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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 19331--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: November 19, 2018, 10:12 am
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I wouldn't say "ouch." That may egg him on.
Like others suggested, say "I was answering a question so it's
not useless. Why would you say that?" is good. Never let him see
you angry because if he's trying to insult, being angry (or any
other emotion) gives him what he want.
Then if he doesn't give a sincere or acceptable answer, perfect
the Spock eyebrow and deadpan expression. Don't say a word. It
makes people uncomfortable when they know they deliberately
did/say something insulting.
#Post#: 19333--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: Thitpualso
Date: November 19, 2018, 10:25 am
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To my mind, sarcasm IS the same as insult. Both are
mean-spirited and meant to prove one’s superiority when such
superiority doesn’t exist.
#Post#: 19334--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: Carol1412
Date: November 19, 2018, 10:26 am
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I speak fluent Sarcasm. This was not - it was insulting. (Yes,
my opinion and I would have reacted negatively if a friend had
said such a thing.)
#Post#: 19339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: lowspark
Date: November 19, 2018, 11:29 am
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Another suggestion: "Did you mean to say that out loud?"
That gives them an opportunity to save face once they realize it
didn't come across as they'd intended.
But if they still aren't catching on, add, "Because it came
across as rather insulting."
Sometimes people really don't "listen to themselves" and don't
realize how their comments are perceived. Perhaps this person is
just one of those and they really do need people to sort of stop
them in their tracks so that they can learn to evaluate their
comments before they escape their lips.
As to whether or not it was insulting, "and give out useless
information" is what clinched it for me. How can it be useless
if someone specifically asked the OP for the information? It
comes off sounding like the speaker is jealous that they don't
have the ability to retain information as well as the OP.
#Post#: 19354--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: GreenBird
Date: November 19, 2018, 2:16 pm
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This is so context-dependent, and without knowing your friend
and being there, it's hard to say what he meant. It sounds like
an attempt at a joke (that fell flat), but if he makes a lot of
cutting remarks maybe it was meant that way. Going on to say
"and give out useless information" might have been meant as an
insult, or it might have been a clumsy attempt to give some
context to "Rainman", since the movie came out 30 years ago.
I guess I'd just look at your overall interactions with him to
see what the pattern is.
#Post#: 19362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: Jem
Date: November 19, 2018, 3:07 pm
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--- Quote from: GreenBird link ---
>
> This is so context-dependent, and without knowing your friend
and being there, it's hard to say what he meant. It sounds like
an attempt at a joke (that fell flat), but if he makes a lot of
cutting remarks maybe it was meant that way. Going on to say
"and give out useless information" might have been meant as an
insult, or it might have been a clumsy attempt to give some
context to "Rainman", since the movie came out 30 years ago.
>
> I guess I'd just look at your overall interactions with him to
see what the pattern is.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yep - I agree. I don't see a reference to Rainman as insulting,
nor do I think the phrase "useless information" implies
something insulting. Various people have knowledge of various
things for whatever reason - it has little to do with
intelligence or lack thereof. Consider the movie Slumdog
Millionaire. In that movie, the protagonist won a lot of money
because his life trajectory equipped him with a lot of "useless
knowledge." It's not a negative thing to know "useless
information." It's just a recognition that the information isn't
something super-important to the average person's daily life in
the way that "knowledge" that 2+2=4 is.
If there is some overall reason to think this person meant to
insult you, I would focus on that rather than this instance
specifically.
#Post#: 19364--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: November 19, 2018, 3:09 pm
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irises08 ~~ Just out of curiosity, is this the only time your
friend ever did something like this? And what was the reaction
of the person who asked the question? ???
#Post#: 19436--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: irises08
Date: November 20, 2018, 1:25 pm
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gramma dishes, this was the only time my friend did this. The
person who asked the question did not say anything other then
thank you when I answered the question.
#Post#: 19458--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: guest725
Date: November 20, 2018, 8:01 pm
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How would anyone here feel if they asked someone a question, she
answered, and someone else chimed in with the "useless
information" remark? I for one would think he's a jerk for
humiliating someone else because he apparently didn't seem the
question worthy.
#Post#: 19475--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need your opinion...insult or sarcasm?
DIR By: Aleko
Date: November 21, 2018, 1:48 am
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I think that, while likening someone to Rainman is insulting if
taken literally, people do use the reference simply to mean
someone who can come out with all kinds of abstruse information,
not necessarily meaning it in a bad way. I am that kind of
person, my mind stuffed with odd facts like a magpie's nest
stuffed with shinies, and I wouldn't turn a hair if anyone said
that part to me.
It's the second part that is hurtful. But it still could just be
clumsiness rather than intent. I and my father (who is clearly
where I got the tendency from) would quite cheerfully describe
ourselves as 'purveyors of useless information', and I dare say
you would too; it could be that this guy just doesn't realise
that there are things one is happy to say about oneself in jest
that one would not wish to have said by someone else. So, it
really boils down to what you know about his personality in
general - foot-in-mouth or snideness?
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