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#Post#: 21970--------------------------------------------------
Holiday Gifting
By: Victoria Date: December 20, 2018, 4:22 pm
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One person in my department does annual holiday gifts, and it's
always been her "thing." It's nothing extravagant, but there are
a couple of gourmet food places around here and she always buys
everyone something small. One year it was mini lava cakes and
this year it was a small box of specialty donuts. But my new
manager got me a small gift, and another of his direct reports
said that "Well [gourmet food person] gave me donuts! I feel
like I have to give something." I told her that my understanding
was that we don't have to gift up the ladder, but then she ended
up giving everyone in the department a small gift as well. Our
overall boss doesn't do gifts and my understanding is that she
never has.
I'm the second most junior person and there are 2-4 position
levels between me and all the people I described above, but now
that everyone else has started picking up the gift-giving I'm
starting to sweat it a little. Is my assumption still correct?
What if I end up being the only person who doesn't do a holiday
gift?
#Post#: 21971--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: iolaus Date: December 20, 2018, 4:37 pm
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If it bothers you buy a few packs of candy canes and if it looks
like everyone is gifting them split them up and give a candy
cane each
You don't need to though
#Post#: 21972--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: Amara Date: December 20, 2018, 4:51 pm
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You never gift up per Ask a Manager (Alison Green). I wouldn't
get into gifting colleagues, though if you have one or two
people you are friends with outside of work you can, if you
want, gift them but do it outside of the office and don't
mention it.
I wouldn't want to start something like that where others might
feel the need to do as you do. Then the pressure becomes
unspoken and people who don't want to or can't afford to begin
to feel they must join in too. It can get messy so I'd suggest
following Alison's advice.
#Post#: 21973--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: Thitpualso Date: December 20, 2018, 5:16 pm
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In my working experience, my boss and I chipped in to buy small
gifts (picture frames or such) for our volunteers.
Those above us would give group gifts like a box of candy or a
fruit basket for boss and me to share. Boss and I exchanged
gifts but that was because she and I were friends outside the
office and she was only one step above me.
The idea of either of us giving gifts further up the chain was
never considered. In fact, gifting up the chain of command
would have looked suspicious.
#Post#: 21980--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: Rose Red Date: December 20, 2018, 6:59 pm
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I can understand feeling uncomfortable if it turns out you're
the only one who is not giving a gift. You can bring a plate of
cookies or brownies for the entire group. Or wrap up a few as
individual gifts.
Not that you have to of course.
#Post#: 22000--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: browzer11 Date: December 21, 2018, 12:51 am
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Rose Red ... "Or wrap up a few as individual gifts". I disagree.
Why should just "some" get a wrapped gift?
OP, don't sweat it. If you still feel bad, bring in a box of
donuts and bagels on the last day of work.
#Post#: 22004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: Rose Red Date: December 21, 2018, 6:21 am
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[quote author=browzer11 link=topic=885.msg22000#msg22000
date=1545375091]
Rose Red ... "Or wrap up a few as individual gifts". I disagree.
Why should just "some" get a wrapped gift?
[/quote]
I meant wrap up a few cookies to give everyone an individual
gift instead of bringing one big platter.
#Post#: 22015--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 21, 2018, 8:28 am
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Ugh... I hate when this starts. I agree that I would do my best
to stand firm and not gift. As each person collapses, it puts
more pressure on the next to do so (which is exactly what you
are feeling.) However, if you really cannot stand it or become
the last one standing, the token treat gifts are a good option.
#Post#: 22062--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: AnnesWhiteLady Date: December 21, 2018, 3:49 pm
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Work gifting should not be mandatory.
I usually bring in a plate of homemade goodies to share. But, I
do this because I like baking and I like sharing my baking, not
because I have to. This may work in your case (only if you
want) along with a thoughtful note/email to let people know
there are goodies for everyone.
#Post#: 22121--------------------------------------------------
Re: Holiday Gifting
By: Writer of Wrongs Date: December 23, 2018, 8:34 am
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I’m on a 3-person team at work, and we (the director, my
teammate and myself) usually give each other gifts. But the
director’s gifts to us are more than ours to her - for example,
this year I gave them each a container of brining mixture with
herbs from my garden and various salts. It cost me practically
nothing, and I did it because I enjoy making and giving things.
I traditionally haven’t gifted - I just do this team because
we’re so small and fit so well.
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