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#Post#: 19968--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: JeanFromBNA
Date: November 26, 2018, 1:34 pm
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Back to the bedspread . . . that woman would be on nothing but
$25 WalMart gift cards from now on, if it were me.
#Post#: 20004--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: November 26, 2018, 4:38 pm
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Nothing more than a clearly store bought Hallmark card. Nothing
enclosed. Maybe signed.
#Post#: 20007--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: November 26, 2018, 4:44 pm
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--- Quote from: gramma dishes link ---
>
> Nothing more than a clearly store bought Hallmark card.
Nothing enclosed. Maybe signed.
>
--- End Quote ---
I used to work with a guy who had a stamp that said, "Warmest
personal regards, Will"
He used it to sign all the office birthday cards, etc. (he kept
it in the office, so I don't know if he used it on anything
personal)
It absolutely cracked me up.
#Post#: 20014--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: VorFemme
Date: November 26, 2018, 5:07 pm
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I'd be getting my MIL gift cards to her favorite fast food
places - which oddly enough was something that my father loved
getting. His "fitness" walk was to McDonald's daily to drink
coffee in the afternoon with some acquaintances and going to
Taco Bell whenever they went to the next larger town to see
their doctor. He liked that "his kids were taking him out to
lunch" when he pulled on of his gift cards out to pay for for
his order!
The other messages on Slate that day were, well, a couple of
them were downright disturbing. Nothing to do with etiquette,
either.
#Post#: 20030--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: Luci
Date: November 26, 2018, 6:23 pm
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Still think it’s not worth messing up relationships further
for. The DIL sounds young for some some reason and I had my MIL
for 48 years. At least MIL wrote about it and we hope she didn’t
write the letter to DIL.
#Post#: 20048--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: November 26, 2018, 7:28 pm
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> [quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=830.msg20004#msg20004
date=1543271899]
> Nothing more than a clearly store bought Hallmark card.
Nothing enclosed. Maybe signed.
>
--- End Quote ---
I used to work with a guy who had a stamp that said, "Warmest
personal regards, Will"
He used it to sign all the office birthday cards, etc. (he kept
it in the office, so I don't know if he used it on anything
personal)
It absolutely cracked me up.
[/quote]
Now that's funny! And how perfect for this situation. ;D
#Post#: 20056--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: Winterlight
Date: November 26, 2018, 8:40 pm
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Well, I'd say that DIL has learned a valuable lesson- she cannot
win with this woman, so it's better off to drop the rope and not
play.
#Post#: 20072--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: Venus193
Date: November 27, 2018, 7:07 am
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The MIL would probably find fault with everything no matter
what. The LW is in a no-win situation.
#Post#: 20163--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: HenrysMom
Date: November 27, 2018, 9:49 pm
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--- Quote from: Aleko link ---
>
> [quote]Story time: Years ago, my then DH wanted a long robe
that wasn’t terry cloth for his birthday. So I trotted myself
to every department store in the Bay Area and came up with
zilch. So I went to the fabric store, bought a pattern and
fabric, and sewed late into the night (he was on graveyard
shift) for 3-4 days in secret, until completed. On his big day,
I presented it to him, he liked it, all was good. The next
month, he blew off my birthday, and when asked, he said, “Oh you
only spent $25 on my present, so I shouldn’t have to get you
anything.” I didn’t speak to him for a solid week, and my
mother had to explain the value of a hand-sewn item before he
apologized.
--- End Quote ---
Let me guess: his family just weren't good at giving and
accepting presents? This really is something you learn (or don't
learn) as a child. My DH's family was in thrall to a toxic (and
latterly clinically schizophrenic) aunt who at Christmas and
birthdays would give his parents some money to buy a present on
her behalf for her nephew, and insisted on being given in return
a present of the EXACT same value. If they couldn't find
something suitable for that price, they had to make the
difference up with a bag of sweets or something, or there would
be hell to pay. Sp when DH and I first got together, although he
is by nature a very generous person, and positively had to be
discouraged on splashing out on spontaneous gifts whenever I
mentioned in passing that I liked something, he still looked on
'official' gifting occasions like Christmas as a joyless ritual
exchange. Maybe your ex-DH had had a similar experience growing
up?
[/quote]
Nope, it was that I had only “spent” $25 for his birthday. He
didn’t factor in the time, effort, and lost sleep I expended to
make the thing. My mother had to sit him down and explain that
me cutting out the pattern, assembly and sewing, setting up AND
taking down the sewing machine every night before he came home
in the a.m. (so it’d be a surprise) had value. It took that
before he realized that the gift was worth a lot more than $25.
He kept it for years, until after he left to be with his
girlfriend, then I threw it away along with everything else I
had made him. I’d be a skewered goat before I’d let him enjoy
my handiwork after that.
#Post#: 20165--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is this really an etiquette gaffe?
DIR By: VorFemme
Date: November 27, 2018, 10:55 pm
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Several decades ago, I made VorGuy a nice thick velour robe and
later made robes for his parents and grandparents for Christmas
using the same pattern.
He still has it, there is a small tear in the fabric but it's
hanging in the closet. The new one that he got for Christmas is
on the bed - but it is longer, so it keeps his legs warmer AND
there is not a hole (no matter how small) in the fabric.
He's been wearing that thing longer than our DD has been alive,
so it has earned an "honorable retirement" - he could even get
rid of it if he wants...but I'm not going to get rid of it for
him.
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