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#Post#: 18607--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: guest657
Date: November 8, 2018, 4:08 pm
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In our circle, we don't worry about tracking reciprocation or
attendance from year to year - kids change, their friendships
change, and class assignments change so much it's just not worth
the trouble.
We start with what size party we can afford (for an activity) or
physically deal with at home - usually kid's age plus one, more
or less.
Then we just ask the birthday child who they want to be included
in that number. It always seems to work out that some will be
longtime friends, some new.
We do either E-vites or text. If I don't already have contact
info for the parents, and it's not on the class email list, then
I send a note to school for my child to give to that child with
my email/phone, asking the parents to get in touch because my
kid wanted to get together with theirs.
We used to get invited to more all-class parties at jump gyms or
other activities. That is rarer now - it started fading out in
second grade. There's just one kid who still does it, but he
lives on a small farm and has a pool -- and a hot-weather
birthday.
#Post#: 18644--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: otterwoman
Date: November 8, 2018, 9:13 pm
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As a parent whose child was invited to only one party last
school year, I ask that if you can swing it, invite every child
in the class. My daughter was thrilled beyond measure to go to
that one party. It broke my heart that no one else thought to
invite her. When we had her party, there were a few kids who
came whose parents seemed equally as thrilled for their kids to
be invited to a party.
No one will think it's a gift grab. They'll be happy you wore
their kids out for a few hours.
#Post#: 18669--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: Despedina
Date: November 9, 2018, 11:19 am
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My children rarely get invited to anything. My younger son got
invited to a bday party last in about 2nd grade. The parents
always rented someplace, in that case a bouncy house location,
and spent a large amount of money to get kids to come. We've
tried inviting classes full of kids to our house to play video
games and we have a play set and trampoline and every time maybe
2 kids came with no RSVPs until the morning of. Another parent
told me we should have it at a cool location to which I
responded I was not interested in bribing kids to come to my
son's bday.
We have since only invited the kids my sons are closest with.
Today is my younger son's birthday and he chose a trampoline
place. The cost is $23 per person plus socks or the cheapest
party package is $300 for Ten jumpers on the weekend (which
includes pizza and soda). We are going for the individual price
and taking son to the restaurant of his choice beforehand with
his friends. I would not like to pay for a classroom full of
kids many of whom don't really associate with my son.
#Post#: 18676--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: November 9, 2018, 12:30 pm
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Once my kid got out of daycare and into school, I did the
"invite one more kid than my child's age" thing (so, invite 9
kids for an 8th b'day, which means 10 max).
And I had my child pick the kids he wanted to spend time with.
This meant that those kids were more likely to come, because
they were friends.
It alsio meant that they weren't necessarily from his class, or
even from his grade, or even from his school. It was all mixed
up.
It also meant I had to be a little more creative w/ getting
invitations in their hands, bcs it wasn't fair to have the
teacher pass them out. I tended to get my kid involved in that
process, along w/ instructions about not making other kids feel
bad.
#Post#: 18677--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: November 9, 2018, 12:31 pm
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oh, and every time my kids were invited to an "all class" party,
we never, ever thought it was a gift grab. you could buy all the
toys for less money than the parents spent on the party.
We always assumed it was intended to include everyone out of
kindness, or out of a desire to make sure the kid had as much
fun as possible.
#Post#: 18692--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: jpcher
Date: November 9, 2018, 4:26 pm
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I think that it's important to get your child's input on the
party. Let him/her be a part of the planning even at an early
age.
Get input on how the last party went, would he/she like to
invite the whole class again? Or have a smaller party with just
a few close friends? Ask your child what sort of activity he/she
would like to do. What theme, etc. Have your child help with the
prep and planning as well.
When my DDs were growing up (their Bdays are 2 years and 1 day
apart) so we always had a joint bday party. I kept the parties
small, each were allowed only 3 guests (sometimes I gave a wink
and nod, okay you can have 4) and usually included some type of
craft. Their bdays are very close to Mother's Day so one year we
all made gifts for their moms. One year it was going to a movie,
special things like that.
Then on their '5' year bday (5, 10, 15) they were each allowed
to invite 10 guests each, no matter which one was having the '5'
party. DDs were given choices: Swim party? Bouncy castle/ball
pool at the local rec center? Party in the Park (I'm a block
away from a public park so this included structured games with
prizes).
Personally? I enjoyed the smaller parties more than the larger
parties. DDs? Enjoyed them all ;).
Smaller parties allowed me to get to get to know the DDs closer
friends. Larger parties, I asked some parents to help supervise,
and while I got to know some of the parents a bit better, I
didn't get to know the kids. If that makes sense.
End story . . . make the best party for your child. Again,
involve your child in the type of party that he/she would like
to have and remember.
Etiquette-wise? If you're going to hand out invitations at
school then you must invite the entire class. Absolutely nothing
gift-grabby about extending invitations.
#Post#: 18703--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: kidsandme
Date: November 9, 2018, 8:02 pm
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Thanks everyone for your replies, they were very helpful in
seeing other parents perspective. It will not be a whole class
invite since it is a split grade and my son does not want to
invite the older boys. But I will invite the boys that are in
the other classes that used to be in my sons class.
The parents and kids can decide if they want to come to the
party or not. Each child/parent will have their own reason for
attending or not attending.
#Post#: 18712--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: LifeOnPluto
Date: November 9, 2018, 9:42 pm
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--- Quote from: kidsandme link ---
>
> Thanks everyone for your replies, they were very helpful in
seeing other parents perspective. It will not be a whole class
invite since it is a split grade and my son does not want to
invite the older boys. But I will invite the boys that are in
the other classes that used to be in my sons class.
>
> The parents and kids can decide if they want to come to the
party or not. Each child/parent will have their own reason for
attending or not attending.
>
--- End Quote ---
I'm not a parent, but I've heard of the "invite a smaller
number, or the entire class (or all the boys/girls)" rule. Does
it still apply for split grades? For example, I wouldn't have
thought it a big deal to only invite the boys/kids in the lower
grade, but not the boys/kids in the higher grade. Just curious!
:)
#Post#: 18717--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: guest657
Date: November 9, 2018, 11:22 pm
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I think as long as it's a clear, non-personal line it's fine.
"Only the younger boys" isn't excluding anyone personally.
Unless the numbers are very uneven. If there were eight or ten
younger boys but only two or three older boys in the classroom
(because the upper class is mostly girls), then leaving them out
might cause hurt feelings.
But if the split of older/younger boys is close to even, it's
fine.
#Post#: 18908--------------------------------------------------
Re: Child Birthday Parties
DIR By: kidsandme
Date: November 12, 2018, 8:09 pm
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Thanks for all the replies but we have canceled the party and
have opted to have a big family outing.
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