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#Post#: 17536--------------------------------------------------
Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: Bada Date: October 29, 2018, 3:15 pm
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I saw this post on Not Always Right today:
HTML https://notalwaysright.com/well-intentioned-but-not-well-fed/126953/
The OP describes a situation where American business people set
up a meeting at noon. I think at their office, though it doesn't
say. The meeting was with a group of Persian businesspeople (who
had immigrated to the US). When the Persians arrived, the
Americans pulled out their bagged lunches and asked "Do you mind
if we eat?" The visitors, not wanting to be rude, told them to
go ahead--all while they were sittimg there hungrily since they
had expected to be served a lunch at a lunchtime meeting.
The OP uses the post as an opportunity to lecture about cultural
differences, saying that this is normal for American behavior,
but we should be aware of expectations being different in others
countries/cultures. I took a look at the comments below to see
if others had felt as I did: This is NOT normal American
behavior and was super rude. But I found some people saying they
did think what the Americans did was OK, depending on the
region.
1. Do you think this was just universally rude behavior, or
could you see a scenario or region where this would have been
normal business behavior?
Caveat: the OP wasn't there and he (she?) says he was a pre-teen
when he heard this story. So the details might be incorrect. But
I'm still curious what others think.
#Post#: 17538--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: TootsNYC Date: October 29, 2018, 3:25 pm
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I think it's SO "not done" and indeed rude.
If you arrange for a meeting at lunchtime, you absolutely must
make a plan for food.
And if you're "hosting" in any way--you initiated the meeting,
no matter where it is; or it's at your office (even if someone
else said, "can we come to your office?")--you need to either
provide lunch, or specifically say, "Let's have everyone bring
something.
My god!
I've never worked anywhere that we wouldn't have provided lunch
for a lunch w/ outsiders.
Sometimes for staff it's been brown-bag, but then it is
EXPLICITLY STATED.
#Post#: 17539--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 29, 2018, 3:25 pm
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I think that if it is labeled as a "lunch meeting" that I would
anticipate food. Depending on the wording, I would know to
either bring my own lunch ("brown bag") or to expect something
offered ("we will order pizza".) However, if the meeting had no
mention of food and was held in an office (rather than a
restaurant) then I would anticipate no food.
I was taught that it is rude to eat in front of others if you do
not have something to share. So, even if I did not have time to
lunch yet, I would not be pulling out one in front of business
guests like that. I would wait till afterwards.
#Post#: 17541--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: TootsNYC Date: October 29, 2018, 3:27 pm
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=779.msg17539#msg17539
date=1540844758]
I was taught that it is rude to eat in front of others if you do
not have something to share. So, even if I did not have time to
lunch yet, I would not be pulling out one in front of business
guests like that. I would wait till afterwards.
[/quote]
yes, that's the extreme rudeness of it!
#Post#: 17544--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: lowspark Date: October 29, 2018, 3:39 pm
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This is incredibly rude. I've never heard of such a thing
occurring in a business situation.
If you have a lunch time meeting and invite outsiders, you
provide lunch. Otherwise have it earlier or later.
I've seen "brown bag" invitations too, and they are always for
inside staff, not outside guests.
#Post#: 17545--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: lmyrs Date: October 29, 2018, 3:41 pm
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We'll have internal meetings over lunch where the invitation
will explicitly say to bring your own lunch. But, we'd never do
this with external people. If you have some sort of financial
constraints that prevent you from providing food, you don't host
the meeting over lunch hour. There are many other hours in a
day.
#Post#: 17551--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: Rose Red Date: October 29, 2018, 4:10 pm
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I never heard of this either. If not a full lunch, everywhere
I've worked usually provide cookies, bagels, fruit platter or
something like that. My current company is very frugal and even
they put out a cold cut/bread platter during lunch.
Even if they technically didn't say it's a lunch meeting so they
don't think guests/clients should expect anything, eating their
own lunch in front of guests/clients is very unprofessional.
#Post#: 17570--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: Pattycake Date: October 29, 2018, 5:28 pm
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Incredibly rude. They should have either provided lunch for
everyone, or let the other people know they needed to bring in
their own lunch, or told them to order in once they realized
they were going to eat and the others had no food.
#Post#: 17573--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: lakey Date: October 29, 2018, 6:11 pm
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I was a teacher in a school. For any meeting or event that took
place at lunchtime, either lunch was provided, or everyone was
told to bring their lunch. If lunch was being ordered from a
restaurant, we were told if we paid for our own, or if it would
be covered. We always knew exactly what to expect. Inviting
people from another group, and then eating in front of them
seems incredibly rude, whether the other people were Persians or
Americans.
#Post#: 17586--------------------------------------------------
Re: Meeting at lunch time and only providing for yourselves
By: mime Date: October 29, 2018, 7:51 pm
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I've seen my different companies' (all very large financial
institutions) generosity change over the 20-ish years of my
career so far. Depending on when this story happened, I may or
may not agree that the company buying lunch is typical.
When I started working, you could assume that a noon meeting
would include lunch on the company, and an 8:00 meeting would
include some sort of breakfast, and most meetings with outside
guests would include treats (maybe beverage and cookies). In
more recent years, the economy has changed, company margins have
changed... a lot is different. It has been much more the norm to
*not* expect free meals on the company-- maybe just a dessert,
unless meeting guests from outside the company ranked high
enough.
At all of my companies, the invitation listed whether food would
be provided, and some indication about what kind of food: pizza,
smorgasbord, desserts, or "tell the admin what you want from
this restaurant's menu and it will be delivered."
In any case, if a group of people are prepared for a brown bag
meeting and another group was clearly not prepared/informed, it
would be very rude for the first group to start eating. If
that's what folks were saying is "typical in the US", then I
strongly disagree. Especially if the group left out was a bunch
of guests! Not typical when I started my career, and not typical
now.
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