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#Post#: 16840--------------------------------------------------
Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: October 22, 2018, 4:09 pm
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I ran across this list of rules for polite behavior. Apparently
15yo George copied it from another list, probably as a school
exercise.
It was really interesting! Many of these are still really in
effect, and I thought I might highlight one or two:
HTML http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html
--- Quote ---
> 31st:
or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his
own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he
on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it
above once or twice.
--- End Quote ---
The idea that it can be impolite to be too polite, or too
generous, or try to hard to press an honor/favor/food/whatever
upon another person.
I think there are people who could learn this lesson.
#Post#: 16844--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: October 22, 2018, 4:28 pm
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and in case you can't click through for some reason, here's the
list, courtesy of Foundations Magazine (the list itself is in
the public domain):
--- Quote ---
>
>
> Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior
>
>
> "..and it may truly be said, that never did nature and fortune
combine more perfectly to make a man great.."
> – Thomas Jefferson, about George Washington, 1814
>
>
> The Rules:
> 1st
of Respect, to those that are Present.
>
> 2nd
Body, not usually Discovered.
>
> 3rd
>
> 4th
humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.
>
> 5th
Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your
handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.
>
> 6th
Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when
others Stop.
>
> 7th
out your Chamber half Dressed.
>
> 8th
last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.
>
> 9th
your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon
the Fire especially if there be meat before it.
>
> 10th
putting one on the other or Crossing them.
>
> 11th
nails.
>
> 12th
not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and
bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near
him when you Speak.
>
> 13th
Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot
Dexterously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions,
Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return
Thanks to him who puts it off.
>
> 14th
not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not
upon any one.
>
> 15th
Teeth Clean yet without Showing any great Concern for them.
>
> 16th
the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep
the Lips too open or too Close.
>
> 17th
to be Play'd Withal.
>
> 18th
there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave:
come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read
them unlesvs desired or give your opinion of them unasked also
look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.
>
> 19th
Somewhat grave.
>
> 20th
you are upon.
>
> 21st
to Put them that have in mind thereof.
>
> 22nd
though he were your enemy.
>
> 23rd
Pleased; but always show Pity to the Suffering Offender.
>
> 24th
Spectacle.
>
> 25th
are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.
>
> 26th
Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen &c make a Reverence, bowing more
or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality
of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they
Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there
is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and
resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.
>
> 27th
covered as well as not to do it to whom it's due Likewise he
that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet
he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time
of being asked; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in
behavior in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of
Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is
troublesome.
>
> 28th
Stand up though he be your Inferior, and when you Present Seats
let it be to every one according to his Degree.
>
> 29th
Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight
place to give way for him to Pass.
>
> 30th
be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him
whom you desire to Honor: but if three walk together the middest
Place is the most Honorable the wall is usually given to the
most worthy if two walk together.
>
> 31st
or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his
own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he
on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it
above once or twice.
>
> 32nd
to give the chief Place in your Lodging and he to who 'is
offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to
accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.
>
> 33rd
Precedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those
that are their equals in Birth or other Qualities, though they
have no Public charge.
>
> 34th
ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we
ought to begin.
>
> 35th
Comprehensive.
>
> 36th
ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and
highly Honor them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them
with affability & Courtesy, without Arrogance.
>
> 37th
full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full
Pace from them.
>
> 38th
if you be not Knowing therein.
>
> 39th
Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.
>
> 40th
Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.
>
> 41st
Professes; it Savours of arrogance.
>
> 42nd
of his place with whom thou converses for it is absurd to act
the same with a Clown and a Prince.
>
> 43rd
contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.
>
> 44th
blame not him that did it.
>
> 45th
ought to be in public or in Private; presently, or at Some other
time in what terms to do it & in reproving Show no Sign of
Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.
>
> 46th
Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time &
Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.
>
> 47th
Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty
and Pleasant abstain from Laughing thereat yourself.
>
> 48th
example is more prevalent than Precepts.
>
> 49th
nor Revile.
>
> 50th
Disparagement of any.
>
> 51st
be Brushed once every day at least and take heed that you
approach not to any Uncleaness.
>
> 52nd
Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of
your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times
and Places.
>
> 53rd
Mouth open go not Shaking your Arms kick not the earth with R
feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.
>
> 54th
See if you be well Decked, if your Shoes fit well if your
Stockings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.
>
> 55th
>
> 56th
your own Reputation; for 'is better to be alone than in bad
Company.
>
> 57th
Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him
the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first
that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face
towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him
Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner
that he may easily Speak to you.
>
> 58th
a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes
of Passion admit Reason to Govern.
>
> 59th
Rules Moral before your inferiors.
>
> 60th
Secret.
>
> 61st
Learned Men nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the
Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse
with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.
>
> 62nd
Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and
if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not
your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.
>
> 63rd
rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or
Kindred.
>
> 64th
not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans
Misfortune, though there Seem to be Some cause.
>
> 65th
Scoff at none although they give Occasion.
>
> 66th
Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it's a time to
Converse.
>
> 67th
Commanding.
>
> 68th
Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Asked & when
desired do it briefly.
>
> 69th
unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in
Things indifferent be of the Major Side.
>
> 70th
belongs to Parents Masters and Superiors.
>
> 71st
how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend
deliver not before others.
>
> 72nd
Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar;
Sublime matters treat Seriously.
>
> 73rd
bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.
>
> 74th
not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor
Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him
till his Speech be ended.
>
> 75th
but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well
intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in
while your Conversing it's handsome to Repeat what was said
before.
>
> 76th
of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk
especially to his face.
>
> 77th
in the Company of Others.
>
> 78th
Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for
the Same.
>
> 79th
thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your
Author always A Secret Discover not.
>
> 80th
the Company pleased therewith.
>
> 81st
approach those that Speak in Private.
>
> 82nd
keep your Promise.
>
> 83rd
Discretion, however mean the Person be you do it too.
>
> 84th
Speak nor Laugh.
>
> 85th
not til you are asked a Question then Stand upright put of your
Hat & Answer in few words.
>
> 86th
give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to
the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of
the Dispute.
>
> 87th
and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every
turn what others Say.
>
> 88th
nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.
>
> 89th
>
> 90th
your Nose except there's a Necessity for it.
>
> 91st
Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not
on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.
>
> 92nd
>
> 93rd
present him with meat; Undertake not to help others undesired by
the Master.
>
> 94th
what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at
Table but Stay till Cools of it Self.
>
> 95th
hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pie upon a Dish
nor Cast anything under the table.
>
> 96th
Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table
Napkin.
>
> 97th
swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.
>
> 98th
about you while you are drinking.
>
> 99th
after drinking, wipe your lips; breath not then or ever with too
great a noise, for its uncivil.
>
> 100th
fork, or knife; but if others do it, let it be done without a
peep to them.
>
> 101st
>
> 102nd
nor need you drink to others every time you drink.
>
> 103rd
than they are; lay not your arm but only your hand upon the
table.
>
> 104th
napkin and fall to meat first, but he ought then to begin in
time & to dispatch with dexterity that the slowest may have time
allowed him.
>
> 105th
reason to be so, show it not; put on a cheerful countenance
especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish
of meat a feast.
>
> 106th
your due or that the master of the house will have it so,
contend not, least you should trouble the company.
>
> 107th
with meat in your mouth.
>
> 108th
seriously & with reverence. Honor & obey your natural parents
although they be poor.
>
> 109th
> Don't allow yourself to become jaded, cynical or calloused.
>
> 110th
celestial fire called conscience.
>
>
> Note: Original spelling is unchanged.
>
> Finis
>
--- End Quote ---
I almost feel as if each of these could be its own thread!
#Post#: 16876--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: peony
Date: October 22, 2018, 10:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Now this is why I love this (and the old) etiquette forum. I
learn new things like this and they are fascinating. Thanks for
posting that, Toots!
#Post#: 16937--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: Chez Miriam
Date: October 23, 2018, 1:27 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
That's going to give me some interesting reading - thanks so
much for posting; I had no idea he'd created such a set of
rules.
#Post#: 16953--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: October 23, 2018, 4:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Apparently, he didn't create them--they came from another
source, and he copied them out as part of a school exercise.
--- Quote ---
> By age sixteen, Washington had copied out by hand, 110 Rules
of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. They
are based on a set of rules composed by French Jesuits in 1595.
Presumably they were copied out as part of an exercise in
penmanship assigned by young Washington's schoolmaster. The
first English translation of the French rules appeared in 1640,
and are ascribed to Francis Hawkins, the twelve-year-old son of
a doctor.
--- End Quote ---
#Post#: 16983--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: cabbageweevil
Date: October 24, 2018, 4:33 am
---------------------------------------------------------
That's a formidable list ! I take comfort from knowing that at
least I don't cleanse my teeth with the table cloth napkin,
fork, or knife -- not often, anyway ;D ...
#Post#: 16987--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: Chez Miriam
Date: October 24, 2018, 5:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> Apparently, he didn't create them--they came from another
source, and he copied them out as part of a school exercise.
>
> [quote]By age sixteen, Washington had copied out by hand, 110
Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.
They are based on a set of rules composed by French Jesuits in
1595. Presumably they were copied out as part of an exercise in
penmanship assigned by young Washington's schoolmaster. The
first English translation of the French rules appeared in 1640,
and are ascribed to Francis Hawkins, the twelve-year-old son of
a doctor.
--- End Quote ---
[/quote]
Oops! That will teach me to click through before posting a
bookmark...
:-[ :-[ :-[
#Post#: 17083--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: Star Wars Fan
Date: October 25, 2018, 3:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Interesting. I might be wrong but I think I've heard that after
he became president of the United States Washington refused to
shake hands with people because he believed it was somehow
"beneath" the office of the president. I'm not sure how I feel
about that.
Ed.
#Post#: 17085--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: Aleko
Date: October 25, 2018, 4:17 am
---------------------------------------------------------
The Wiki entry for this book,
HTML https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_Civility_and_Decent_Behaviour_In_Company_and_Conversation,<br
/>summarises its history.
But even those late 16th-century Jesuits weren't the first; in
the 15th century there was already a whole genre of 'courtesy
books' for the young, and many of the basic rules appear in them
consistently over the centuries.
#Post#: 17339--------------------------------------------------
Re: Geo.Washington's "rules for behavior"
DIR By: peony
Date: October 27, 2018, 10:12 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I read one that instructed people to wipe the food residue from
their lips before drinking from the drinking cup that in those
days was commonly shared with the person sitting next to you.
Ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick ick
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