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       #Post#: 19008--------------------------------------------------
       Re: “There is no event scheduled under those names”
       By: mime Date: November 14, 2018, 1:07 pm
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       [quote author=Aleko link=topic=801.msg19007#msg19007
       date=1542221584]
       [quote]Oh, my.  I agree that the groom needs to address this
       with his father, and the bride needs to let him do that.
       This is also a time to make sure the groom's character and
       identity is his own, rather than that of his father's son. They
       both should be reaching out to friends and family to try to
       restore connections that were damaged. This won't be
       easy.[/quote]
       I'll say. And while you're absolutely right that the bride
       should stay well clear of her groom's dealings with his father,
       bride and groom need to work together to repair the damage. They
       need to present a united front, so that when people ask 'what
       happened there?' they aren't each telling it differently. And if
       the groom feels he needs to preserve his father's good name if
       possible and not dump the blame frankly where it belongs, they
       have to find and agree a form of words that they can use.
       [/quote]
       Definitely. I can see that the groom could start to feel
       defensive of his father and his family as the word starts to
       spread. He and the bride should be delivering the same message
       for sure.
       #Post#: 19069--------------------------------------------------
       Re: “There is no event scheduled under those names”
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 15, 2018, 9:26 am
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       [quote author=Aleko link=topic=801.msg19007#msg19007
       date=1542221584]
       Oh, my.  I agree that the groom needs to address this with his
       father, and the bride needs to let him do that.
       This is also a time to make sure the groom's character and
       identity is his own, rather than that of his father's son. They
       both should be reaching out to friends and family to try to
       restore connections that were damaged. This won't be
       easy.[/quote]
       I'll say. And while you're absolutely right that the bride
       should stay well clear of her groom's dealings with his father,
       bride and groom need to work together to repair the damage. They
       need to present a united front, so that when people ask 'what
       happened there?' they aren't each telling it differently. And if
       the groom feels he needs to preserve his father's good name if
       possible and not dump the blame frankly where it belongs, they
       have to find and agree a form of words that they can use.
       [/quote]
       Agreed. While it may be better to let my new husband deal with
       the relationship with his father alone, I would not want him to
       handle the aftermath with all the guests. Reaching out to each
       invited guests is a lot of work both physically and emotionally.
       I would want to start our marriage off as a team. Even if it was
       decided that the groom is the better person to get in touch with
       the guests, I would want this be a role that we agreed upon and
       I would want to act in a supportive manner.
       #Post#: 19985--------------------------------------------------
       Re: “There is no event scheduled under those names”
       By: Lkdrymom Date: November 26, 2018, 3:11 pm
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       So it is more embarrassing to just cancel the party than to
       allow many of your relatives and friends to incur large expenses
       traveling to a now non existent party?  Were no family members
       who had airfare and hotel bills not angry or at least what to
       know why they just wasted their time and money????
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