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       #Post#: 19907--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 26, 2018, 9:00 am
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       [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=820.msg19639#msg19639
       date=1542990330]
       Depends. I had a co-worker who had to know every detail about
       what I was doing and always wanted to go to lunch with me or
       have me pick up something for her. I got to where I would slip
       out a back door when it was time for lunch. If you are having to
       cover for him, though, he should at least give you a passing,
       "I'm leaving."
       [/quote]
       I understand that maneuver. Your own time (including lunch or
       breaks) are just that... your own time. No explanation of how
       you plan to spend it should be necessary and I would not
       appreciate someone who thinks I owe them any of that time. I am
       certainly not wanting all the details!
       #Post#: 19975--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: QueenFaninCA Date: November 26, 2018, 2:16 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I share an office with a (lovely) coworker. Whoever arrives
       second in the morning (usually me) says "good morning" and gets
       a "good morning" back. If we leave for a few minutes (bathroom
       break, getting something from the printer, going to a coworker
       to ask a question,....) we don't say anything. If we leave for
       lunch, a longer meeting or for the day, we let the other person
       know.
       #Post#: 19992--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: Hanna Date: November 26, 2018, 3:42 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       If I was being left in a building alone I would want to know.
       Not just for breaks, but for anything longer than 15 minutes.
       This just seems like a basic courtesy to me.
       #Post#: 20311--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: myfamily Date: November 29, 2018, 12:55 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I have a coworker who will not let me know when she is not going
       to be in the office.  This isn't such a big deal, in general,
       except over the years the concept of not having a receptionist
       so everyone answers the phone has slowly defaulted to only me
       answering the phone (and the door) as various people didn't want
       their assistant answering the phone.  So, then I'd have calls
       for her and not know she isn't there - and our system doesn't
       allow for a clean transfer, so I'd have to sit on the phone
       until it went to voice mail, and not be able to do my job.
       I had to have multiple conversations with her, her supervisor,
       and my supervisor.  I said the same thing each time - I don't
       need to know why she won't be here, I just need to know if she
       won't be here.  I'm not going to keep track of how many days she
       takes off or if she is leaving for a lot of appointments, but I
       just need to know if she won't be here.  Because I have to
       answer the phone, when I am going to be out, I not only have to
       notify my supervisor, I also have to notify almost all of my
       coworkers, so I don't think I'm asking much to be notified when
       they will not be here.
       It is a struggle and it is rude.  I think you would be perfectly
       in the right to ask him to let you know when he is leaving,
       especially for the day, so you are aware you need to be more on
       top of answering the door and anything else you have to do.
       #Post#: 20718--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: bopper Date: December 4, 2018, 4:24 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Myfamily:
       You have to start making this her problem.
       Maybe:  "No, she's not here. Have no idea where she is or when
       she'll be back. I'll send you to her voicemail."
       Or take a message and tell people they need to stop by to get
       the message.
       Can they not call her directly?
       #Post#: 20728--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: Thitpualso Date: December 4, 2018, 6:47 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       In a professional context, I see ‘ghosting’ as following a more
       experienced employee to learn aspects of the job.  In the
       situation described, the worker who is ‘ghosting’ is simply
       disappearing and leaving the OP alone with no idea when the
       other will return.
       When there are only two people in an office, this is totally
       unacceptable.  When one person in a two person office leaves,
       the other should have a reasonable time frame.  ‘I’m going to
       lunch.  I’ll be back before one’ or I’m going to the bathroom.
       I’ll be back in 15 minutes’ is just fine. The same rules should
       apply to both people.
       If one can just leave with no notice and the other can’t, the
       co-worker left behind effectively becomes the employee of the
       one who leaves at will.
       #Post#: 20729--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: Pattycake Date: December 4, 2018, 6:50 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Thitpualso link=topic=820.msg20728#msg20728
       date=1543970827]
       In a professional context, I see ‘ghosting’ as following a more
       experienced employee to learn aspects of the job.  In the
       situation described, the worker who is ‘ghosting’ is simply
       disappearing and leaving the OP alone with no idea when the
       other will return.
       When there are only two people in an office, this is totally
       unacceptable.  When one person in a two person office leaves,
       the other should have a reasonable time frame.  ‘I’m going to
       lunch.  I’ll be back before one’ or I’m going to the bathroom.
       I’ll be back in 15 minutes’ is just fine. The same rules should
       apply to both people.
       If one can just leave with no notice and the other can’t, the
       co-worker left behind effectively becomes the employee of the
       one who leaves at will.
       [/quote]
       I have heard that called "shadowing." Ghosting in most contexts
       is disappearing without letting someone know - ie. turning into
       a ghost.
       #Post#: 20813--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Ghosting At Work
       By: myfamily Date: December 5, 2018, 2:49 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=bopper link=topic=820.msg20718#msg20718
       date=1543962298]
       Myfamily:
       You have to start making this her problem.
       Maybe:  "No, she's not here. Have no idea where she is or when
       she'll be back. I'll send you to her voicemail."
       Or take a message and tell people they need to stop by to get
       the message.
       Can they not call her directly?
       [/quote]
       I'd love to make this her problem, but if I tell people that she
       isn't here and I don't know when she'll be back, I'll be
       unprofessional, so that is not an option.  I won't hurt my
       reputation to make a point with her.  I do, though, each time it
       happens, reach out to her supervisor and make it a point of
       asking if she will be in that day and when she will be back.
       So, he knows and I do make it his problem.  I also point it out
       when he asks me to help her with a project because she is
       overwhelmed or doesn't know what she is doing, and I'll agree to
       do it (if my schedule allows for it), while pointing out that it
       would be nice if she could return the favor by at least telling
       me when she is going to be out of the office....
       And yes, people can call her directly, but many times if they
       cannot get her, they'll hang up and call back and just hit zero
       instead of her extension.  I can't force people to dial her
       extension over 0.
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