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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 21259--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: STiG Date: December 12, 2018, 11:27 am
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I agree that the gift was inappropriate, not because of any
religious overtones but because it is live plant that has
specific requirements to keep it alive and because it is toxic
to animals. Not everyone can manage to keep them alive; I'm one
of them. I either under or over water the darn things and all
the leaves drop off post haste. ::)
I'm pretty sure poinsettias are forced to produce their colour
at Christmas, with keeping them in the dark and so on.
Christmas cactus is not; they natural bloom at Christmas,
probably because of the change in light levels. I'm thinking
they'd bloom the end of June in Australia. We always had forced
amaryllis bulbs at Christmas. Which reminds me... I need to
plant the ones I brought in from the garden.
As to the lady who left hers behind, I think she did the correct
thing. She didn't make a fuss, by the sounds of it, but had no
desire to take it home. By leaving it behind, it sends a quiet
message that perhaps it wasn't the most well thought out gift.
#Post#: 21270--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: lowspark Date: December 12, 2018, 11:47 am
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I think that Poinsettias are, for whatever reason. associated
with Christmas. However, as one who does not celebrate
Christmas, my response is, who cares? It's still a very pretty
plant and if someone wanted to give me one as a gift, I'd accept
it just as I might accept an African Violet or an Ivy.
If indeed, the woman was offended, then yeah, get over it.
On the other hand, a plant as a gift is pretty risky. Many
people do not want to accept that for various reasons, some of
which have already been mentioned. In the case you mention
above, I think it would have been better for her to just say
something like, "I don't want this plant because I'm not good
with plants/I have pets/I will be out of town for the next
month/I don't like Poinsettias/whatever. Does someone else want
to take mine?"
Kind of like if your office manager had gifted everyone with a
cheesecake. Well, some might be diabetic or dieting or just
don't like cheesecake! Ok to politely say, "Thanks but really,
I'd rather not take this so someone else can have two."
#Post#: 21278--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: Rose Red Date: December 12, 2018, 1:17 pm
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How was it refused? Did she simply say no thanks, or did she
make a big deal out of it? The first one is polite and the
second is not.
#Post#: 21282--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: mime Date: December 12, 2018, 1:45 pm
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I she handled it just fine, and wasn't rude at all. She could
have done better to take it home to regift or to politely turn
it down (there are plenty of benign or non-accusatory reasons)
with appreciation for the thought.
It is nearly impossible to find a single gift generic enough to
please a dozen people. It sounds to me like the office manager
was not well-liked. Maybe her gift-selection efforts are part of
her character that people don't like? And the recipient leaving
her plant behind could have been motivated a bit by the fact
that she didn't like the giver?
As for symbolism: I have always celebrated Christmas, and think
of pointsettias as being no more or less a Christmas-thing than
snowmen. They are just things in the world that we've chosen to
incorporate into our celebrations and associate with this
Christmas "season" idea, but do not hold some religious
significance on their own. Similar to Christmas trees, candles,
holly, the date of Christmas itself, and half of winter!
I can see that, to someone who doesn't share my faith, they may
not understand the level of (in)significance of these things. (I
had a muslim boyfriend at one time who was hesitant to eat a
spritz cookie in the shape of a wreath until he learned more
about it. Turns out he loved them, so my mom made some shaped
like yellow flowers for him the following spring. :) )
I think etiquette allows for more than one "right answer" and in
this case there was imperfection but not rudeness. The things
that come across to me as being in poor character are unproven:
was the gift giver being deliberately offensive? Were the two
recipients who made a face or left the gift behind doing it in a
way to draw attention to their displeasure? It is hard to tell
about either of these.
#Post#: 21287--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: Aleko Date: December 12, 2018, 2:29 pm
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[quote]Thanks for posting that link, Camlan; I had never heard
that story [I don't think any link to Christmas is widely known
in the UK?].[/quote]
They're always in UK shops at Christmas, and are much used in
Christmas festive floral decor, But I have never heard that they
had any specific religious connotation (and folklore, especially
religious folklore, is very much my thing, so if any were
current here I think I would have heard about it). I had always
assume they were sold because they are easy to bring on and
provide a big shot of festive colour in the middle of winter,
plus it's a colour that is very much favoured at Christmas. I
think that's most British people's attitude too.
#Post#: 21300--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: Bada Date: December 12, 2018, 4:17 pm
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My search engine tells me that today is the anniversary of the
death of Joel Poinsett, the man responsible for bringing the
pointsetta to the United States from Mexico.
HTML https://www.britannica.com/biography/Joel-R-Poinsett
HTML https://www.britannica.com/plant/poinsettia#ref252476
So Happy Pointsetta Day to all of you! ...or something... :P
#Post#: 21303--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: Venus193 Date: December 12, 2018, 4:23 pm
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Your office manager was looking for offense where clearly none
was intended.
I have no plants in my apartment because of my furbabies.
Poinsettas would kill them, but even ones that are "safe"
wouldn't be safe from certain destruction.
#Post#: 21309--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: Irked Purist Date: December 12, 2018, 5:14 pm
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They almost certainly wouldn't kill
HTML https://www.petpoisonhelpline.com/poison/poinsettia
them.
That's not to say there aren't numerous reasons for not wanting
them in a house with animals- 'mildly toxic' is still
unpleasant- but the risk is popularly overestimated to a large
degree and this seems like as good a place as any to correct
that.
I too am interested if there were any reasons given, and the
level of reaction. Even if the recipient(s) had cited 'not my
celebration', that doesn't equal her being 'looking for offence'
or being upset.
From a severely-secularist viewpoint I can actually see wanting
to detatch as much from the symbols of secular-type Xmas as the
overtly religious ones, whether that stems from being of a
different faith, or just not liking/wanting any of it. And I
sympathise with anyone trying to make that break because it's
quite hard to accomplish and to explain without sounding like
it's massively more objectionable than it truly is, because
plants and snowmen and countless other symbols aren't religious-
nope, but they definitely are Xmassy.
#Post#: 21310--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: lisastitch Date: December 12, 2018, 5:17 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=870.msg21287#msg21287
date=1544646598]
[quote]Thanks for posting that link, Camlan; I had never heard
that story [I don't think any link to Christmas is widely known
in the UK?].[/quote]
They're always in UK shops at Christmas, and are much used in
Christmas festive floral decor, But I have never heard that they
had any specific religious connotation (and folklore, especially
religious folklore, is very much my thing, so if any were
current here I think I would have heard about it). I had always
assume they were sold because they are easy to bring on and
provide a big shot of festive colour in the middle of winter,
plus it's a colour that is very much favoured at Christmas. I
think that's most British people's attitude too.
[/quote]
There's a legend of a poor girl who picks weeds to put on the
church altar, and they become poinsettias. It's from 16th
century Mexico, according to Wikipedia.
There are at least two picture books, THE LEGEND OF THE
POINSETTIA, by Tomie dePaola, and THE MIRACLE OF THE FIRST
POINSETTIA, A MEXICAN CHRISTMAS STORY, by Joanne Oppenheim. For
me, growing up in California, there's a very strong tie to
Christmas, and I would never give one to a Jewish or Muslim
friend.
#Post#: 21311--------------------------------------------------
Re: But you know that's not my Holiday.
By: lisastitch Date: December 12, 2018, 5:23 pm
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[quote author=STiG link=topic=870.msg21259#msg21259
date=1544635653]
I'm pretty sure poinsettias are forced to produce their colour
at Christmas, with keeping them in the dark and so on.
Christmas cactus is not; they natural bloom at Christmas,
probably because of the change in light levels. I'm thinking
they'd bloom the end of June in Australia. We always had forced
amaryllis bulbs at Christmas. Which reminds me... I need to
plant the ones I brought in from the garden.
[/quote]
Actually, they aren't forced. They need a long dark night (so,
wintertime), with bright sunny days for the bracts to turn
colors. Red is the most common, but there are pink and white
poinsettias too.
When I was growing up in southern California, my parents had
poinsettias along one side of the house that were 8 or 10 feet
tall--they reached the roof line--and they naturally turned red.
That's why I don't like to have poinsettias--I don't have any
place to plant them after Christmas, and hate to throw a living
plant away! Even though I don't have much luck with most house
plants, it takes serious neglect to kill a poinsettia!
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