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       #Post#: 17073--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: gramma dishes Date: October 24, 2018, 7:15 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=762.msg17068#msg17068
       date=1540425746]
       Once is cute, two is tolerable but, by the third time and the
       fact that she wasn't able to contain it, it becomes gross. Just
       my opinion. I wouldn't have eaten something someone spit on
       either.
       [/quote]
       Agreed.  But the "hosting" couple chose the place knowing that
       they did stuff like that.  Not only that, but they also told the
       restaurant that it was her birthday.  She didn't tell the
       restaurant that information.  They did.  So what happened, while
       unpleasant, was certainly not unpredictable!
       #Post#: 17078--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: guest657 Date: October 24, 2018, 8:52 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=762.msg17066#msg17066
       date=1540425213]
       Well, this is an etiquette board and I don't know of any
       instance where Ms. Manners would say it was ok to squirt a
       liquid across the table into someone's mouth. I'm guessing you
       did it one to many times. I would offer my sincerest apology to
       "Lisa" if you want to continue to go out with them.
       [/quote]
       The OP didn't. The chef did.
       The chef chosen and egged on by the hosts (Egged on because if
       they hadn't requested special treatment for the "birthday girl",
       it wouldn't have happened.)
       Context matters! Sticking your face in your plate and eating
       your food with no hands would be terrible table manners. But if
       you attended a Halloween party with bobbing for apples, it's
       good to play along.
       Shouting and jumping up & down would be horrible manners at the
       symphony. But it's perfectly normal at a football game, and if
       you sat silently, glaring at people for disturbing you, you
       would be a spoilsport & a poor guest.
       The OP was going along with the fun & games her hosts had set
       up, trying to be a good sport. Which is part of being a good
       guest.
       The OP not only apologized appropriately at the time, she paid
       for both their meals. Why on Earth should she keep apologizing
       when none of it was her fault in the first place?
       It sounds like OP has no desire to go out with them again, not
       in the near future anyway.
       #Post#: 17079--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: Luci Date: October 24, 2018, 11:15 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Anon4Now link=topic=762.msg17078#msg17078
       date=1540432334]
       [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=762.msg17066#msg17066
       date=1540425213]
       Well, this is an etiquette board and I don't know of any
       instance where Ms. Manners would say it was ok to squirt a
       liquid across the table into someone's mouth. I'm guessing you
       did it one to many times. I would offer my sincerest apology to
       "Lisa" if you want to continue to go out with them.
       [/quote]
       The OP didn't. The chef did.
       The chef chosen and egged on by the hosts (Egged on because if
       they hadn't requested special treatment for the "birthday girl",
       it wouldn't have happened.)
       Context matters! Sticking your face in your plate and eat ing
       your food with no hands would be terrible table manners. But if
       you attended a Halloween party with bobbing for apples, it's
       good to play along.
       Shouting and jumping up & down would be horrible manners at the
       symphony. But it's perfectly normal at a football game, and if
       you sat silently, glaring at people for disturbing you, you
       would be a spoilsport & a poor guest.
       The OP was going along with the fun & games her hosts had set
       up, trying to be a good sport. Which is part of being a good
       guest.
       The OP not only apologized appropriately at the time, she paid
       for both their meals. Why on Earth should she keep apologizing
       when none of it was her fault in the first place?
       It sounds like OP has no desire to go out with them again, not
       in the near future anyway.
       [/quote]
       Thank you. That is the clearest explanation so far of the way I
       see the whole thing.
       #Post#: 17131--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: HenrysMom Date: October 25, 2018, 2:05 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Goodness, one or two of you make it sound like I spat in Lisa’s
       meal, which I assure you I didn’t.  I closed my mouth to swallow
       what I had already taken in.  The sake then splattered on my
       face and in Lisa’s food.  I also didn’t egg the chef on to
       squirt sake at me - he did that on his own.  The above post
       makes me sound almost like an alky demanding booze.
       Also, I don’t like to advertise my birthday to all and sundry,
       so Dave and Lisa were the ones who told the restaurant it was my
       birthday.  They were also the ones who chose the restaurant - I
       already had Korean BBQ with my friends the day before, so wasn’t
       really keen, but they were hosting, so went along.
       #Post#: 17136--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: Sweet Jane Date: October 25, 2018, 2:51 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       OP, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You were trying
       to be a good sport about the restaurant's birthday custom, and
       it backfired.
       I totally understand why you paid, as well. I probably would
       have done the same, except I would have asked for the check (and
       some to-go boxes) a lot earlier because I don't have much
       tolerance for pouty behavior.
       I'm sorry that what should have been a nice evening ended up
       being an awkward dinner. I think you're right to step back from
       future birthday get-togethers with this couple.
       #Post#: 17137--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: lmyrs Date: October 25, 2018, 2:52 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=HenrysMom link=topic=762.msg17131#msg17131
       date=1540494336]
       Goodness, one or two of you make it sound like I spat in Lisa’s
       meal, which I assure you I didn’t.  I closed my mouth to swallow
       what I had already taken in.  The sake then splattered on my
       face and in Lisa’s food.  I also didn’t egg the chef on to
       squirt sake at me - he did that on his own.  The above post
       makes me sound almost like an alky demanding booze.
       Also, I don’t like to advertise my birthday to all and sundry,
       so Dave and Lisa were the ones who told the restaurant it was my
       birthday.  They were also the ones who chose the restaurant - I
       already had Korean BBQ with my friends the day before, so wasn’t
       really keen, but they were hosting, so went along.
       [/quote]
       Please don't use demeaning terms while chastising others for
       chastising you.
       #Post#: 17143--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: HenrysMom Date: October 25, 2018, 3:40 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=lmyrs link=topic=762.msg17137#msg17137
       date=1540497130]
       [quote author=HenrysMom link=topic=762.msg17131#msg17131
       date=1540494336]
       Goodness, one or two of you make it sound like I spat in Lisa’s
       meal, which I assure you I didn’t.  I closed my mouth to swallow
       what I had already taken in.  The sake then splattered on my
       face and in Lisa’s food.  I also didn’t egg the chef on to
       squirt sake at me - he did that on his own.  The above post
       makes me sound almost like I was demanding booze.
       Also, I don’t like to advertise my birthday to all and sundry,
       so Dave and Lisa were the ones who told the restaurant it was my
       birthday.  They were also the ones who chose the restaurant - I
       already had Korean BBQ with my friends the day before, so wasn’t
       really keen, but they were hosting, so went along.
       [/quote]
       Please don't use demeaning terms while chastising others for
       chastising you.
       [/quote]
       Fixed it for you.
       I’m not chastising anyone, just thinking that people need to go
       back and read what I wrote.
       Really, you think I deserved to be chastised for being in a
       situation not of my making?
       #Post#: 17144--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: lowspark Date: October 25, 2018, 3:44 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=HenrysMom link=topic=762.msg17131#msg17131
       date=1540494336]
       Goodness, one or two of you make it sound like I spat in Lisa’s
       meal, which I assure you I didn’t.  I closed my mouth to swallow
       what I had already taken in.  The sake then splattered on my
       face and in Lisa’s food.  I also didn’t egg the chef on to
       squirt sake at me - he did that on his own.  The above post
       makes me sound almost like an alky demanding booze.
       Also, I don’t like to advertise my birthday to all and sundry,
       so Dave and Lisa were the ones who told the restaurant it was my
       birthday.  They were also the ones who chose the restaurant - I
       already had Korean BBQ with my friends the day before, so wasn’t
       really keen, but they were hosting, so went along.
       [/quote]
       If you doubt HenrysMom, just google this and look at the YouTube
       videos. No way I could keep my mouth open that long and hold
       that much liquid in it without swallowing or spitting or maybe
       choking.
       The best thing that you can do at that point is close your mouth
       which will cause the liquid to bounce off your closed lips. I
       think these squirting chefs go way overboard.
       #Post#: 17146--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: lmyrs Date: October 25, 2018, 3:50 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=HenrysMom link=topic=762.msg17143#msg17143
       date=1540500007]
       [quote author=lmyrs link=topic=762.msg17137#msg17137
       date=1540497130]
       [quote author=HenrysMom link=topic=762.msg17131#msg17131
       date=1540494336]
       Goodness, one or two of you make it sound like I spat in Lisa’s
       meal, which I assure you I didn’t.  I closed my mouth to swallow
       what I had already taken in.  The sake then splattered on my
       face and in Lisa’s food.  I also didn’t egg the chef on to
       squirt sake at me - he did that on his own.  The above post
       makes me sound almost like I was demanding booze.
       Also, I don’t like to advertise my birthday to all and sundry,
       so Dave and Lisa were the ones who told the restaurant it was my
       birthday.  They were also the ones who chose the restaurant - I
       already had Korean BBQ with my friends the day before, so wasn’t
       really keen, but they were hosting, so went along.
       [/quote]
       Please don't use demeaning terms while chastising others for
       chastising you.
       [/quote]
       Fixed it for you.
       I’m not chastising anyone, just thinking that people need to go
       back and read what I wrote.
       Really, you think I deserved to be chastised for being in a
       situation not of my making?
       [/quote]
       I said no such thing. I simply asked you to reflect upon the use
       of demeaning language. At the very least, it doesn't help your
       argument or your ability to take the high road. I'm not sure how
       you take that to mean I blame you for being hit in the face with
       alcohol or ruining the evening.
       #Post#: 17147--------------------------------------------------
       Re: When Birthday Dinners go Bad...
       By: Surly Date: October 25, 2018, 4:01 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I can understand Lisa being grossed out and not amused by the
       repeated spraying and getting Sake all over her food.  It's
       possible that when they suggested the restaurant, they hadn't
       had this experience before.
       Maybe she didn't handle it as well as she could have, but I
       don't think she's a toddler because she didn't want to eat food
       with someone else's spit drink all over it (even if it just
       touched the OP's mouth and didn't go in, it's still not
       appetizing to have on food).
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