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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 23406--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: Copper Horsewoman Date: January 5, 2019, 6:47 pm
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[quote author=Rain link=topic=875.msg23227#msg23227
date=1546577635]
There also used to be a custom in some areas of sending a
wedding announcement
My sister sent announcements out
[/quote]
IIRC, Miss Manners said the wedding announcement allows the
happy couple to clearly state the name and title each of them
will be known "socially" as. So, you can announce the wedding of
Mr. Joe Jones and Ms.. Jane Smith-Jones, which lets all
recipients know Jane is hyphenating her name. Or, announcing the
marriage of Rev. Joe Jones and Ms. Jane Jones. She is fully
changing her last name. Or, Mr. Joe Jones-Smith and Ms. Jane
Smith-Jones, or whatever their pleasure. A useful custom, in
these times. I have several times, before adding a new address
contact to my list, wondered what name the happy couple
individuals are pleased to be known as. One couple of my
acquaintance, both doctorates, he uses Mr. socially, not Dr.,
she uses Dr. HerBirthName in both social and professional
encounters.
BTW, I was taught from youth that a married woman is not Mrs.
Jane Jones, but Mrs. Joe Jones, losing her first name as well as
her birth lastname in this honorific. I applauded the advent of
the Ms. honorific, because it allows one to have one's first
name, regardless of matrimonial status or which lastname. It
still makes me wince a bit to see an envelope addressed Mrs.
MyFirstname Lastname.
#Post#: 23415--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: vintagegal Date: January 6, 2019, 7:03 am
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I got a TY note that was a lot like that. Pic of the HC,
preprinted message, not signed, no personal note. Apparently
there are online printing companies that will produce them and
even mail them for you.
#Post#: 23431--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: Aleko Date: January 6, 2019, 1:32 pm
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[quote]BTW, I was taught from youth that a married woman is not
Mrs. Jane Jones, but Mrs. Joe Jones, losing her first name as
well as her birth lastname in this honorific. I applauded the
advent of the Ms. honorific, because it allows one to have one's
first name, regardless of matrimonial status or which lastname.
It still makes me wince a bit to see an envelope addressed Mrs.
MyFirstname Lastname.[/quote]
I also grew up being taught that. However, customs do change
with social mores, and rightly so. The 'Mrs Joe Jones' format
was itself relatively rare till the late Victorian era - for
example, Martha Washington might have been quite startled to be
addressed as "Mrs George Washington" - and actually peaked in
popularity in the 1950s, the age of The Feminine Mystique. See
the graph here:
HTML https://i.stack.imgur.com/gZarq.png.
If we no longer consider a married woman's social and legal
personality to be wholly subsumed and dissolved in that of her
husband - and I sincerely hope we no longer do - let's face it,
it is simply absurd to continue to address her as though we did
think so, in the name of 'tradition' and 'good form'.
#Post#: 23497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: Hmmm Date: January 7, 2019, 10:28 am
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[quote author=Copper Horsewoman link=topic=875.msg23406#msg23406
date=1546735678]
[quote author=Rain link=topic=875.msg23227#msg23227
date=1546577635]
There also used to be a custom in some areas of sending a
wedding announcement
My sister sent announcements out
[/quote]
IIRC, Miss Manners said the wedding announcement allows the
happy couple to clearly state the name and title each of them
will be known "socially" as. So, you can announce the wedding of
Mr. Joe Jones and Ms.. Jane Smith-Jones, which lets all
recipients know Jane is hyphenating her name. Or, announcing the
marriage of Rev. Joe Jones and Ms. Jane Jones. She is fully
changing her last name. Or, Mr. Joe Jones-Smith and Ms. Jane
Smith-Jones, or whatever their pleasure. A useful custom, in
these times. I have several times, before adding a new address
contact to my list, wondered what name the happy couple
individuals are pleased to be known as. One couple of my
acquaintance, both doctorates, he uses Mr. socially, not Dr.,
she uses Dr. HerBirthName in both social and professional
encounters.
BTW, I was taught from youth that a married woman is not Mrs.
Jane Jones, but Mrs. Joe Jones, losing her first name as well as
her birth lastname in this honorific. I applauded the advent of
the Ms. honorific, because it allows one to have one's first
name, regardless of matrimonial status or which lastname. It
still makes me wince a bit to see an envelope addressed Mrs.
MyFirstname Lastname.
[/quote]
I too, was taught that. But after first being married, someone
else entered my info into a charitbale organization that
continues to send me emails and letters 25 years later. I was
entered into their system as Mrs. My firstname Married lastname.
It irritates the dickens out of me everytime I'm addressed like
that. I've contacted them a few times and asked for it to be
changed but they never have even though they are very good at
updating my address after every move.
#Post#: 25839--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: Copper Horsewoman Date: February 12, 2019, 9:38 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=875.msg23431#msg23431
date=1546803142]
[quote]BTW, I was taught from youth that a married woman is not
Mrs. Jane Jones, but Mrs. Joe Jones, losing her first name as
well as her birth lastname in this honorific. I applauded the
advent of the Ms. honorific, because it allows one to have one's
first name, regardless of matrimonial status or which lastname.
It still makes me wince a bit to see an envelope addressed Mrs.
MyFirstname Lastname.[/quote]
I also grew up being taught that. However, customs do change
with social mores, and rightly so. The 'Mrs Joe Jones' format
was itself relatively rare till the late Victorian era - for
example, Martha Washington might have been quite startled to be
addressed as "Mrs George Washington" - and actually peaked in
popularity in the 1950s, the age of The Feminine Mystique. See
the graph here:
HTML https://i.stack.imgur.com/gZarq.png.
If we no longer consider a married woman's social and legal
personality to be wholly subsumed and dissolved in that of her
husband - and I sincerely hope we no longer do - let's face it,
it is simply absurd to continue to address her as though we did
think so, in the name of 'tradition' and 'good form'.
[/quote]
As I said, I applaud the advent of Ms., since it solved all
problems of keeping one's first name and allows whatever last
name one uses socially, which could be different from the
spouse's last name.
#Post#: 26371--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help deciphering this card
By: bopper Date: February 19, 2019, 2:13 pm
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Also the envelope may include their address which may be new.
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