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#Post#: 27625--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - frustrating
update #40
DIR By: Sweet Jane
Date: March 14, 2019, 11:49 am
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Super frustrating update >:(
I found out (from listening to Tina's mom complain) that Tina
has ADHD and that anger management issues are common in kids
with ADHD.
But it turns out that Tina's mom is a bit delusional as well.
She thinks that because anger management issues often come with
ADHD, Tina should not be disciplined for angry outbursts. She
doesn't think she needs to do anything about them, either,
because they're "normal."
Tina is close to being expelled from the afterschool activity
she and Ava participate in because of her anger. She's been
pushing and hitting other kids, throwing things, and yelling at
kids and adults. Many of the kids are scared of her and the
adults who run the activity are tired of being told that Tina's
behavior doesn't need to change but the adults and kids need to
adjust their expectations when it comes to Tina. Apparently if
they don't like being hit or yelled at, everyone should just go
along with whatever Tina wants.
I feel for the kid. I can't imagine it's fun to be so angry all
the time and it seems to me that learning some coping strategies
would make her life so much easier.
#Post#: 27626--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: March 14, 2019, 11:51 am
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Poor Tina, her mom is not doing her any favors.
#Post#: 27628--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: malfoyfan13
Date: March 14, 2019, 1:33 pm
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re: update. It's so sad that Tina's mother is not using this as
a teaching moment for her daughter to help her learn to cope and
behave around other people. It's unfortunate that some parents
use a diagnosis like this one to stand back and do nothing
rather than get in there and work with her daughter. Does she
think that society in general will always walk on eggshells
around Tina? Can you imagine 10 years from now when she can't
hold a job or make friends because she has no idea how to
interact successfully with other people? I'll never understand
parents like this. Why make your kid into a pariah?
#Post#: 27631--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: oogyda
Date: March 14, 2019, 2:39 pm
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--- Quote from: malfoyfan13 link ---
>
> re: update. It's so sad that Tina's mother is not using this
as a teaching moment for her daughter to help her learn to cope
and behave around other people. It's unfortunate that some
parents use a diagnosis like this one to stand back and do
nothing rather than get in there and work with her daughter.
Does she think that society in general will always walk on
eggshells around Tina? Can you imagine 10 years from now when
she can't hold a job or make friends because she has no idea how
to interact successfully with other people? I'll never
understand parents like this. Why make your kid into a pariah?
>
--- End Quote ---
I don't have to imagine, I see it in my niece. She was
diagnosed with ADHD as a child and her parents chose to not
medicate. Unfortunately, they also chose to not put in much
effort as parents. Too often, niece's misbehavior was accepted
rather than dealt with because "She has ADHD." At 29, she is
finally starting to learn how to function in a world that does
not shrug off her behavior.
#Post#: 27632--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: Jem
Date: March 14, 2019, 3:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think it is important to be sensitive to people with special
needs, but to expect people to cater to their poor behavior is
simply inappropriate. If Tina cannot contain her anger, she
should not be in the general population. The idea behind a
diagnosis, as I understand it, is to help the person overcome
whatever issues they have. Not to provide them with an excuse to
behave badly.
#Post#: 27633--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: Winterlight
Date: March 14, 2019, 5:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
It sounds like Tina's mother is setting her up for failure down
the line. Part of having a job is being able to get along with
other people even if you don't like them all that much. Not to
mention, responding physically or screaming at others is also a
terrible idea in any workplace. In the short term, she's going
to miss out on friends and fun activities because other people
won't want to invite her or she'll get kicked out due to
misbehavior.
Poor kid- but not for the reason her mother thinks it.
#Post#: 27635--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: March 14, 2019, 5:57 pm
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If the school knows that Tina is hitting/bullying other children
and does nothing, that makes them legally liable in many states
and can be sued. So perhaps if the parents of Tina’s victims
join together and tell the school that they will hold them
responsible for their children’s injuries, the school will take
action.
Also, Tina could be charged with assault and battery and placed
into the juvenile system.
#Post#: 27639--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: andi
Date: March 14, 2019, 7:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Jem link ---
>
> The idea behind a diagnosis, as I understand it, is to help
the person overcome whatever issues they have. Not to provide
them with an excuse to behave badly.
>
--- End Quote ---
POD.
#Post#: 27704--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - frustrating
update #40
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: March 16, 2019, 10:43 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Sheena link ---
>
> Super frustrating update >:(
>
> I found out (from listening to Tina's mom complain) that Tina
has ADHD and that anger management issues are common in kids
with ADHD.
>
> But it turns out that Tina's mom is a bit delusional as well.
She thinks that because anger management issues often come with
ADHD, Tina should not be disciplined for angry outbursts. She
doesn't think she needs to do anything about them, either,
because they're "normal."
>
> Tina is close to being expelled from the afterschool activity
she and Ava participate in because of her anger. She's been
pushing and hitting other kids, throwing things, and yelling at
kids and adults. Many of the kids are scared of her and the
adults who run the activity are tired of being told that Tina's
behavior doesn't need to change but the adults and kids need to
adjust their expectations when it comes to Tina. Apparently if
they don't like being hit or yelled at, everyone should just go
along with whatever Tina wants.
>
> I feel for the kid. I can't imagine it's fun to be so angry
all the time and it seems to me that learning some coping
strategies would make her life so much easier.
>
--- End Quote ---
She is misinformed. The child may have anger issues but they
don't come from ADHD. I would call her out on this crap! My
husband, son and grandson all have ADHD. None has anger issues.
In fact, my grandson is the sweetest and most considerate child
you would ever want to meet. He just has a short attention span.
#Post#: 27706--------------------------------------------------
Re: How not to be the Mean Girl to a mean child - update #24,
frustrating update #40
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: March 16, 2019, 10:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
My ADHD son did have anger issues, but as he's matured, things
have gotten better -- but we've also been working with him, as
did the school.
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