally
unappealing to me. If BIL wanted to do this and offered to serve
it though, I'd politely accept instead of bellyaching about how
ill it made me feel.
Ugh, I have to deal with him again next month for a family
birthday. We aren't cooking though. I can assure you I will
never cook for him again. Rest assured he will dictate the
restaurant reservation time though.
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