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#Post#: 20657--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATES see #6 & #8
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: December 3, 2018, 7:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
And to those who asked about what my DH was thinking about not
figuring she'd want to bring her boyfriend with her if she moved
here... my DH wasn't thinking at all. It was a totally
spur-of-the-moment suggestion (more of a comment, really, as in
"You could move into the apartment here for not much money if it
was fixed up), and I think that both my BFF and I took it to be
a lot more serious an offer than DH had meant it to be.
#Post#: 20659--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATE
DIR By: Hanna
Date: December 3, 2018, 7:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: wolfie link ---
>
> [quote author=Rose Red link=topic=850.msg20600#msg20600
date=1543847879]
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=850.msg20597#msg20597
date=1543846051]
> [quote author=GardenGal link=topic=850.msg20587#msg20587
date=1543829224]
> Hi again- good news! My BFF brought up the possibility her
and her boyfriend moving into our apartment and I told her that
DH and I had thought more about it and that it wouldn't be
possible for the reasons I mentioned above, and she was
perfectly understanding about it. She asked with a grin if she
might move there "when he dies" (he's 75), and I told her of
course! So, all's well.
>
> Thanks for your replies.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wait, he's 75 and you think it's wrong for him to be not working
full time and to be hanging out at the house and playing on the
internet? Shoot, that's what most of the 75 year olds I know do!
[/quote]
I'm not the OP, but he would be 59 years old 16 years ago. I
guess the OP is thinking about the entire 16 years of behavior.
Still, one does not invite only half of a couple and I can't
imagine what the OP's DH was thinking.
[/quote]
59... which is 5 years past "conventional" retirement age. I
know people who plan to retire by then.
[/quote]
Wolfie, I think you might be in Europe? In US the expected
retirement age is more like 65, and getting older as congress is
gradually raising the age we can collect social security. Some
people do retire earlier, but it’s not super common. Those
people I know that have done that typically have planned
extensively, or worked for the government or were in the
military all of their lives. In my line of work, I’ll have to
pay my own healthcare if I retire before a certain age, and
that’s really pricey. I talked to a coworker today who told me
he’d love to retire, but he will be 70 before it’s possible.
#Post#: 20671--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATES see #6 & #8
DIR By: guest24
Date: December 4, 2018, 2:01 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Chuckling to myself... At 75 years old, there is no way that
this guy could be considered a boy friend!
#Post#: 20709--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATE
DIR By: wolfie
Date: December 4, 2018, 1:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hanna link ---
>
> [quote author=wolfie link=topic=850.msg20610#msg20610
date=1543857672]
> [quote author=Rose Red link=topic=850.msg20600#msg20600
date=1543847879]
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=850.msg20597#msg20597
date=1543846051]
> [quote author=GardenGal link=topic=850.msg20587#msg20587
date=1543829224]
> Hi again- good news! My BFF brought up the possibility her
and her boyfriend moving into our apartment and I told her that
DH and I had thought more about it and that it wouldn't be
possible for the reasons I mentioned above, and she was
perfectly understanding about it. She asked with a grin if she
might move there "when he dies" (he's 75), and I told her of
course! So, all's well.
>
> Thanks for your replies.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wait, he's 75 and you think it's wrong for him to be not working
full time and to be hanging out at the house and playing on the
internet? Shoot, that's what most of the 75 year olds I know do!
[/quote]
I'm not the OP, but he would be 59 years old 16 years ago. I
guess the OP is thinking about the entire 16 years of behavior.
Still, one does not invite only half of a couple and I can't
imagine what the OP's DH was thinking.
[/quote]
59... which is 5 years past "conventional" retirement age. I
know people who plan to retire by then.
[/quote]
Wolfie, I think you might be in Europe? In US the expected
retirement age is more like 65, and getting older as congress is
gradually raising the age we can collect social security. Some
people do retire earlier, but it’s not super common. Those
people I know that have done that typically have planned
extensively, or worked for the government or were in the
military all of their lives. In my line of work, I’ll have to
pay my own healthcare if I retire before a certain age, and
that’s really pricey. I talked to a coworker today who told me
he’d love to retire, but he will be 70 before it’s possible.
[/quote]
No I live in NY. But 16 years ago 55 was considered a good age
to retire. At this point I know with health care costs many
people are worried if they can afford to retire but I am
surprised how many people on this thread are shocked that a 75
year old isn't working.
#Post#: 20711--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATE
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: December 4, 2018, 2:38 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: wolfie link ---
>
> [quote author=Hanna link=topic=850.msg20659#msg20659
date=1543888096]
> [quote author=wolfie link=topic=850.msg20610#msg20610
date=1543857672]
> [quote author=Rose Red link=topic=850.msg20600#msg20600
date=1543847879]
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=850.msg20597#msg20597
date=1543846051]
> [quote author=GardenGal link=topic=850.msg20587#msg20587
date=1543829224]
> Hi again- good news! My BFF brought up the possibility her
and her boyfriend moving into our apartment and I told her that
DH and I had thought more about it and that it wouldn't be
possible for the reasons I mentioned above, and she was
perfectly understanding about it. She asked with a grin if she
might move there "when he dies" (he's 75), and I told her of
course! So, all's well.
>
> Thanks for your replies.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wait, he's 75 and you think it's wrong for him to be not working
full time and to be hanging out at the house and playing on the
internet? Shoot, that's what most of the 75 year olds I know do!
[/quote]
I'm not the OP, but he would be 59 years old 16 years ago. I
guess the OP is thinking about the entire 16 years of behavior.
Still, one does not invite only half of a couple and I can't
imagine what the OP's DH was thinking.
[/quote]
59... which is 5 years past "conventional" retirement age. I
know people who plan to retire by then.
[/quote]
Wolfie, I think you might be in Europe? In US the expected
retirement age is more like 65, and getting older as congress is
gradually raising the age we can collect social security. Some
people do retire earlier, but it’s not super common. Those
people I know that have done that typically have planned
extensively, or worked for the government or were in the
military all of their lives. In my line of work, I’ll have to
pay my own healthcare if I retire before a certain age, and
that’s really pricey. I talked to a coworker today who told me
he’d love to retire, but he will be 70 before it’s possible.
[/quote]
No I live in NY. But 16 years ago 55 was considered a good age
to retire. At this point I know with health care costs many
people are worried if they can afford to retire but I am
surprised how many people on this thread are shocked that a 75
year old isn't working.
[/quote]
How odd. Even as a child (more than 16 years ago :P), I was
always told 65 is the "normal" age of retirement. Maybe that's
just the age where you got full benefits or something ???
#Post#: 20713--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATE
DIR By: Star Wars Fan
Date: December 4, 2018, 3:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> [quote author=GardenGal link=topic=850.msg20587#msg20587
date=1543829224]
> Hi again- good news! My BFF brought up the possibility her
and her boyfriend moving into our apartment and I told her that
DH and I had thought more about it and that it wouldn't be
possible for the reasons I mentioned above, and she was
perfectly understanding about it. She asked with a grin if she
might move there "when he dies" (he's 75), and I told her of
course! So, all's well.
>
> Thanks for your replies.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wait, he's 75 and you think it's wrong for him to be not working
full time and to be hanging out at the house and playing on the
internet? Shoot, that's what most of the 75 year olds I know do!
That exactly what I think. From the way it sounded I figured
they were much younger people, but being that they're in their
70s they're old enough to be my parents! And I don't know
anybody that age that works full time (maybe a few people that
work part time). Most of them because they want to be retired
and some of them because they're just not physically able to
anymore. So I really don't understand what the OP's thinking. I
know they don't like the boyfriend, but unless he's being
verbally or physically abusive this is a case where they should
definitely mind their own business.
Ed.
[/quote]
#Post#: 20759--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her.
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: December 5, 2018, 4:35 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: GardenGal link ---
>
> TBH, it saddens me that she has settled for this guy rather
than continuing to date and keep her options open, but obviously
that's her choice and not my call. At our ages (early 70s), the
dating pool is pretty shallow.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think you've answered your own question here. If the dating
pool for your ages/location is shallow, perhaps your friend
doesn't think she'd find anyone better (if at all). Yeah, this
guy sounds like a total mooch, but maybe he's a decent companion
in other ways?
And add me to the list of people who say there's no real polite
way to extend an offer like that to only half of a long-term,
established, living-together couple. Sorry!
#Post#: 20763--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATE
DIR By: Hanna
Date: December 5, 2018, 6:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Rose Red link ---
>
> [quote author=wolfie link=topic=850.msg20709#msg20709
date=1543953523]
> [quote author=Hanna link=topic=850.msg20659#msg20659
date=1543888096]
> [quote author=wolfie link=topic=850.msg20610#msg20610
date=1543857672]
> [quote author=Rose Red link=topic=850.msg20600#msg20600
date=1543847879]
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=850.msg20597#msg20597
date=1543846051]
> [quote author=GardenGal link=topic=850.msg20587#msg20587
date=1543829224]
> Hi again- good news! My BFF brought up the possibility her
and her boyfriend moving into our apartment and I told her that
DH and I had thought more about it and that it wouldn't be
possible for the reasons I mentioned above, and she was
perfectly understanding about it. She asked with a grin if she
might move there "when he dies" (he's 75), and I told her of
course! So, all's well.
>
> Thanks for your replies.
>
--- End Quote ---
Wait, he's 75 and you think it's wrong for him to be not working
full time and to be hanging out at the house and playing on the
internet? Shoot, that's what most of the 75 year olds I know do!
[/quote]
I'm not the OP, but he would be 59 years old 16 years ago. I
guess the OP is thinking about the entire 16 years of behavior.
Still, one does not invite only half of a couple and I can't
imagine what the OP's DH was thinking.
[/quote]
59... which is 5 years past "conventional" retirement age. I
know people who plan to retire by then.
[/quote]
Wolfie, I think you might be in Europe? In US the expected
retirement age is more like 65, and getting older as congress is
gradually raising the age we can collect social security. Some
people do retire earlier, but it’s not super common. Those
people I know that have done that typically have planned
extensively, or worked for the government or were in the
military all of their lives. In my line of work, I’ll have to
pay my own healthcare if I retire before a certain age, and
that’s really pricey. I talked to a coworker today who told me
he’d love to retire, but he will be 70 before it’s possible.
[/quote]
No I live in NY. But 16 years ago 55 was considered a good age
to retire. At this point I know with health care costs many
people are worried if they can afford to retire but I am
surprised how many people on this thread are shocked that a 75
year old isn't working.
[/quote]
How odd. Even as a child (more than 16 years ago :P), I was
always told 65 is the "normal" age of retirement. Maybe that's
just the age where you got full benefits or something ???
[/quote]
Same here, and in my family it’s common to work into your 70s.
My great grandmother worked until she was 91, I think. Grandpa
until he was 78 at least. I have an aunt working still at 71,
Uncle at 77, another aunt on the other side of the family that’s
79 and that’s off the top of my head. My parents retired at 62
and 65 and considered themselves lucky, because both expected to
work until at least 66. But they both had state jobs while all
the other people mentioned above run their own businesses and I
think they generally don’t know what to do with themselves other
than work.
I don’t think this guy is a bum for not working at his age, but
I do think quitting so young and then living off his girlfriend
shows a lack of character.
#Post#: 20770--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATES see #6 & #8
DIR By: wolfie
Date: December 5, 2018, 9:14 am
---------------------------------------------------------
i always heard it as you get your gold watch and retire at 55.
How often that happens i have no idea but i know of at least two
families by me who hope to retire in their late 40s. And if
someone can afford to retire at a "young age" then who am I to
judge them. Good for them for being able to drop out of the rat
race.
#Post#: 20784--------------------------------------------------
Re: I don't like by BFF's boyfriend, but want to see more of
her. UPDATES see #6 & #8
DIR By: Hanna
Date: December 5, 2018, 11:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: wolfie link ---
>
> i always heard it as you get your gold watch and retire at 55.
How often that happens i have no idea but i know of at least two
families by me who hope to retire in their late 40s. And if
someone can afford to retire at a "young age" then who am I to
judge them. Good for them for being able to drop out of the rat
race.
>
--- End Quote ---
As long as they are not doing it on the back of a 75 year old
woman, good for them!
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